I'm pulling the plug.

In March of this year is when I found out I had alpha gal (I'd had it for years and it had been getting worse and worse and I had finally figured it out) we went on two separate diets in our house. A month after I found out about alpha gal, I figured out Becky had it. Then a few weeks later I started miscarrying our 11th baby--my 8th miscarriage--which went on for over two months as I continued to stop and start bleeding. Becky's alpha gal is now in remission, thank goodness! Mine is not. Doing the diet helped me to discover that Becky had an egg allergy. She had been having stomach pain on and off before the alpha gal diagnosis (and certainly alpha gal was part of it) but after going on the homeopathy for 30 days she was able to eat meat and have dairy again without issue. Becky is also allergic to chicken, turkey and turkey eggs, and quite possibly all bird and bird products. I think this is because we kept feeding her eggs for so long without realizing that eggs were the problem. Ugh, mom guilt! Poor Becky. But I'm so glad we have now figured it out!

I finally sat down yesterday (in an exhausted heap) and decided that we are all going on the same diet with a few variations. I can't keep trying to make two meals or stagger leftovers, it's driving me crazy. I need to have brain space for homeschooling and I'm so tired of not knowing what is for dinner or lunch or breakfast...breakfast has been a hot mess for awhile.

We are all going to go gluten free. And everything we make will be dairy free. I will keep raw milk around for the kids to drink so that we have a source of calcium, but we won't cook with it. We will all be egg free and if we can manage this then all I will have to do is make chicken and beef when needed and beans on the side. (Brian and Reuben are allergic to beans) We desperately need a diet in our home that everyone can eat. 

I went on thrift books and ordered 4 "top 8 free" allergy friendly cookbooks and I can't wait to get them. I told the kids we are going to take these cookbooks and systematically go through them and find some meals we like and take the guesswork out of meal time. Yes, it's going to be hard. We have a lot of gluten things in our home that we will give to a friend as we transition. But we are going to do this and learn how to nourish each other and thrive. We will make ONE meal for everyone! 

A journey has to start somewhere, doesn't it? I have been gluten and egg free before, but only when I was either by myself and/or with small toddlers, not homeschooling. I'm glad I have a big 11 year old to help me who loves baking, and an inquisitive 8 year old who enjoys chopping and a toddler who just loves mixing things in a big bowl. 

I didn't want to do this--I don't want to make my kids who can tolerate gluten be gluten free or everyone be egg free just for Becky-- but there are just too many allergies to manage, so we are going to try consolidating everyone. And if it doesn't work better than what we are doing now we can always go back. 

I had a very relaxed morning today with my devotions and soup for breakfast. God is so good and I am trying to trust in him through all these crazy times...as we miss our Pastor who passed away in September and I just found out another friend is having a still birth, which is devastating. There is so much sorrow in the world.  Through it all God is there, guiding us home. 

Sick vacation

This is not the post I was hoping to write...we are all still sick. This was supposed to be Daddy's fall vacation week and here he is sick in bed with flu symptoms. Reuben, Becky and Esther are still on the mend as well, Reuben is almost well, but he had a UTI after his cold we had to deal with and I'm waiting to see if it is all taken care of. Becky and Esther are still coughing. It has been overwhelming to say the least! 

Esther has been waking up 3-4 times a night and last night I woke up with an alpha gal attack at 2am. We are all exhausted. I have decided to cut out all alpha gal products at home again by this weekend. It isn't working trying to do two things at home, I am suffering and it is unsustainable. I hope to be better in a month and if not we will have to figure something out for the health of our family. My kids need meat and I can't cook it, or be around the fumes from cooking it. Becky is allergic to eggs and chicken and Reuben is allergic to beans and avocado, kiwi, banana, bell peppers and some melons. It's crazy over here...

I called two acupuncture places over the week and East West Acupuncture is visiting China and not coming back until November--I made an appointment there for November 11th. Acupuncture Works is also in my area and they are also traveling until November. (hey, maybe they travel together?) But I have that appointment with East West already booked and that's a relief. Hopefully I can hang on for another month. I wonder if it will work? It would be nice to be all better by Thanksgiving. 

I'm slightly terrified of acupuncture, but I hate alpha gal more. I really hope this works. 

Esther is watching Pocoyo on YouTube with the big kids and I just heated up some leftover pea soup for lunch and I'm so tired of all the illness and the need for screen time. Praying tomorrow will be better.

I did get to do a little craft with Becky this morning after karate. She made a little stuffed rabbit and I made a Christmas tree ornament and that was so nice and relaxing. Then Esther decided to start screaming and clinging to my leg and it all went downhill from there. Three is a hard age, especially when you are sick.

Tomorrow might be better. But it might not. Who knows? I'm praying for healing, peace and rest for my little household, and for perseverance through all our allergies...and that I will stay well, trust in the Lord, and find the strength to clean the house...

Drostra Week

We've had a string of bad days lately and I am just so over it! So many annoying things have happened--little things, but they add up.

I tried to buy Panera for my kids only to find out everything has egg in it. Even the Mac and cheese has egg white powder added as a thickener. Mac and cheese does not need eggs in it! What is this nonsense? We did the drive through and they forgot one whole sandwich I ordered and I had to drive all the way back for a refund. Which took away the ease and rest I was trying to attain by using the drive through. 

I know, you are thinking: why didn't I check the bag? Esther was crying and Becky was asking me when we would be home and she was so upset that she couldn't have anything and I felt like such a useless mom because I was sure she could at least have the mac and cheese... and it was just chaos and I didn't think to check! The manager was rude to me on the phone when I called until she found my sandwich sitting waiting to be packaged--I guess she thought I was making it up for a refund. I clearly wasn't. 

Our hot water doesn't work sometimes. This is an issue with our solar panels and I don't want to get into it because there is nothing I can do about it. I do not like the solar panels most of the time. But I need hot water especially with sick kids that need herb baths, not to mention laundry and dishes...I'm sure my husband will fix it...eventually.

The next day we went to our chiropractor appointment only to find that we didn't have a chiro appointment. It is unclear if it was my mistake or hers. Scheduling issues happen I totally understand but on top of everything it just added to my overwhelm. 

Esther has finally caught the illness the kids passed around and she is very sick! I love her, and I have been trying to take care of her but clingy babies make for zero productivity which makes me depressed. This is not her fault. It is clearly a personal problem with myself. 

We have had one day of school in the last week and a half. The big kids are all coughing like crazy and I am running on very interrupted sleep due to sick Esther. Brian is also sick and I don't know why, but this is beyond my limit of problem juggling. All my balls are going to be dropped and I can't figure out why my brain is screaming at me and I feel like a failure.

Adulthood sure is fun sometimes. 

I know that not everything rests on me and I shouldn't try to hold up the world. It's okay to go slower when things are hard and this is a very hard season! So things are going to be rocky for awhile until we find our new medium. 

But sometimes it is difficult to see where to start.

I think I'll start with a chai latte and more Pepa Pig for the sick Esther...and heading to the homeopathy store to get some more remedies for coughs, colds, and stressed-out moms. 

I bought Drostra 30 and 200 and Rumex crispus.