Wednesday, December 31, 2014

Bobble Boot Cuff Crochet Tutorial

Ever wanted to make funky boot cuffs with polka dots on them? Well I did, of course! This video tutorial will help you create a pair of bobble boot cuffs using a 4.0mm crochet hook and two colors of worsted weight yarn. They are so adorable and quirky! You can download the PDF pattern here.

Check out the video on my youtube channel here or just simply click play below! Happy crochet!

Monday, December 29, 2014

Second Trimester here I come!

So, I'm officially 12 weeks today! And yes, I have started feeling better. Last week I finally realized that I am indeed having a baby, and I felt the first flutterings of actual excitement. Followed by a need to pee. Because, pregnancy. Before I've mostly been panicked. And I've stopped checking my underwear every time I use the bathroom for blood. Or, things you do when you are pregnant after miscarriage. I'm starting to hope and this both scares me and makes me happy at the same time.

I took a good week off for Christmas to just relax with my husband. Not talking about a blogging week off. I'm talking about a week off of life in general. We literally did nothing this week besides play lots of minecraft and eat junk food and go swimming at the YMCA and sleep in until 9am. It was glorious. I am spoiled.

Now that I can actually walk around without the room spinning and smell tacos without wanting to hurl, I have some fun things like knitting a pair of gloves and actually sending out (slightly late) Christmas cards.

There is one mild annoyance. They changed my husband's vacation policy at his place of work. He used to be able to "save" his time off until he had accumulated up to 7 weeks. They are changing it to 2 weeks. So how he can only "bank" at least 2 weeks of vacation. Guess how many weeks he has in his bank? 7, because he never takes a vacation. Guess when he has to lower that to 2? June. Guess when our baby is due? July. Can I cry on someone?

little bump
So how have you guys been doing? These pictures were taken when I was 11 weeks along on the Sunday after Christmas. I kind of love this dress, although it is tight in many places that it wasn't tight before. Many people have stated they can't even tell I'm expecting, and I realize that I don't look that pregnant yet. But I can tell. My body is all sorts of weird. I've given up having any sort of expectations and this has helped enormously. For starters, I was very gassy in church. It was all sorts of awkward. And this is one of the less embarrassing examples.

How was your Christmas?  If you follow me on Instagram, you will see I received a new toliet for Christmas. I've never been more happy.

Wednesday, December 17, 2014

My Dreams for the Future

Brita tagged me in the very inspiring blogger award! Whee, thank you Brita! (I also noticed we have a lot in common. I also hate coffee, love tea and I met my husband on Ok Cupid just like you!)

For this award you are supposed to tell 7 facts about yourself, but I decided to just say 7 things I want to accomplish in the future.

the day I dressed like a pineapple. dream come true!
  • The one thing I really want to do in the next 10 years is to start making money from knitting and crochet. Either from selling patterns, making YouTube videos or simply through creating hats and scarfs--I just want to start a business!
  • I want to learn to spell and use grammar better. If you've read my blog for an amount of time, you may notice that I struggle in this area. I'm learning ways around my dyslexia and trying to memorize grammar rules. I feel like I've come a long way. And I have--if you'd seen my writing a few years ago, you might have thought my case hopeless.
  • I want to reach my goal weight. It's 150 pounds for me. Right before I got pregnant again, I lost 17 pounds and I was weighing 158. I can't worry about my weight right now because I'm growing a baby--but I'm still dreaming!
  • Read the Harry Potter books, and the entire Robert Jordan series as well.
  • Join a foster kid program and foster a kid in need. This has been on my heart for awhile. So many kids are hurting!
  • Convince my husband to sell his motorcycle. Probably never going to happen, but I worry for him. Motorcycles are very unsafe mostly because other cars don't see them.
  • Buy a heat pump. We heat our house with a wood stove. It's messy, takes a lot of work, and in the winter everything perpetually smells like burning. Including myself. I want a heat pump. 
So yeah, those are some of the dreams I have. What about you?

Thursday, December 11, 2014

I'm an alien.

Yes. I'm finally realized what's wrong with me. I'm an alien. Well, that's the way I feel. And the symptoms I'm experiencing do seem to suggest an otherworldly cause. Screw pregnancy, I've been infested with some body snatcher from mars. Don't believe me? Well, read my symptoms and then you will understand.

1) My proximity to humans compromises my internal stability. In other words, being kissed by my husband causes me to gag. Because he smells like skin. This never bothered me before. Also, I smell like skin. Why did I never notice this before? I can't put anything close to my face.

2) Goodbye every food I ever loved. The thought of eating humus makes me want to run and die somewhere. Just the thought of it, people. AND I LOVE HUMUS. I would cry on all my humus, but since I can't put it close to my face I'll have to morn from afar. How can I both miss humus but be completely disgusted by the thought of eating it? I even tried to google a picture of humus for this post, but had to stop. Even pictures betray me.

3) All sense of organization in my life is gone. I don't know where organized Carolynn is, with her two videos a week and ability to wear something that is not pajamas, but she's gone. Today I finally felt well enough to sweep the bathroom floor. And boy did it need it; my husband cut his hair in there about two weeks ago and there was little pieces of hair everywhere. I still need to actually clean the bathroom, by the way. Maybe if I leave a trail of bacon to the cleaning closet my husband will magically get the memo.

4) I realize that other people have grown humans inside of them, but can I just say that I'm growing a human inside of me? WHAT??!?! Clearly, aliens.

5) I am no longer interested in leaving my house bubble place of cuddly warmth. Any attempt to tear me away and I'll start sobbing uncontrollably on my body pillow. Maybe it's because cars make me gag, even if I'm driving them. Or its probably the fact that I'd have to but a bra on, and I haven't worn one in like three weeks because not only are my boobs two sizes bigger, but they also feel like I've suddenly set them on fire if I attempt to restrain them in any conventional device. Yesterday I went to Taco Bell with my husband without a bra on. It was like people of Walmart but with tacos instead of cheep lawn chairs and hot sauce in place of isles of Christmas cards. I swear I'm trying to eat healthy, but yesterday was one of those "I have to eat SOMETHING" moments.

So. Yes. Aliens. If you excuse me I'm going to go make myself a salad with bacon and green olives on it before attempting to clean the other half of the bathroom.

Tuesday, December 9, 2014

Grumply Satisfied

So, I feel I should warn you: if you are dealing with miscarriage or infertility, this post isn't for you. I am going to complain about pregnancy, and if you are struggling with either of the former or latter issues, I suspect you will have little sympathy for me.

I will be honest: besides Michelle's post, all the women I've heard talk about pregnancy gave glowing reviews to the process. I mean, some talked about a little morning sickness, but from the way they went on it never sounded that bad. I guess it does not help to point out I've been looking forward to having babies ever since my mom told me about it. It sounded both wonderful and amazing and most of all fun. I never really thought it could be any different.

Not at all like what I am experiencing. Around the clock nausea. The inability to do, well, anything. I have not been able to knit or crochet. Last week I realized it had been an entire 6 days since I last showered. My armpit hair was out of control. I've been eating take out my husband has picked up because I can't cook.

This was taken yesterday. That is my little bean!
In short, I really don't like being pregnant. I would use stronger words. Every day has been a struggle.

And yes, before you go "but you've been trying for two years" I'll let you know that I am grateful. I do want to have children. I am excited. I just had no idea it was this hard. I mean, I try to think "well I still have legs and I'm alive, so buck up". But then I heat myself a bowl of mac and cheese because I realize I should be hungry but of course with all this nausea I can never tell when I'm hungry or not and when it's done the smell of it makes me even more nauseous and I cry because I don't want to eat it but I know I should because I'm sure I need food.

They say this only lasts 12 weeks. I'm at week 8.5 according to my doctor. Maybe it will be better soon. Maybe it won't. But that's okay. It is worth it, and I can't wait to meet my little boy or girl in July (she said my due date is the 16th). But I just wish it was easier and that I didn't feel so weird and spacy and sick and tired and upset all the time. I wouldn't change it for the world, through. I pray every day for my baby and safety.

Wednesday, December 3, 2014

Worthy News

As I write this my hands are shaking with excitement and fear, and perhaps a little bit of awe as well. As you might know, 9 months ago I had my third miscarriage. It honestly broke my heart, and I didn't know if I wanted to try again. Three times? How could I struggle through a forth only to be devastated with another loss?

For the last three or so months we've been on and off trying, mostly hopeful, not putting to much thought into it--just going through the ebb and flow of life. I've been working on becoming healthy, healing my gut and making a home for my husband and I. Many days I've wondered if a baby would ever fill our space.

Five weeks ago I had a positive pregnancy test. Followed by swollen boobs and a lymph node that has decided it does not want to behave normally but instead freak out because, pregnancy hormones. I've also been SO HUNGRY and SO SLEEPY. Also, fat. I've been feeling fat. But that's another story.

Two weeks after I found out I was hit by...nausea. Yes. Crippling nausea. I didn't shower for a week.I didn't really do anything, uh, but complain on twitter and eat take out my husband picked up. And I stopped being hungry. I stopped being anything but nauseous all the time. Yes, all the time. And I'm not trying to complain, because yes I am happy. but woah. Pregnancy is not like what I thought it would be. At all.
But yes. I'm pregnant. and hopeful. and scared. This is my forth pregnancy. I want to keep it. I love this little bean even through I can't even see it. And boy does it make me crazy, thinking in nine months (if my body works correctly) this little bean will be a big bean and will, somehow, without (or with?) my permission travel out of my body and into my arms.

I think the thing I'm worried about the most (besides losing the baby, again) is gaining weight. I've been working SO HARD to lose weight. I lost a lot in the last six months (20 pounds) and I don't want to find it again. I don't want to have to work hard like that even again. I don't want to look at myself in the mirror and feel depressed about my weight. I just want to keep it off. I'm trying to realize it's not a big deal. I will work hard again if I need to. And I'm still doing strength exercises (like yoga and pilates) to keep myself strong.  I've already noticed that even through I'm only 6 (7? how do they count this?) weeks along--I have gained a bit of weight.

I try not to let it get me down. But it does.

How is everyone else doing? If all goes well there will be a little Markey sometime in August. Even I'm beyond words.

Monday, December 1, 2014

Crochet Totoro Hat

I made another crochet tutorial: a Totoro hat! As you might have guessed I'm a bit obsessed with Studio Ghibli's creation. I just love Totoro, and knew he must become at hat as well as a purse. And gloves, too--but I'm still working on those!

Go here to download the written pattern, and watch the video below. And yes, I did film this crochet tutorial in my hello kitty pajamas. I was sleepy, what can I say?

Friday, November 28, 2014


I made this cute hat the other week. I love the soft lavender color. It's also my first crochet hat that I've just made up on my own without following a pattern or anything. It was easier then I thought it would be.

Lately I've been leaning more towards crochet work then knitting. Crochet just makes a lot more sense to me right now. I don't even know why. I'm sure I'll return to knitting, and I do still dabble in it, but I've been crocheting up a storm this month. I've just been dreaming of totoro hats and maybe a pikachu hat and probably something that resembles a strawberry for your head...(or for your hands? I have not decided) anyway, the possibilities are endless!

I also hand dyed this awesome shirt at my tie dye party (two? three?) months ago. I never got around to wearing it until today through. Funny how that works out. Can I just tell you that I love it?

And yes, I'm still enjoying my cute bouncy haircut. It's growing out well. I shall re-cut it into the same design come spring, through. Because it totally suits my face and my fashion sense.

I hope you guys are having a good fall. Here is to some snow next month, yes? I honestly don't know if I'm ready. Fall always ends to soon.

Wednesday, November 26, 2014

The Dicotomy of a Blog Post

These are some deep feelings I'm about to attempt to explain in the next few paragraphs. I am not sure if I even understand the give and take read and write symbiosis of blogging.

I know a lot of people accuse bloggers of writing things to get followers, or writing things to get attention. Like when a blogger (such as myself) chooses to post about something extremely personal. I'll see comments like "you only wrote about this to get attention". Or my favorite "get over yourself, sweetheart". Usually I delete these types of comments (and I don't get that many), but recently it's got me thinking.

I don't want to write in a vacuum. I don't know any blogger who wants to write in a vacuum. The reason I have a blog and not a handwritten diary that I store on my shelf at home is because I like interacting with other people and forming online relationships. Furthermore, I enjoy raising awareness about many issues through my blog. Adding my voice and personal experience to issues that are important to me is fun. It's more then fun, actually. It's healing, wonderful, amazing, and interesting.

That's the give and take I'm talking about. It's like a pool. I write about my life. And I read about other people's lives through other blogs I follow. Take Mishmash, one of my favorite blogs. I read her blog because I like seeing through her eyes. I don't read her blog because I think she wants attention, and I know Michelle does not write because she wants attention. I don't know exactly why Michelle writes, but boy am I glad she does because her blog posts are some of the most literary pieces of enlightened humor that I've ever read. I've learned things about life from reading her blog. And you know what else? I feel like I've made a good friend too. My husband and I actually went up and met Michelle and her husband and hung out with her and it was one of the most awesome and fun days. She showed me around her city and boy was it confusing and I'm sure I stuck out like a awkward tourist with my camera and my million questions. Michelle was sweet and kind and well amazing, even when we both didn't know what to say to each other because I was like omg I'm meeting the amazing and awesome Michelle and yes I don't know what to say and I hope she likes me and does not notice that I am a flaming weird panda. It was that kind of day.

Okay, I think I lost track of my point somewhere. What I'm saying is every blog has a different agenda. Some want to reform the fashion world. Some what to make money. And yes, I'm sure there are bloggers out there that write for attention.

Personally, I write because I like sharing my story. And I hope you read my blog because you like hearing it. Or because you find it helpful. Or because you googled "sexy kitty girl" (actually, I take that one back. Those people only spend like half a second on my blog anyway. hah. Guess I'm wearing to many clothes for their taste.)

But there is this dichotomy, like I said. A blog isn't really a blog if no one reads it. All bloggers, I'm sure, enjoy the feedback they get from posts. And I myself enjoy the community of bloggers I've found here on this little corner of the internet. And I don't think there is anything wrong with trying to grow a brand or get more readers. It's when the idea of "getting more clicks" becomes greater then "creating good content and cultivate relationships" that I start to have a problem. I mean, we all know those blogs that get big and then are suddenly swarmed with ads, guest posts, and updates about all the amazing free stuff companies are throwing at them. Nothing turns me off more. I mean, I love a good review now and then, and I understand an ad or two, but the reason I come to your blog in the first place is to get to know you and hear your story and be a part of your journey. If you suddenly start to try and sell me miniature moose statues in every single blog post I can assure you I will lose interest quickly. And I won't buy a statue. 

Anyway, while I do like the attention my blog has brought to me, and the success I feel I have achieved, (I mean, I was on Good Morning America!! That was amazing!) I'm not writing for attention. I'm on a journey. I have thoughts, I have ideas, and I want to share them with the world. My blog has helped me both with emotional healing and in the area of friendship.

And I am so thankful for the opportunity to share with you all.

Monday, November 24, 2014

Crochet Watermelon Purse

I crochet this cute little watermelon purse, sewed on a zipper and even added a lining. I love it so much I promptly made another one.

This little crochet watermelon bag would make a great clutch or even a good gift. Enjoy, and download the written PDF pattern here!

What should I make next?

Friday, November 21, 2014

My Thoughts on Group Therapy

Once again, life has taught me that words I thought held a stigma or meant one thing actually don't really mean all that much. They are just, you know...words.

About six months ago I started attending a therapy group. I went out of desperation, because I was feeling low and really struggling with some things. A friend of mine sent me the information, and at first when I received it I was a little offended. She thinks I need group therapy? Whatttt???

I quickly realized she was just trying to help. And also that group therapy isn't a bad sort of place. Attending does not mean I am somehow broken, nor is it a blatant acknowledgement that I am unable to cope with life. (Note: I can't cope with life sometimes and that's okay...)

It's a place of healing. It's a place I've found others who are dealing with the same things I am. I'm not alone. All the women in my therapy have supported me in some manner, and I hope I also have supported them. They are wonderful living breathing women who are struggling with infertility, miscarriage and child loss, just like me. Their stories are wonderfully poignant and moving and I am touched that they have chosen to share them with others.

I went because I was bitter and searching and desperate. I found healing and a place of acceptance.

So if you are thinking about therapy, and if you are scared or feeling vulnerable--don't let that stop you. Go. We are all hurting, we are all experiencing disappointment and sorrow as we traverse this thing called life. We all make mistakes. And we've all been let down by others. There should be no shame in attending. Coming together, hearing stories of others who are walking the same path--it really helps. And I'm not ashamed, nor do I feel lesser in some way. I love my little group, and I wouldn't trade it for the world.

Now if only there was a therapy group for people "unable to finish writing a novel". Because I would also attend that.

Wednesday, November 19, 2014

Fall Wears

Fall really is a perfect time for wigs. They keep you warm, and don't feel as cumbersome as they do in spring or summer. I'm still in love with this lavender creation from Miss Violet Lace. It's holding up well, and considering I have no idea how to wash and restyle it, that is great news to me. I recently tried to straighten my pink wig I bought from her and I think I ruined it. We will see. I should have looked up what to do instead of just plowing ahead.

So I've been enjoying this wig recently. I love having colorful fun hair. And I love falling leaves. Everything is gorgeous right now where I live and I'm trying to soak it all up before the barren winter descends and absconds with all the color.

I have another thing to talk about. It's nano month, so that means everyone and their mom is writing a novel or talking about writing a novel. Remember when I was writing a novel? And I said I was going to finish it? Well, I can't. I mean, I don't know how. I'm stressed up to my eyeballs even thinking about it and I hate where I was taking it and I don't know how to go back and fix it and... I just feel frustrated and that I let a lot of people down. So yeah, there's that. Not sure what to do exactly.

I really want to finish but I just feel so stuck. I feel like I've lost connection with the hearts of my characters. And I don't want that.

In short, I'm giving up. Shelving the idea. For now. Maybe I'm just not ready, or maybe I'm trying to do to much (blog, youtube, take care of husband, wash my own socks and you know, all the other regular adult stuff...) or maybe it's just not meant to be.

And yes, if you must know, I have cried over it and I feel so torn. But what can you do?

Monday, November 17, 2014


I've noticed a few interesting differences in the way my husband I view the world. I wanted to put them down here because I think they are important, but I don't exactly know why. I don't know if it's because my husband is male, or the way he and I were raised or...just a reflection of the way today's world works.

Last week my husband and I pulled into Walmart. It was dark, and we found a parking spot near the back and went in for our things. On the way out with our groceries in tow my husband leans into the front seat, the car door wide open, his body half in and half out, searching for his iPhone. He even runs to check the trunk in case whatever it is he's lost was misplaced there. And this makes me really nervous. 

When he finally gets in the car I tell him tersely that he needs to get in quickly and not sit there with the door open. It's dangerous, I say.

He does not understand.

I am confused. My mother taught me to be very careful in parking lots. You look around as you are walking. You get in the car quickly and close the door and lock them before you search for anything. And you don't ever exit the car to check the trunk. It's dangerous and stupid, doesn't he know that?

I tell all this to my husband, wondering why his mother never taught him this. But he is looking at me like I'm crazy. I realize then that Brian does not have a fear of dark parking lots. Not only that, he is confidant in his ability to either fend off an attacker if need be--but he mostly thinks no one would mess with him. I mean, my husband is 6ft 2inchs. And male. Statistically he is probably right.

For some reason I thought what my mother taught me was universal. Or understood by people.

It's weird to think that my husband Brian does not experience fear or even caution in a dark parking lots! I know what that feels like. My husband does not.

And that's the thought of the day.

Friday, November 14, 2014

Crochet Collar Tutorial

Last month I made this crochet collar tutorial. I also made a video tutorial that shows you how to create the above collar (one of four collars included in the PDF file). I love these collars and honestly I wear them a lot. If you don't know how to crochet you can buy one in my shop for just $10. Enjoy!

Wednesday, November 12, 2014

Q & A #2

For my first Q and A I took questions from my blog. This time I decided to answer the most basic questions I keep receiving from my YouTube channel.

I really love doing these types of videos. It's fascinating to me that people are interested in my life, and well, it is also a subject I know a lot about! For this video I picked 10 of the most common questions I received almost daily on YouTube. Enjoy!

If you have a question for me, leave a comment and I'll cover it in the next Q and A video. These are fun!

Monday, November 10, 2014

I think I might love sweaters

Yes, today I'm going to confess my undying love for sweaters. Or what those in England call "jumpers". I feel like I could live in them. Just give me a sweater and pair of skinny jeans and a hot beverage (preferably tea) and a book and a snowy day...okay so I have a long list. But suffice to say I'd be happy owning a million sweaters.

This sweater is more like a sweater dress. Okay it is a sweater dress. I wear it with leggings because it's a very short sweater dress and on this particular day I didn't feel like showing my bum to the world. The world can thank me later.

Oh, and I also made the scarf I'm wearing in the first picture. If you want to buy one, they are in my shop.

I hope you guys are having a good fall. I am enjoying the season with wood fires and husband snuggles and...warm sweaters. God is good.

Friday, November 7, 2014

Knitting, Lately

I finished three hats recently!

First, I test knit Temescal for another designer. I love this stitch pattern--you use two yarns held together and she gives directions to use fingering or worsted yarn.

I also knit another Wilderness Hat. This is my 8th wilderness hat and my last one for awhile! I created one for each woman in my therapy group. I hope they love their hats as much as I love mine!

I also made a baby bear hat for a friend who is expecting soon.

What have you been making lately? I'm off to see what I will be knitting next.

Wednesday, November 5, 2014

I don't understand seasonal decorating.

I don't understand it. Every single holiday every single woman pulls out special "decor" for their house/apartment/condo. The "regular" decor is put away in boxes and the new color scheme is implemented with artful grace and enough packing peanuts to drown a three-year-old.

Except for me. I don't change my decor. I mean, it's just stuff on shelves. I don't understand this tradition and I sigh every time it takes over my pinterest feed. I don't care about welcoming in fall by changing my house to match the colors of the falling leaves outside my window. It just seems silly to put the perfectly good decorations I already have out into boxes and buy ones that match the season when the season is just going to change again. I don't need more then one set of useless, pretty crap for my house.

And during Christmas everyone (I mean everyone) seems to think that life is suddenly lacking in the red and green and glittery department--not only lacking, but also that it's their personal job to make up for this shortcoming of holiday cheer. Trust me, Walmart and Target display enough jolly Santa Claus and Christmas trees to make me never want to see those colors again, especially not in my own home. I think I might just crawl under my own bed from sensory overload at that point.

So can someone please explain to me why this is a thing, and why, when I mentioned I did not subject myself to this utter meaningless birthright in my women's bible study I was met with blank stares and outright looks of horror?

No thank you Walmart. You can keep your plastic autumn decor and your pumpkin scented candles and your sparkly lights. I like my living room just the way it is. 

And don't even get me started on how prevalent Christmas music is, and how much it ruins any and all enjoyment with the overplaying and the busyness and the cheer. I mean, I like Christmas. I just don't like it shoved down my throat every time I turn around.

Monday, November 3, 2014

Basic Glove Tutorial

I created a basic knit glove tutorial. You can view the video below or download the PDF here. These would look great in any color. Three different sizes (sm, med, large) are given so they will fit almost anyone! There are also two different thumb sizes included in the pattern.

Sunday, November 2, 2014

Bread Revolution Review

I was happy to receive my next book to review from Blogging for Books

So this book has so much information in it I don't even know what to do with myself. There are recipes for making bread from scratch from grain to loaf, down to the detail level of how to cultivate and manipulate ingredients. It's simply amazing...sort of. For example, I can tell Peter Reinheart has devoted a serious portion of his life to playing with bread and baking.

As a extreme novice in the realm of cooking it was honestly just mostly overwhelming. I would only recommend this book to people who are looking to be master bread makers, or homesteaders. It's a bit much for me.

There are just so many recipes I don't know where to start! There are 6 gluten free ones that look really really yummy.

There is every type of bread imaginable in this book with precise, detailed instructions on how to make each loaf into bread perfection, in full colored full page pictures.

As I'm not a connoisseur of bread, this book was a way to in depth and over my head for easy use. It's probably something I might pull out in my late 30s, when I need another hobby, but it isn't something I see myself using regularly or even at all. I don't make things from scratch, and honestly the thought of making bread and it taking 8 hours sounds a bit much to me.

That does not mean this book isn't amazing, because it is. Just know there is a high learning curve.

Not my favorite book I've received for review so far, but that is certainly okay.

Friday, October 31, 2014

Loving Layers

It's Halloween! It also happens to be my mother in law's birthday--we are going to bake her a cake and spend some time with her. But tomorrow the husband and I are attending a huge halloween bash with costumes and friends and spiced apple cider. I can't wait!

Right now I'm just loving layers. And this outfit.

Someone pointed out I hadn't posed a photo of the back of my haircut. Well, here is a photo, with an hat attached. Hope it helps, hehe! It's much shorter in the back then in the front. I love love love it. I also love these pants with like everything in me. If they weren't so thin I'd wear them more!

How is your day going? Have a great last run today before November and the cold descends.

Wednesday, October 29, 2014

Thoughts on Marriage

When I first started dating I believed the lie of "the one". There was only one man for me. And when I met him I would know. And after marriage he would love me and only me forever, and together we would have eyes only for each other until the end of time. The rest of the world would appear pallid and ugly as it was washed in the glorious aura of our True Love.

Fast forward two years (not even that long, I know) and I've learned a few things. One, there isn't just one person for me or for my husband. He became my one person when I married him, but I'm sure if I had not married him I'd still be happy and so would he (not that I want that, you know, I'm glad I married him. I'm just saying if things had worked out differently and we'd never met or something, I wouldn't be suddenly deprived of love). I mean, I've dated other people and I've most certainly thought they were "the one". But I didn't marry them. I chose my husband to be "the one". It wasn't magic. It wasn't karma. And it wasn't foreordained or anything. I could have married any of my previous boyfriends (and came close to that point a few times) but in the end I chose not to, and eventually met my husband. He is the one I chose to love and remain faithful to. He is my "one" now, because we are married.

I'm also still occasionally attracted to other members of the male species. Even through I'm married, my eyes were not cursed with blindness: other people are still very much cute and sexy and interesting. There are people I've met since marriage that if I was single I would want to get to know more. I don't think this is wrong, and I don't think by casually noticing a well groomed man or a spark of intelligence or emotional compatibility in another person makes me unfaithful to my marriage. Nor do I think having male friends is wrong. What, am I suddenly supposed to lock myself up away from "scary males" just because I have a ring on my finger? That is dumb. I'm not going to forget my morals and jump in bed with anyone (but my husband) over a mere friendship. Not to mention that telling women they can't have male friends ostracizes them and teaches them that they can't trust a) other males and b) themselves.

What I have with my husband is more then friendship. We are more then friends. We are lovers--and that's a status I don't share with anyone else. When the bond crosses from friendship to lovers is when the problems start to arise.

I use boundaries and openness and honesty when traversing any and all friendships, regardless of gender. And I make sure to always keep my husband's feelings in mind when making decisions. These are just things I use in my marriage to make sure there are no misunderstandings. My husband and I discuss our individual wants, needs, and desires and make informed decisions about our life together. When it all comes down to it I trust my husband to never cheat on me because he is an honest man. I've seen him treat me and others with integrity and thats why I trust him. It has nothing to do with how many or how few female friends he has. I know he feels the same about me.

What do you think?

Monday, October 27, 2014

Exercise Update

I didn't exercise last week, but that's okay. I plan on getting back on the workout train starting today! I won't lie, I've been feeling really great lately. I'm still at 160 pounds but my clothes fit better. So far (since my last update post, whenever that was) I've lost 4 inches under my bust, going from 34 to 30 inches. I have lost two inches around my hips, going from 44 inches to 42 inches. I've lost one inch around the upper arm (didn't measure, sorry). I can't tell you anything else, because I'm lazy. Suffice to say this diet and exercise kick I have been on is a wonderful lifestyle change and I love it. I still want to lose two more inches in my hips--my goal is a 40 inch circumference.

I'm still pear shaped. I'll always be pear shaped (meaning, my hips will be larger then my top). And I'm okay with this. I love my shape!

My next mode of attack is to figure out how to fix my gut. I suffer from bloating in this area--its not a fat issue, but a GI track one (you can learn more about it in my vlogs). Getting rid of gluten and dairy in my diet as well as sugar has helped so much--but I'm still bloated. It's just not as bad as it was (and it was bad, trust me). I need to be more careful about the gluten. It's hard to avoid both gluten and dairy as both these things are stables in the American diet. Many days I successfully avoid milk products but gluten is a little bit harder. Creative dinners have been a must around here.

How are you guys doing? Here's to the next month of exercise, knitting, and fun.

Friday, October 24, 2014

Kitty Hat Tutorial

I made a cute crochet kitty hat tutorial that is perfect for beginners. You will need aran weight yarn and a size 5.0mm crochet hook to create this hat. It really is very easy! Perfect for fall, and stretchy enough that it can fit a wide variety of heads.  What should I make next?

Wednesday, October 22, 2014


I love it when my husband takes my picture. I think I smile more, because I'm interacting with the man I love and he makes me laugh. Also, he's cute.

The pictures just come out way more candid!

Fall is here, and I am happy.

What have you been wearing lately?