everything I thought of in the past 24 hours

I spent today contemplating our schedule. We are doing too much and I knew it would be a lot: we have 2 piano lessons, karate twice a week and ballet once a week. Somehow its just too much...

We had decided not to do karate after 3 months (it's a 3 month commitment) but the kids wanted to so much so we signed up again. We are committed through January and then we will be done, because it just isn't working! Somehow this term of karate has been a drag for them. (maybe because the first three months it was new and exciting??) Or perhaps it is just that, with fall and winter heading in, we are all craving slower mornings? The home-school karate class is in the morning, so it makes two mornings a week quite busy. You add in piano and ballet and suddenly our schedule is packed! 

And I haven't even mentioned my chronic illness or the fact that I have a toddler...

I realized today that we hadn't been to the park in forever. It just seems so hard to fit it into our busy schedule! But, Reuben had a bad headache this morning and thought he was getting sick and thus we missed karate out of an abundance of caution, but he was fine after lunch. I think he didn't sleep well. Anyway we ran to the park and it was glorious! We spent 45 minutes playing and frolicking and with the fall temperatures and trees shedding their leaves...it was dreamy. Perfection. And good for family and personal morale. 

Today was the kind of home-school day that I dream about. We had extra reading time--I cooked and cleaned, Reuben got to play video games, Becky got time to craft for herself...she's making Christmas gifts for everyone! Oh, I'm so glad we get to have good days sometimes. Because yesterday was abysmal. One of my kids cried for two hours and they did not get any school done until the afternoon. I've learned a lot about tantrums, and I never let a kid waste my time (only their own)--so I did school with my other child while emotional turmoil was being processed by the upset one...and thus the child with the anxiety had to give up their free time to finish their school which is a perfect learning tool to help them understand that tantrums and anger have consequences. Also, we did not get to watch our movie yesterday due to the chaos of everything, which was another real-life result that no one likes, but that is okay. We all need time to adjust to things, we are all going through things, and we are all in this together as a family--but it was hard! I'm trying not to name names, because who wants their mother to talk about personal struggles on the internet? So I will be obtuse while also being honest. I love all three of my kids and goodness knows I have my own faults that they could tell you most lengthily about.

Growing up is hard. Being grown up is hard too. 

And it's just a universal truth that kids will cry during school, I am sure it happens in public schools too. School is hard. And everyone handles expectations differently. 

It's not that we don't try to have more good days...but I sometimes let the piles of laundry and the to-do list have more sway on my attitude/emotions than I should. And when you add in my chronic illness and everyone's learning struggles (dyslexia) it's just a whole basket of crazy! 

I lost whatever point I was trying to make.

But the day was beautiful and we all had a lot of fun and even took a walk, which we also haven't done in a long time. At least we weren't as beautiful as the day (if you know, you know) but I need to start adding in some of the things we love somehow...back into our homeschool. Trips to the park. A walk around the lake. Scooter adventures at home. Reading and cookies... 

I also wanted to say that cooking all these amazing gluten free things has been delicious and I've gained a little bit of weight from eating them all...usually I skip breakfast because I make something I can't eat, and I know intermittent fasting is good for my diabetes and then I also don't eat dessert usually that I make once or twice a week because I'm also allergic to it but now...I'm not! I can eat all the things! And I have! Haha, I need to cut back a little because I don't want to grow out of my clothes and I've worked so hard on my health to just throw it all away... Here is to finding balance again amid the gluten-free alpha gal free feast I've been preparing...

My heart is very full right now. During the writing of this post I have broken up three fights and eaten two chocolate candy cups. Yum.

I miss beef and raw milk. Oh, and bacon, but I gave that up a long time before...

I really hope acupuncture works for me this Friday! 

One of my kids is screaming so I better go check on that.

(She was being chased by her big brother and sister in glee. Yay.) 

Another Week

Well, we made it. Through another week! The emotional elasticity in our house was definitely tested this week, but here on the eve of the diabetic holiday of death I feel strangely content. 

I really loved the cookbooks I received last Saturday. We made three meals out of each one. Out of Nourishing Meals by Segersten I made blueberry teff muffins on page 145. I have made these before because this recipe is in her other book, Nourishing Traditions, which I cooked out of in 2016-2017 (ish?) and I remember really liking teff flour and that is why I picked it. I soaked the teff flour overnight in lemon juice and water to help break down the phytic acid and...one of my kids didn't like the finished product, but that's probably going to be normal in a family of five...at least it's normal in our family!

Everyone's favorite meal was Thai Curry from Pure Delicious (by Heather Christo). Yum. It was so good I added it to this coming week's meal plan! We also tried the chili from Pure Delicious (page 82) and the Quinoa Nachos from An Allergy's Mom Instant Pot Cookbook (by Megan Lavin page 27). But my favorite meal was the ratatouille that Lavin has on page 153. I am going to make that again too even though one of my children did not enjoy it. It was seriously easy and I ate the leftovers for lunch today. Yum! 

Quinoa Nachos. I put cheese on the kid's since they can have cheese!

Today we worked on decluttering a lot of the gluten in our house. I packed up a box of gluten-containing items and took them to my friend Julia who hopefully can enjoy them with her family, and I have two boxes to deliver to two more people tomorrow. We have a lot of wheat berries and leftover sourdough bread and organic all purpose flour and even some bagels and muffins I made that need to be given new homes...

Pray for our family as we continue down the allergy tunnel of doom that will hopefully be brighter on the other side...once we get our bearings and learn how to cook and shop and satisfy all the cravings... 

I am praying that my alpha gal can be cured soon. That will make meal planning SO much easier! 

Homeschooling this week was kinda hot mess, starting on Tuesday. I don't know what went on but it was just a struggle to get people to pay attention, soothe meltdowns and manage the toddler. On Wednesday we had a moment where almost everyone cried in the first hour! Homeschooling is just like that. Just like teachers have to deal with the emotions and inner-workings of their students, that is half (or more) the job of homeschooling mothers as well. Take it in stride and don't let it kill the joy and peace in your home on a long term basis, and keep remembering entropy exists for a reason.

God is good. Homeschooling is hard. 

Highlights of this week include the kids passing their belt tests at karate and graduating to yellow belt! And I got to hold my friend Mya's new baby girl again when I visited her on Wednesday...she fell asleep on me which was absolutely adorable. Baby snuggles are the sweetest.

I came home and held my own baby who isn't so little any more... but still just as sweet and dear to her mama...who also isn't as young as she used to be either. 

Here is to another week of allergy-free cooking, homeschooling, voting, and enjoying the fall leaves as they flame across America before winter sets in!  

Dietary Woes

I think what it boils down to is that I'm just afraid of change. I think that is why I have been resisting these serious allergies. I don't want to own six different types of flour or learn how to make gluten free sourdough. I want my body to just work like everyone else's bodies...

For a long time I was able to tolerate einkorn flour with no issues. Now when I try einkorn flour I get a massive asthma attack about 30 minutes later and inflammation problems, especially in my legs. It hurts. I have tried it three times over the past few months and each time the same reaction. Devastation doesn't begin to cover the scope of my emotions. 

Something changed in the last year somewhere and now I cannot have einkorn flour or einkorn products. I must adjust.

All of our cookbooks have arrived. I am starting at a tower of four gluten, dairy, egg and soy free cookbooks and hoping they hold the answers I need to organize my culinary woes.

Here are our allergies:

Me: Gluten, alpha gal (all mammal products including butter, milk, cow...even trace amounts)

Becky: Severely lactose intolerant. Chocolate, Eggs, Chicken and all bird products (like turkey) (and something else hurts her we have to figure it out....) Her allergies are all gut allergies and present as severe stomach pain, vomiting...you get the idea. It isn't "oh I have a stomach ache" it's her doubled over in pain crying and not able to eat for several hours bad.  

Reuben: mildly lactose intolerant. Anaphylactic to avocado, and raw banana (he can have cooked banana) and even someone eating a banana next to him can majorly bother him. He gets a tight throat, mild hives from beans, some melon, kiwi, and uncooked bell peppers and peppers of any kind. He can have cooked peppers. I have never tried to cook the kiwi and give it to him. He cannot have most beans but lentils and garbanzo beans are fine for him. He also has a latex allergy. 

Brian: severely lactose intolerant.  has the bean allergy but can do lentils. He can do garbanzo beans the first time I sprout and cook them but cannot eat garbanzo beans as leftovers. I don't get it. He also seems to react to tomatoes and chili powder... but says he loves them and please don't worry about it (I worry about it)

Esther: The pea in the pod who seems she is just mildly lactose intolerant. A blessing, a ray of sunshine in the midst of our sea of food woes. May she continue as thus and enjoy good health forever more. 

How did it get so complicated? I am overwhelmed just reading this yet here I am the nurturer and main cook in our home and I somehow have to make meals that deal with all of these things...good meals that nourish my growing children and also don't take up too much time because we are also homeschooling...

Anyway, please pray for me. The stack of books is calling and I am about to crack them open and make a meal plan for the next three days. We are going to start working through these books and attempt to find staples to sustain us.

The books I bought (from thrift books) are:

1. Nourishing Meals by Alissa Segersten
2. An Allergy Mom's Lifesaving Instant Pot Cookbook by Megan Lavin
3. Allergy-Free and Easy Cooking by Cybele Pascal
4. 150 Allergy-Free Recipes for Everyday and Entertaining; Pure Delicious by Heather Christo 

I'll let you know which one we like the best.

We have been gluten, dairy and egg free before in 2016 and 2017. We can do this again. It's hard, it is expensive and it's a lot of work but I know I can get in the groove and we can thrive. I just need to get there. We are no where near yet...

Here is to next week and new trends and...I'm about to drop like $200 on gluten free flours and rice noodles. 

I just want to know...does it get better? 

I hope it gets better.

Also isn't this coat (found at goodwill for $2.99 with the matching hat) for Esther adorable? She is obsessed and so am I.