Sick vacation

This is not the post I was hoping to write...we are all still sick. This was supposed to be Daddy's fall vacation week and here he is sick in bed with flu symptoms. Reuben, Becky and Esther are still on the mend as well, Reuben is almost well, but he had a UTI after his cold we had to deal with and I'm waiting to see if it is all taken care of. Becky and Esther are still coughing. It has been overwhelming to say the least! 

Esther has been waking up 3-4 times a night and last night I woke up with an alpha gal attack at 2am. We are all exhausted. I have decided to cut out all alpha gal products at home again by this weekend. It isn't working trying to do two things at home, I am suffering and it is unsustainable. I hope to be better in a month and if not we will have to figure something out for the health of our family. My kids need meat and I can't cook it, or be around the fumes from cooking it. Becky is allergic to eggs and chicken and Reuben is allergic to beans and avocado, kiwi, banana, bell peppers and some melons. It's crazy over here...

I called two acupuncture places over the week and East West Acupuncture is visiting China and not coming back until November--I made an appointment there for November 11th. Acupuncture Works is also in my area and they are also traveling until November. (hey, maybe they travel together?) But I have that appointment with East West already booked and that's a relief. Hopefully I can hang on for another month. I wonder if it will work? It would be nice to be all better by Thanksgiving. 

I'm slightly terrified of acupuncture, but I hate alpha gal more. I really hope this works. 

Esther is watching Pocoyo on YouTube with the big kids and I just heated up some leftover pea soup for lunch and I'm so tired of all the illness and the need for screen time. Praying tomorrow will be better.

I did get to do a little craft with Becky this morning after karate. She made a little stuffed rabbit and I made a Christmas tree ornament and that was so nice and relaxing. Then Esther decided to start screaming and clinging to my leg and it all went downhill from there. Three is a hard age, especially when you are sick.

Tomorrow might be better. But it might not. Who knows? I'm praying for healing, peace and rest for my little household, and for perseverance through all our allergies...and that I will stay well, trust in the Lord, and find the strength to clean the house...

Drostra Week

We've had a string of bad days lately and I am just so over it! So many annoying things have happened--little things, but they add up.

I tried to buy Panera for my kids only to find out everything has egg in it. Even the Mac and cheese has egg white powder added as a thickener. Mac and cheese does not need eggs in it! What is this nonsense? We did the drive through and they forgot one whole sandwich I ordered and I had to drive all the way back for a refund. Which took away the ease and rest I was trying to attain by using the drive through. 

I know, you are thinking: why didn't I check the bag? Esther was crying and Becky was asking me when we would be home and she was so upset that she couldn't have anything and I felt like such a useless mom because I was sure she could at least have the mac and cheese... and it was just chaos and I didn't think to check! The manager was rude to me on the phone when I called until she found my sandwich sitting waiting to be packaged--I guess she thought I was making it up for a refund. I clearly wasn't. 

Our hot water doesn't work sometimes. This is an issue with our solar panels and I don't want to get into it because there is nothing I can do about it. I do not like the solar panels most of the time. But I need hot water especially with sick kids that need herb baths, not to mention laundry and dishes...I'm sure my husband will fix it...eventually.

The next day we went to our chiropractor appointment only to find that we didn't have a chiro appointment. It is unclear if it was my mistake or hers. Scheduling issues happen I totally understand but on top of everything it just added to my overwhelm. 

Esther has finally caught the illness the kids passed around and she is very sick! I love her, and I have been trying to take care of her but clingy babies make for zero productivity which makes me depressed. This is not her fault. It is clearly a personal problem with myself. 

We have had one day of school in the last week and a half. The big kids are all coughing like crazy and I am running on very interrupted sleep due to sick Esther. Brian is also sick and I don't know why, but this is beyond my limit of problem juggling. All my balls are going to be dropped and I can't figure out why my brain is screaming at me and I feel like a failure.

Adulthood sure is fun sometimes. 

I know that not everything rests on me and I shouldn't try to hold up the world. It's okay to go slower when things are hard and this is a very hard season! So things are going to be rocky for awhile until we find our new medium. 

But sometimes it is difficult to see where to start.

I think I'll start with a chai latte and more Pepa Pig for the sick Esther...and heading to the homeopathy store to get some more remedies for coughs, colds, and stressed-out moms. 

I bought Drostra 30 and 200 and Rumex crispus.

Tuesday

Once again I'm sitting here listening to my children play, but instead of joy today I feel sad. Not for my children, nor for the weather--it's a gorgeous 60f outdoors right now--but for myself. I'm so tired of being chronically ill and fighting my body through the long homeschool days. We did a bit of homeschooling today and then I sat down and tried to see what I could do about some of my persistent symptoms. I always feel better with a plan.

For my chronic IBS-C I have decided to go down to two meals a day, and make sure one is blended. I'll eat a big lunch--I plan to have a salad daily with a carb side. Today it was potato salad. I love potato salad, and I also had a chickpea and chicken salad with delicious Greek dressing on it. Then for dinner I'll have something blended. Today it was a smoothie. Maybe this will get things moving and help me be less constipated. 

I also decided to take some aloe daily. I have George's Always Active Aloe and it didn't help me before but that doesn't mean I can't try it again. I'm going to take it around 3pm so it has a good long time to help my gut before my liquid dinner, and I'm going to start with 1/4 a cup daily. For dinners I could do a smoothie but I am thinking of doing blended bone broth soups. I could make sweet potato soup. I love soup, so this will be good, and good for my body hopefully. But also hard, because I will be making 2 separate meals some times. This way I can freeze the soup for me, and I can batch cook it on the weekends, but I'll have to make something for everyone else. Today I made Becky a bean and rice bowl and Reuben, Daddy (well, he isn't home yet but his food is done) and Esther had leftovers that included chicken (so Becky couldn't eat it). Our allergies are strange but here we are...

But, I know I've got to do something because living like this isn't sustainable. I just feel so downtrodden today. Will anything ever get better? What is wrong with me? Why can't I heal? What am I missing? Will these changes even help me or just torture me with food discipline... I wonder, and I pray. 

God healed me for one month in April and it was wonderful. Why could I heal then and now now? What am I doing wrong? I want to be well and have energy to enjoy a full life with my children. They are so fun and amazing and I wish I could take the hours I spend working on my health or lying in bed recuperating/resting and instead spend it with them. God is so good and I do what I can but one can always dream of more, right? I don't want it to be just dreams or wishful thinking. I want it to be reality, but I can't make it happen any more than I can make the moon rise.

But God can, and he is a God of beautiful miracles and if he wants me to live like this, I guess I will continue cobbling along and dreaming of the stars.  

I read Psalm 146 today. I'm almost through my read-through of psalms. Even though I've skipped some and also the entirety of that huge long psalm (I think it's 119)...I'll save those for another day. What book should I read next?

I love how when Esther gets "hurt" Becky makes a ambulance noise (neee-naaaah nee-nahhh) and pretends to doctor her all up. She just got knocked over on the trampoline (she's fine or she'd come get me) but she needed a big sister to patch her up for 20 seconds and now she's jumping in glee again. 

It's wonderful to watch her be 3.

Anyway, after all the sick yesterday Reuben noticed he'd lost his shoes. The ones I gave him. I was venting about it to three ladies at my church in a group chat because...those are my shoes. Yes, I gave them to him but also I wanted them back when he outgrew them and they were $200 leather barefoot shoes and now they are lost. One of the ladies said she thought they were at church and she would bring them to me after ladies bible study if so....isn't God's providence good? I was just mad but maybe his shoes are only at church. It's funny how things work out...

Do most 11 year old boys lose their shoes or is it just mine? 

Do most 11 year old boys wear their mothers shoe size? 

Reuben is going to be very tall, I think.

He started reading Black Beauty today, and though I know I read that book somewhere in elementary school I cannot remember a single thing about it. He says he knows it will be good because Charlotte told him it would be. 

Here is the only picture I've taken today--Esther this morning with her cowlick walking her pet yo-yo around the counter. 

I feel a little bit better. I think after I switch the laundry and remind Reuben to clean up his cookie-cooking mess, I'll play Stawdew Valley and hope my husband comes home soon...