Monday, October 5, 2015

Why Capsule Wardrobes are Stupid

I think capsule wardrobes are stupid. I'm sorry, I do. They sound so dull and monochrome to me! I mean, I can see the use if you are traveling and have to fit a weeks worth of clothes in a carry-on, but other than that, no. No thank you. I love my variety and color and I need way more than two pairs of leggings because who has time to do laundry every other day and Reuben certainly isn't going to realize I only have one more pair of leggings and decide not to spit up all over me right before I am about to leave for church.

I also don't want to be known as "the lady who always wears ____" where ____ is the base of my capsule wardrobe. I mean, I know a girl who does this capsule thing. And she always wears the same two colors. And the same shirt every other Sunday. I want more options than that.

And I don't want to just jump on some minimalist bandwagon because it's hip or mainstream. I feel like 50% of the people who tote this capsule wardrobe nonsense do it because they think it sounds cool. And that definitely isn't me. I am the girl who wants to look like a rainbow one day but the next decides to wear a little black dress. (Wait who am I kidding I wear leggings and my kid's body fluids mostly, but hey, a girl can dream, right?) Regardless, I love having more than 30 pieces of clothing. I love it. And I feel absolutely no shame in that fact.

I think sometimes that people are afraid to have nice things. Or to let people know they enjoy having nice things, like it makes them look bad or something. Today's youth or millennials or whatever you want to call us always seem to want to one up each other in the suffering category. We talk about our gluten free diets or our paleo journeys and sneer over our Starbucks at each other, comparing our lives to see who is giving up the most, who is suffering the most. And it's not about that.

You know, I enjoy having a full closet to pick and choose from and that isn't going to change, and it does not have to. Owning more than five cardigans is not a shameful thing. What the whole minimalist movement is missing out on is the fact that having more than 10 sweaters in my closet is not an unpardonable sin. There is not some magic number of clothing items that summons Nirvana or will turn you into a zen goddess--and there is equally not a number that suddenly makes you a scrooge. 

And that's my thoughts on that.

Saturday, October 3, 2015

Slow Fashion Goals

After reading a lot of the other slow fashion october goals--all I can think is they must not have babies. I don't mean this negatively in any way. But it is true that taking care of a small child does take up a majority of my time. It's blessed time, and I enjoy it with the kind of joy that only God can give, but it is time that I am not able to devote to fashion.

So yes, it's the honest truth that my goals would be a lot different if, say, I'd participated in slow fashion october last year. This year with Reuben I am lucky if I get 30 minutes to crochet in the evening while daddy holds baby. Usually daddy time is spent by me in the shower or washing dishes or eating food sans baby. There is a reason Reuben goes though so many outfits in a day, and yes it has to do with his ability to projectile milk--but it also has to do with the fact that I eat while nursing a lot (don't worry, not hot things) and thus my son also wears my food on occasion. It's a give and take relationship. More give from me at this point, but he's cute so I don't care.

So I have to think reasonably, because I know I don't have a lot of time. My slow fashion goals right now are to finish this black scarf I am crocheting. I've made a lot of colorful neckwear in my years as a fiber artist, before I finally realized I need something that goes with everything. Thus I'm making a chunky black wool scarf. It will serve the purpose of keeping me very warm and I'm sure I can wear it with 99% of my wardrobe.

I also want to pare down my closet more. I mean, I've done two big closet purges in the last two years. In the first one I got my two closets down to one. In the second big move I threw a lot out that I just don't wear anymore.  Now with a baby my style and my body has changed and I am once again overwhelmed with what I have. I don't have 30 minutes to put together an outfit anymore--I need to be quick and I can't spend a lot of time searching through all my tops. I need to pare down more for the simple reason that I can't see anything in there. I've enlisted a friend to come over and help, because I need someone who can be ruthless. I'm excited to see the results.

These goals may seem small and simple, but with a baby, a husband and a house to keep in order they are large to me! I am really looking forward to this October--I love setting and meeting objectives. There is something so satisfying in checking things off a list. Annnddd I might be letting my type A show.

Friday, October 2, 2015

Rules for Holding my Baby

I'm going to step up on my soap box and outline some rules that I think (snobbishly) that everyone should know before holding a baby. Specifically mine, but whatever.

  1. If you request to hold my newborn and the first thing you do is attempt to put your mouth on his skin, hair, or fingers I will go full helicopter mom on you. Be prepared to listen to a lecture if you even look like you are about to kiss my child. Because germs. And eww.
  2. Do Not Put You Hand, Fingers, or Other Object in my kids mouth. I legit slapped someones hand away from Reuben's mouth in his second week of life as they attempted to stick their FINGER in. It was an automatic, no-thoughts, panic slap. I even apologized afterwards. And then I lectured them.
  3. Don't scream when my baby spits up on you. Because he will cry from the loud noise that just happened right next to his ear and then you will feel bad. But I can (sort of) understand this one--I mean, it surprised me the first few times he decided that mommy needed to wear his body fluid. But I will laugh at you. And then I'll help you clean yourself. This is why I have an extra shirt in my diaper bag. 
  4. My kid makes funny faces when he poops. I will tell you this if he happens to do it around you. I am sorry. Actually I will mostly talk about my kid. I mean, he is a Big Deal. I'm sorry if I appear to have no life anymore. Just a fair warning--if you hold him, I'll probably start telling you cute poop stories about him.
  5. If you do not know me or my baby and I am in Krogers shopping, do not squeal about how cute he is and try to touch him because I will react like you are attempting to kidnap my child and then the wrath of God shall decend down upon you because how dare you
  6. If you come to my house and ring the doorbell I will secretly start planning on ways to interrupt you when you are sleeping, like sounding a loud alarm in your house during your nap time. 
  7. Don't be surprised if he cries and when you hand him back he stops crying right away. I am the amazing milk thing. Hear me roar I mean, milk. It's a softer sound but just as cool a superpower, trust me. Don't take it the wrong way, and don't think Reuben doesn't like you. He just likes me more. I squeezed him out of my vagina, so I win.