Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Mr. Adventure Says

The continuing chronicle of all the absurd things my wonderful husband says... seriously, he's my own personal comedic. Never a dull moment...but many times a very misunderstood one!

At home one afternoon
Me: Hey, have you noticed that I haven't shaved my legs in a while?
B: No.
Me: Oh, yay! That means I don't have...
B: Ahh! I mean, yes! I change my mind! I have noticed!!
Me: O_o
B: *sees my face* I mean. I like it when you shave. I want you to keep shaving!
Me: Uh...
B: Did I just doom myself to a life without a shaven wife?
In a Bed, Bath and Beyond
We were separated for a bit. When I come back I find my husband using one of the BB&B mirrors to pop a zit on his nose.

Me: I don't know you.
B: Why?
Me: How embarrassing...
When discussing redefining our budget
B: I thought when I got married my wife wouldn't spend any money.
Me: Its just two ply toilet paper. I like two-ply toilet paper.
B: But its expensive!
Me: I need two ply toilet paper. This is a non-negotiable item.
B: Fine...
Mr Adventure and his new favorite accessory: a beard :D
At an wedding rehearsal of a friend, during a "down time" Brian's phone buzzes on silence.
Me: What was that? (It only buzzed once, too short to be a call or a text, so I was curious)
B: My phone on silent. 
Me: Retrieving his phone: Its a notification that says you need to feed the goats.
Person next to us: Oh, you live on a goat farm too? We raise Alpine goats!
Me: an iphone game.
Person next to us: Oh. We raise actual goats.
Me: (to husband) we need a life.
Late at night:
Me: (playfully) Do you love me?
Brian: Of course I like moose meat.
The next morning:
B: Hey wife.
Me: Umrmmttt
B: I had a dream that you made me bacon.
Me: Thhzzzpppp???
B: Yes dear. Bacon. And it was good.
Me: We don't have any bacon.
B: Right in my ear. WHAT? NO BACON?
Me: @_O
B: THAT IS the most tragic thing I've ever heard.
Me: Uh, that was my ear. I'm trying to sleep here.
B: You had one job. one job!
Later I made pancakes...
B: I'm pretending these are bacon.
Me: -_-
Want more of Mr. Adventure? There is a part one, two, three, four, and five all here just for you :)


Deanna Fike said...

'feed the goats' made me laugh out loud.

Rachel G said...

Wives do tend to cost money, even if only in toilet paper. lol!

Paulina Dombrowski said...

I can't believe he doesn't like two ply. My dad freaks out if anyone gets toilet paper that isn't. Also which farm game does he play?

Michelle Bellamy said...

Hahaha!!!! The goats and the bacon. Hysterical.

Belle Vierge said...

I literally laughed-out-loud. These are hilarious!

KatellaXC said...

I agree with Brian on toilet paper....and bacon.... :) -Angel