Monday, January 1, 2024

A New Year

This blog has come a long way since 2010 when I was twenty-something and desperately trying to get into art. The years have gone by since then, and they have been very kind to me. After art, I have blogged through a really hard break up in 2012, meeting my husband, and our marriage. Our struggles with infertility, my foray into YouTube and knitting and crochet consuming my life... the birth of Reuben in 2015 and Becky in 2018. Covid. Homeschooling. Chronic Illness and depression, anxiety and healing (emotionally and physically) and Motherhood, Christianity and dealing with lifelong chronic illness...and now, surprise babies named Esther who are amazing. 

This year I turn 37. I will be 40 in three years! It doesn't seem that crazy anymore. 

Do I have any new year resolutions? Well, I would like to deal with my stress and enjoy this year. Even with a baby, a 6 year old and a 9 year old.  It's possible, right? Who right now are 8 months, 5 years and 8 years but all have birthdays next year. Big milestone birthdays! Esther will be ONE! Crazy to think, this time last year I was four-ish months pregnant and miserable with morning sickness--the idea of having a new baby a dim uncertain cloud hovering in my future. Now she is here, adorable and crawling everywhere (a day before Christmas she started that) and next May she will turn 1. God is good. And Becky will be six in just 23 days. A first grader this August. Reuben will be 9 in July and his last year as a single digit! They are all amazing and I am grateful to be their mamma. 

I have gained a lot of weight. I need to move my body and stop sitting around all the is hard in the winter. I am okay. Just fat. LOL.  It's true! But I try not to worry about it and just snuggle and baby, nurse, and enjoy life. I can lose the 30 pounds I gained later...maybe next year. Maybe not. 

I want to have a better quiet time with the Lord and enjoy my family. Those are my resolutions, because I really do have the best family. And I am grateful for each and every one of them... I am glad I got to spend 11 years of my life with Brian, 8 so far with Reuben, 5 with Becky, and an amazing 8 months with Esther Rose. 

Here is to 2024 and God's plans, not mine. Love you all.  

Wednesday, December 27, 2023

Christmas 2023

I wanted a break this Christmas, but Brian got the flu. It is funny (in an annoying kind of way) when plans go awry especially since I really really need a break and was looking forward to co-parenting for a week instead of parenting alone while my husband works (or in this case, sleeps and coughs). I am exhausted. I am waking up 3-4 times a night to nurse Esther still! The kids are amazing but the amount of noise and questions in our house is at max capacity, and I am touched out. But my children are lovely, my home is clean and we have food. I made sourdough bread yesterday and we had it for lunch today with butter, an orange, fermented pickles and slices of cheese. 

Brian has been coughing all night. I finally got him to nebulize some colloidal silver and of course he has been taking all the over the counter cough stuff from the walmart drug store isle. Poor Brian. I know he didn't intend to be sick all of his break but its is. so. hard. for both of us! I am not sure who is having a harder time: Brian sick in bed with his new Playstation 5 or me downstairs nursing Esther and cooking and cleaning. This is a rhetorical question and perhaps I am a little bit jaded. HAH!


Christmas was great tho. In past years we have been very minimal for Christmas but I guess something broke this year because we bought way too much and now my house feels like a department store. Oh, well. We are rapidly outgrowing our house and I don't know what to do about it. I have been asking to move for about 6 years and...we are still here. 5 people in 1400 square feet. And no privacy. We will declutter and downsize some more, I guess! Really. We are all in on top of each other. I need to find a better organizational system. 

Oh, here I am complaining again! Anyway. My favorite Aunt came to visit and THAT was perfection! She came even though Brian was sick and I have been praying non-stop she does not get whatever nasty virus he has...

Life update: We start our second term of Year 3 with Reuben next week! I have everything organized and ready... we got a new roof the week before Christmas too! It was $9050.00 from Cenvar, a local company. So far it hasn't leaked again so YAY. (but woah what a price tag) They messed up our siding and fixed it (also YAY) but also little bit (I mean A LOT bit) of stressful. We only have siding on two sides of our house because...we are putting it on ourselves and also have three kids and no, I don't know what we are thinking. Do you? 

Life is busy and hard. I bought this book recently to try and help. But I think I actually need this one too

Here is to a new year!!!! new year resolution is "survival". Cheers! 

God is good. 

Monday, November 13, 2023

Life and Other Things

I have been off the keto diet for about a month now. I have been eating sourdough bread, homemade sprouted biscuits, rice, enchiladas, beans, cake, bagels and roasted potatoes...and all the chocolate. I am now trying to find a happy medium where I can enjoy food but not overindulge... and achieve happy blood sugar readings of course! I haven't been tracking nearly as well as I should this past month, and I need to start being consistant. But yes, I am not going back on the keto diet for the future and I am excited to eat mashed potatoes and pie for Thanksgiving.  

We have been slowly healing here. Grief was still fresh for my friend Mandy when another friend lost their 20 week pregnancy, a little boy they named Silōam. We have been all grieving afresh for their loss of life on top of hurting for Mandy and Andrew. This friend (who lost her baby) has not posted publicly about it so I will keep that news to anonymous as possible. 

I have been trying to keep going and doing and seeing and taking my kids here and there but I am very excited for an entire week of nothing. That will be our Thanksgiving. We will have no violin lessons, no piano and no dance that week. And I can stay home and clean my house and nest and hopefully make some freezer meals and fall into more regular cooking habits. Oh, and a week off school. We are on Year Three of Ambleside with Reuben and he is on Term one, Week 12. 

Knowing how things really go...we will all be sick the entire week of Thanksgiving. But I hope not!

A year of keto is behind me. Nine months of pregnancy and an adjustment to a family of three. So many changes and many blessings and so many memories! God sure is good.

I would write more but I have to go hold the baby and play a game with the kids! Busy happy stay at home mom life!