10 Years Blogging

Well, I've been talking to the void of the internet for 10 years. In the course of 10 years, I've started three YouTube channels, two Etsy shops (one closed now) and begin making knitting and crochet patterns, and failed as a fashion blogger (something I tried 5 years ago lets not relive it). I've blogged through one awful breakup, one amazing marriage, two babies and autoimmune diseases. I've made friends.

Blogging does wonders for my mental health. I highly recommend it if you are a outgoing stuck at home person like me, looking for more creative ways to unburden your soul.

I thought since it was my birthday (last month) that I should take some pictures of myself. There are not many that don't include kids. I took these super quick while the kids played outside and photo bombed me. And I updated my site with them. It has been four years since I redid it, and it was past  time for sure.

Well, this is mid life. I am half way to 68. I have not become less awkward. That is really my only surprise. I thought at mid-30 I would be more poised, less two-left-feet. Instead I am the same awkward girl who perhaps has learned better to think before she speaks, but still says the weirdest things at the most inopportune time. If there is a class on tact and poise, I need to sign up.

 

So far I like my 30s. I have some aches and pains from autoimmune problems, but it is nothing like the debilitating pain I used to get in my 20s. I have found, for the most part, how to manage my symptoms of whatever-I-have. I wonder if I will ever know? And yoga really helps. 

Anyway, I have a few gray hairs that thrill me. I don't mind them at all, and am excited about getting more. Isn't that weird? 

I have wrinkles but they are those ones that come and go and only appear when I smile or am very tired. I am not very excited about wrinkles--but what can one do? It is a privilege to earn them, to be granted this long a life of three and a half decades. I am okay with it.

Most of all I love my family and the life we have created here. I am middle 30s, blessed, and happy. God is good.

Is Blogging "Over Sharing"?

When I first started blogging about my life I noticed something odd. Some of my friends, family, and even church members used the term "over sharing" when talking about and referencing my writing. At first I felt conflicted. Was I oversharing? Was this a bad thing? Should I feel less inclined to share intimate details about my own life?

I remember thinking about it a lot, puzzling over how I felt. I wrote a post called why I blog and about how I love to share experiences to help others know they are not alone. (note: I tried to find this old post so I could link it here, but either google is having an off day or I've forgotten what I titled it...) I also blog for myself, it's cathartic. And I don't have many inhibitions about sharing my own life. Life is life, it's messy and I won't pretend it's all smiles and rainbows. I don't mind showing the world this fact. In short, I love sharing, and that's okay.

But since coming to the above revelation, I've had more thoughts.

I've come to realize that the term "over sharing" is one people use when they are uncomfortable with what they are hearing and want to misplace blame. They read my blog, and see how much of my personal life I share. It makes them feel uncomfortable. But instead of realizing they should either avoid my blog or realize I only write about my own life, they misplace blame from themselves to me and tell me I am oversharing. So, it's all my fault. Except it isn't.

It would be different if I was gossiping about others, (as I should get others permission) but I try to write only about my own experiences, about my own self. 

After blogging for years (6 now) and hearing this "over sharing" comment, it's what I've come to realize. I am not over sharing. As long as I am comfortable with what I share about myself, and as long as I get permission when I share about others--I'm not "over sharing". I'm sharing. And if my sharing makes you uncomfortable, I am sorry.

This is my blog. And I share here.

My Husband Hates Social Media

My husband is always telling me to delete Facebook. It seems like since we met he has puzzled over my apparent obsession with blogging, Twitter, YouTube, and Facebook. As an introvert who works on a computer all day doing electrical and computer engineering, it must seem a bit odd to my husband when I actively want to spend time online.

In 2013 I did go ahead and delete my Facebook on request from my husband (and as a social experiment). I did see some bad habits forming, and to be honest the absence of Facebook impacted my life very little. I didn't miss it.

But I now have Facebook and use it regularly. As a stay at home mom and as a very vocal extrovert Facebook, Twitter, YouTube and this blog have been integral to my social life. It's really awesome that I can have a social life from my couch while nursing my 6 month old, and it has really helped with the feelings of isolation and abandonment I am dealing with after birth. It's hard to go places with a baby.

My husband still wants me to get rid of Facebook, but I think he understands more what a companion social media can be. And I am coming to understand how much more private and introverted my husband is-- so different from myself! He does not have Facebook, and I am honestly sure he never will. And I'm okay with that.

How do you compromise in situations like this? I think showing my husband that I was using Facebook, Twitter and YouTube in a positive way helped. I don't think it occurred to him that these platforms were anything but time wasters! I also make sure to limit my time on my iPad or desktop when I am hanging out with my husband. He sees me staring at my phone and immediately thinks I am ignoring him!

In this season of my life, I am very grateful that I live in the information age.

What about you? Do you see the positives in social media?

Internet Favorites

I don't have a lot of time to keep up with bloggers lately. Here are my favorites--even through I miss many posts, I try to read at least one of their blogs a week, usually while nursing.

My Favorite Bloggers

• Wool and Wheel - the only knitting blog I read. Also blogs about old movies, books, and dyeing/spinning yarn.  

• Addie Marie - One of the first blogs I ever started reading! She just started up blogging again after a two (or three?) year hiatus due to college (I think). Blogs about sewing. Wears handmade gold flecked pants that I envy on a daily basis. 

• Random Writing of Rachel - Expat living, fashion, and really random things. 

I actually met Rachel two years ago. She was awesome. It was awkward, because well, um, internet-real-life meetings and I am a potato, but she was amazing. Wish I had more time to get to know her. In other news, it's best not to make a kidnapping joke when meeting an internet friend for the first time. (sorry Rachel)

• Michmash - blogs about her very humorous life, most recently about her cute little baby girl Gracie.

I also met Michelle last year as well. It was amazing and I probably freaked her out x1000 with my very extroverted self. Michelle I love you.

• Belle Brita - Brita blogs about life, feminism and also about current events. She's been to France and I like her fresh take on life as well as perfect spelling and grammar on her blog. (Rachel also has perfect spelling, don't think I don't notice Rachel). I aspire in that area.

I also met Brita this year (I really love meeting internet friends) and she was so petite and well mannered and frank and I wish I lived closer so we could have coffee weekly.

 My Favorite Vloggers

I also love watching vloggers on Youtube. Here are my favorites I keep up with.

• Texan in Tokyo - Texan married to a Japanese native. Does day in my life videos as well as other Japan related stuff. Very interesting, given the culture difference. 
• It's Me Anna E - Writer and weekly vlogger from GA. I met her too and you can see that in this vlog!
• Erik Conover - Lives in NYC, makes daily videos with his girlfriend, who is a full time model. Really interesting. 
• Loepsie's Theetuin - Vlogs from the Netherlands in Dutch (with English subtitles). Love seeing how her life is. She's a vegetarian too, and always shows her food!

Those are my favorite people to keep up with! If you know any vloggers/bloggers I should follow, let me know! I am always looking for new and interesting people.

I'm not the same

Lately something has seemed off. I've felt an itch, an itch that I've tried for so long to ignore. I am not the same person. It might be turning 30, or it might be having a baby, or it might be three years of marriage or a myriad of other things, but I have finally accepted this fact.

I don't fully know myself anymore. I'm not talking about the idea that of course everything is always changing, or the truth that I am a person who will always be becoming (because that is life). I'm talking about something different. Like a switch that has been flipped, only I don't know where or what. I can only see the effects.

The past few weeks I have not felt like blogging. At all. I read my blog today with the sense of déjà vu unrelated to the fact that I did indeed write all these words. It feels like someone else wrote them. Someone I am not anymore. I relate to her in some foggy sense but I am no longer her. The past few weeks even thinking about my blog made me want to do something, anything else.

And that is not me. At least not who I thought I was. I mean, everyone needs breaks. But this does not feel like a break to me. Who knows? I mean, I am not going to try and quantify it, because I am still mucking it out.

But I finally faced the thing that has been bothering me so much this month.

I don't want to blog anymore, and that is okay. It is actually not really that. I do want to blog. Insomuch as I want to feel that feeling I used to feel. Like I remember when I used to dream about blog posts and get excited about putting up pictures and telling my life story, and I mourn the loss of that feeling but I can't make it come back. It's just gone, like my pre-pregnancy waist and I am left puzzling over the remains of whatever I have left.

A few months ago I started wearing makeup. And I like it. (Me! makeup!) And, yesterday I got a job. (A job! Me!) Stay at home wife forever me. It's not a out of the house job, through. I'll be a consultant for Arbonne. I'm excited. You sell arbonne in spa parties, not on the internet so don't worry, I won't spam you. I am not about that.

Six months ago I never would have thought about myself getting a job. But I am happy. I am looking forward to it.

Perhaps that is the next chapter.

Anyway, I'm sure I'll blog again. Just not right now. Who knows? If you want you can still follow me on YouTube here..because I am still in love with vlogging.

Blogging about my Baby

So, as you know I love to blog. I really love it, I am not shy, and I don't mind telling people intimate things about myself. It does not bother me (usually) when people judge me, and I don't get embarrassed easily. I am who I am. I love blogging about myself and what I have learned and am going through.

My husband is shy, and he likes to keep his private things private. I try to ask him before I blog about something that concerns/relates to him, and 75% of the time he says he would rather not have whatever-it-is on my blog. (so many things I've never posted! Oh, the things you guys have missed). Sometimes, through he says yes, and that is thrilling! He's just more personal than me, and I try to respect that, even if sometimes it annoys me when I want to write about something...

That brings me to thoughts on blogging about my offspring.

Said offspring is still in my uterus, all comfy and cuddled up tight against my bladder poking his little hands into my belly and being all adorable and snugly. I knew I'd have to think about what I wanted to share with the world on my blog, and how much I wanted to share, and if sharing at all was even appropriate, because babies, unlike adult husbands, can't really give "consent".

I know I want to blog about parenting. I like being vocal about my life and blogging is really relaxing and fun to me. However, I don't want to embarrass my children. I don't want them to feel uncomfortable later in life about anything I've posted of them, and I also want to be able to remove any pictures or posts easily if they, one day, don't approve.

I can think of several things I did as a child and as a teen when I was learning about the world that if my mom had blogged about or told friends I would have felt not only upset, but betrayed by her. I don't want that with my kids.

After talking with my husband (who was against, at first, of even the thought of me putting a picture of our baby on the internet) I've decided to take it slow. I want to share my experiences but I don't want to put Reuben or any of my children in a compromising situation! I am Reuben's mom through, and I don't think sharing a picture or two or talking about breastfeeding or cloth diapering is going overboard. But it is true that many things will have to stay private, because Reuben is a minor and I don't wish to ever take advantage of that. He can't give consent. He would probably just tell me what I wanted to hear, like most kids do because I'm his mom and he trusts me. I want to honor that trust!

Anyway, what are your thoughts on blogging about offspring? I'd love to hear them. Honestly, I love reading blogs and personal stories about parenting. There is a time and a place, and they do help me feel less alone and cope on my own individual parenting journey. I'm just trying to traverse this topic myself and, boy, is it a little over my head.

How I make my YouTube videos

I've been making YouTube videos for almost a year and a half now! I love it. I'm no pro, but I have learned a thing or two in the past year, and I think my videos show a lot of improvement. Just watching some of my first uploads make me cringe... really! But it's the same with my very first blog posts from five years ago--I've certainly grown in that area.

This is how I make and edit my videos, as well as tips for beginners. Good luck!



If you have any tips for me, please leave them below. I definitely want to learn more about the wonderful world of YouTube!

Blogger Laws

Recently I noticed that there is a huge lack of knowledge about legal rules of blogging. I myself am at fault for a lot of these without even noticing--something I remedied asap when I found out about the regulations.

I started to be aware of these things by reading Belle Brita. She mentioned that you can't use follow links in one of her blog posts because it is against Google policy. I was like, what is a follow link?

This prompted heavy researching into internet laws. And what I found and learned was both eye opening and also annoying.

First off, I live in the United States, and I use Blogger (the Google service) to run my site. If you do not live in the USA, and you don't use blogger, some of these may not apply. Each "website service" like Squarespace, Blogger or WordPress has their own set of rules--on top of any laws your country or state has!

Now, I'm sure everyone knows that you can't steal someone's unique photos or words. I mean, even I know that I can't just Google something and copy and paste it on my own site. But beyond this universal copyright law (that a lot of people break anyway...) there are a bunch of other rules that are binding for blogs.

Specific Blogger rules: (policy can be seen here)

• Adult content must be clearly marked as such, and adult content can not be illegal in nature (think underage) and also can not be used to make any kind of money.
• All blogs with any sort of adult content (even if it is just one post) requires the entire blog to be behind a 18-or-over warning page. 
• It is against blogger policy to make a blog pretending to be another person. (satire is allowed)
• Did you know that blogger does not allow anyone to post a comment on another person's blog or site with the sole purpose of the comment being to promote your own site? This is part of their spam policy. 
• You cannot use follow links for paid ads. 

USA rules: (via the FTC)

• Your blog must have a disclosure. (if you are selling something, receiving something for free, talking about a product....you must have a disclosure) 
• If someone guest posts on your blog, you must have written permission from them stating that you can put their words and pictures on your site. If not, it is a copyright violation. Also, if a guest post uses a picture he/she does not own, you could be held liable!  (this is why I don't do guest posts)
• There are SO MANY laws about giveaways and sweepstakes and lotteries. This is why I no longer do giveaways. I'll let you research this on your own.
• If you have a mailing list, it is required by law to have a unsubscribe link in each e-mail.
• I don't quite understand fair use, so I only use my own pictures!
• You do have the right (by law) to blog anonymously. However, this does not protect you from being subpoenaed.
• You have a right to delete comments on your own blog. This does not violate anyone elses first amendment rights.
• It's good to know about the Section 230 ruling. 
• If someone comments on your blog: you need to have a comment policy that states creative commons under your comments. If not that person owns their words--making screen-shooting and re-posting their comment on your blog (I've seen people do this and "respond" to comments) potentially illegal!
• There are different rules for posting e-mails and personal letters from companies, individuals and corporations on your blog. I don't know the rules, so I would shy away from this. In my state is is illegal to film someone or tape them without their consent--but some states are different. Know what you are doing!

Anyway, there are probably a ton more rules, but this is as far as I've researched these past few weeks. If you know of any other links or laws please comment down below. I really want to learn and be informed.

The Dicotomy of a Blog Post

These are some deep feelings I'm about to attempt to explain in the next few paragraphs. I am not sure if I even understand the give and take read and write symbiosis of blogging.

I know a lot of people accuse bloggers of writing things to get followers, or writing things to get attention. Like when a blogger (such as myself) chooses to post about something extremely personal. I'll see comments like "you only wrote about this to get attention". Or my favorite "get over yourself, sweetheart". Usually I delete these types of comments (and I don't get that many), but recently it's got me thinking.

I don't want to write in a vacuum. I don't know any blogger who wants to write in a vacuum. The reason I have a blog and not a handwritten diary that I store on my shelf at home is because I like interacting with other people and forming online relationships. Furthermore, I enjoy raising awareness about many issues through my blog. Adding my voice and personal experience to issues that are important to me is fun. It's more then fun, actually. It's healing, wonderful, amazing, and interesting.

That's the give and take I'm talking about. It's like a pool. I write about my life. And I read about other people's lives through other blogs I follow. Take Mishmash, one of my favorite blogs. I read her blog because I like seeing through her eyes. I don't read her blog because I think she wants attention, and I know Michelle does not write because she wants attention. I don't know exactly why Michelle writes, but boy am I glad she does because her blog posts are some of the most literary pieces of enlightened humor that I've ever read. I've learned things about life from reading her blog. And you know what else? I feel like I've made a good friend too. My husband and I actually went up and met Michelle and her husband and hung out with her and it was one of the most awesome and fun days. She showed me around her city and boy was it confusing and I'm sure I stuck out like a awkward tourist with my camera and my million questions. Michelle was sweet and kind and well amazing, even when we both didn't know what to say to each other because I was like omg I'm meeting the amazing and awesome Michelle and yes I don't know what to say and I hope she likes me and does not notice that I am a flaming weird panda. It was that kind of day.

Okay, I think I lost track of my point somewhere. What I'm saying is every blog has a different agenda. Some want to reform the fashion world. Some what to make money. And yes, I'm sure there are bloggers out there that write for attention.

Personally, I write because I like sharing my story. And I hope you read my blog because you like hearing it. Or because you find it helpful. Or because you googled "sexy kitty girl" (actually, I take that one back. Those people only spend like half a second on my blog anyway. hah. Guess I'm wearing to many clothes for their taste.)

But there is this dichotomy, like I said. A blog isn't really a blog if no one reads it. All bloggers, I'm sure, enjoy the feedback they get from posts. And I myself enjoy the community of bloggers I've found here on this little corner of the internet. And I don't think there is anything wrong with trying to grow a brand or get more readers. It's when the idea of "getting more clicks" becomes greater then "creating good content and cultivate relationships" that I start to have a problem. I mean, we all know those blogs that get big and then are suddenly swarmed with ads, guest posts, and updates about all the amazing free stuff companies are throwing at them. Nothing turns me off more. I mean, I love a good review now and then, and I understand an ad or two, but the reason I come to your blog in the first place is to get to know you and hear your story and be a part of your journey. If you suddenly start to try and sell me miniature moose statues in every single blog post I can assure you I will lose interest quickly. And I won't buy a statue. 

Anyway, while I do like the attention my blog has brought to me, and the success I feel I have achieved, (I mean, I was on Good Morning America!! That was amazing!) I'm not writing for attention. I'm on a journey. I have thoughts, I have ideas, and I want to share them with the world. My blog has helped me both with emotional healing and in the area of friendship.

And I am so thankful for the opportunity to share with you all.

Writing Process

I was tagged by Brita to blog about my writing process. Thank you Brita, I love your blog and reading about Columbus really makes me want to come back for a second visit.

• What Am I Working On?

Right now I am working on To Many Things (hence why nothing really is getting done right now besides my anxiety...) I blog and am currently writing a novel on my blog as well called What Losing You Did To Me. I try to post a chapter or two of that every week. Writing a book is perhaps one of the most stressful things I've ever attempted to do. I will finish this book and I honestly don't think I'll do it again.

I also write knitting and crochet patterns for a living right now. Every month I try and publish one free pattern and one paid pattern to my shop. If you knit or crochet, you can find my patterns on Ravelry.

• How does my work differ from others of its type/genre?

This question is kind of hard. I just love to create things. I don't know what is different about my work. I suppose it's because these things are created by me, not someone else. As for blogging, I love telling my story--and I'm not afraid to talk about my faults and shortcomings as well. I want people who read my blog to see the full picture of who I am. I have an interesting background, a good mind, poor spelling, and I love to meet and interact with people. My work is different because I am a unique person--in a pool of others, yes, but with my own eyes and my own voice.

• Why do I write what I do?

I write stories because they keep me up at night with their tales and I feel I would do them a great disservice to keep it all bottled up where no one else can experience the world within my world. I write knitting patterns because I hope to one day operate a successful pattern company and help people make neat things. And also because these ideas come to me. I will dream of new things to knit the night before and I have a list a mile long to complete. I wish my hands were faster.

And I blog now because my story is important. As a women, whose voice can be lost in a world that has long been man-dominated. As a Christian woman who lives in a world where people understand less and less of what we believe and stand for, causing a lot of misplaced hatred to arise. There is so much out there about Christians that is so false. It is very sad when those who are ill informed bare grudges against Christians. I want to change that, at least a little bit. (And truth, many do horrid acts in the name of "Christianity"--this is even sadder...)

But mostly I just write because I am driven to. This is my 800th post.

• How does my writing process work?

Well, if you can ever figure out how this thing operates please let me know, because I have no clue. It just works sometimes but other times I have to think really hard and each word takes a lot of effort. And many days the words won't come at all and I get scared they will never come again.

Thank you Britta for tagging me! This was an soothing and introspective blog post to write. If anyone else wants to answer the questions please do so. You are supposed to 3 tag people who then are to answer the above questions and link back to whoever tagged them. If I could I would tag Breenah (lifestyle blogger whose curly short hair I adore) ModaMama (fashion blogger and silly storyteller) and Sew Technicolor (vintage film lover and fellow yarn enthusiast). But you guys don't have to do this, just if you want too...or are in the mood!

Road Trip

I recently went on a road trip! My husband and I wanted to visit his grandmother--she is in her 90s and still very active! We went hiking while there, also visited her church and met a ton of relatives!

She does not know what the internet is, so out of respect for her I won't be posting a picture of her actual face on my blog, since I didn't ask/explain about it.

We also met Michelle on our way up to visit! MICHELLE IS AMAZING CAN I COME LIVE WITH YOU? Except she's married. And so am I. Sad days. Maybe in another life?

epic pictures of epicness

On our way back from visiting the grandmother, I met Rachel and her husband Angel. Rachel is so sweet, and it was great fun visiting and talking about different countries with her. She's moving to China soon to teach English, so I wanted to see her once before she left!

 

All in all this was an epic, amazing trip. I ate to much fast food and bought to many books, and met two of my favorite bloggers! Here are some highlights:

at a shopping mall. what is this? and why is it $30?

beach kisses

exploring downtown Columbus

water + Rachel

Michelle showed me the MOST awesome bookstore ever

obligatory husband photo

Anyway, upon our arrival home Brian tried to wash all the pollen and dust off his car (using an outside spigot) and a pipe burst under our cabinets. You can't really see it because we were in panic mode and I didn't take picture until most of it was clean, but yeah. You get the idea. My kitchen is a hot mess right now.

How was your week? Mine was so awesome. Minus the leakage, of course!

Blogging Confessions Tag

Oh Whimsical Me tagged me in this blogging "confessions" post! 

1. When did you first start blogging and why?

I started blogging a few years ago to chronolog my sewing. I wanted to see myself improve... Since then I've learned knitting, made friends, and used this blog to deal with some hard life questions.    

2. Have you had any past online presence?

I had a LiveJournal a long long time ago. I don't even remember my user name.

3. When did you become serious about your blog?

About a year ago, I began to realize my blog could be so much more then just a history of my sewing adventure. I branched out into sharing my own personal story--I wanted to encourage others who might have gone through the same things as me.

4. What was your first blog post?

It was a post about a watercolor picture I recently painted.

5. What have been your biggest challenges blogging?

I've gone through many challenges through the seasons. First, finding time to blog with my full time, third shift job in 2010 and 2011. In 2012 I encountered another challenge when I got married and found that my husband did not quite understand blogging. He was worried about all the personal things I was revealing online, and how they would affect us and his family. We had many conversations, and I almost stopped blogging. At first I felt my husband was taking away my one love, my one outlet. I wasn't sure why I felt so upset when he would question my blogging. After many hard conversations where it felt like we were not connecting, I was finally able to explain that I wanted to blog because I don't want others to feel alone. I want to be there for them, and I want my story to be there for them as well. My husband was able to understand this. I learned that he just wanted to have input into what I put on my blog. Since my story now was so closely related to his, I had to realize it was unfair to post things abut my husband without his permission. We both learned.  

6. What is the most rewarding thing about blogging?

 Venting. Feeling like I'm not alone. It's funny how I can write a post and hope it helps others, and then people leave me comments telling me how my blog helped them and touched them, and then in return be helped by their words. My post "being a stay at home wife" is in the top three google searches for those words. I get so many comments from women who feel just like me, and it is so encouraging. Together, we can encourage the world about our choice and dreams!

7. What is the most discouraging thing about blogging?

The hateful comments. I've only had a few. It's not like they hurt, its just so bewildering. I think of myself as a very open person--I love discussing other viewpoints, and I don't like judging others. How does leaving a hateful comment help me understand what you disagreed with in my post? How does it open the doors to having an insightful conversation about our differences?

8. What is your lasting inspiration or motivation?

I don't really know. I get inspired by light or the leaves on a tree. I find motivation in the way the air moves in the morning when the clouds are just rising over the horizon. My husband's smile, full of warmth and love, also makes my heart soar. Knowing God loves me even when I don't understand Him and ignore Him helps me stand steady.

9. What is your blogging dirty little secret?

I'm actually really interested in reading others blogs? I don't know if I have any secrets about this blog. Maybe that sometimes I never know what to leave as a comment when people comment on my posts? A simple "thank you" seems trite.

10. What is your current goal as a blogger?

Grow as a person and encourage others.

11. Have you learned or become passionate about anything through blogging that caught you by surprise?

Blogging introduced me to knitting. And to...well, everything associated with blogging. I can't imagine who I would be without all this.

Blogging Advice

Here is some blogging advice I've picked up though the years--perhaps you will find it helpful? And no, this is not another blogging post about how to grow your traffic or gain followers. Because, lets be honest, those are a dime a dozen and mostly useless...

• Follow your own blog by e-mail. Why? Well, there are many reasons. My reason? Because sometimes I accidentally delete a post when I'm editing after publication. Also, because I use Google to blog, they can shut down my site without a by-your-leave (not that I think they will, but I don't want to lose my posts)
• Notice what you do on other blogs. Probably people visiting your blog will want to do the same. For example, I find that after reading a blog post, the next thing I do is click on their about me page. So, I made an about me page for Kitty Adventures around that time. If I am  interested in finding out more about the people whose blogs I read, then those who read my blog probably want want know more about me. Oh, and I always read their "suggested blog posts, like Michmash; and the posts she linked there totally caused me to subscribe. 
•  Make a specific time to reply to comments. Sometimes I get a really nice comment that I totally forget about because I wait a day or two to reply and the comment gets lost in my e-mail. I now have a day where I go through and make sure I haven't forgotten any. I hate it when I write my life story on your blog because it touched me and I never get as much as a by-your-leave...and I'm sure you dislike this also.

I can't really think of any other points that don't sound totally cliche. You know, like "have a pretty header" or "make your blog readable," and other lame things that no one really wants to hear... Does anyone have any blogging advice for me? Or site advice? I'd love a critique on my layout! 

How I met you

Ever wondered how I met you? Well, I'm going to tell you today how I found your blog!

Rennes: First blog I ever found. The reason I started blogging. I googled "leather purse" or hippie boho bag or something. Also, first giveaway I ever won was from her.
EvaForever: Found through Rennes
ModaMama- Saw your link on WWIW
The Random Writings- also saw your link on WWIW
Delirious Rhapsody- Saw your (multiple) comments on The Random Writings. They were interesting and funny. Clicked to your site and then I started making comments there.
Wifessionals- Clicked on an ad button on someone's sidebar (don't remember who...)
Typative Mama Cat- You started commenting on my site. I always check out the sites of those who comment.
Peace it all Together- saw your button on Wifessionals
Across and Down-again, saw your link on WIWW
Pop Champagne- Some random girl added me on G+ so I checked out her blog--it was terrible. So I went back and clicked on a random person on her G+ page, and it was you.
Oh Whimsical Me- Randomly surfing through Passion Fruit looking for swaps
My Little Mustache- Saw an article she wrote about her abortion story when she was 17 on the GWP
Vicki Sheehan- Met you and one of your daughters at a craft fair! Then bought one of your journals!
Sew Technicolor- Became your pen pall through Oliver and Abraham's 
The Contents of my Head- we had a similar Facebook friend. saw your post on her page about your blog. Clicked.
Kitty and Buck: Saw your ad on someone's sidebar. It had the word kitty in it--my blog is kitty-ears, so I naturally had to follow you.
Wellies, Crochet & Cows- I mailed you a book from my book giveaway blog post! 
Michmash- You commented a lot on The Random Writings.
Magical Daydreams: You asked to button swap with me (or I with you? can't remember)
Addie Marie: Found you through etsy, from that beautiful boho layered blue skirt you made. By searching "patchwork skirt"
Esther from the Sticks: Found you thought Addie Marie. She linked you in one of her posts, one time.
Color me Brave: Ahh! I can't remember. Do you?
Courtney Godby: Found your blog through your brothers, he had a link up one time
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I'm sure there are more, but sometimes I can't remember how I met some bloggers. Any of you know how you met me? Is it because I started commenting on your blog? Let me know! Even if you don't have a blog, I still think its cool when you tell me how you found mine. Like, I met EmmaRead through the Days app!

she said my webpage was ugly

I love color. Its fun. Its bright, and cheerful and full of something I can't name. It draws me in. I love putting a lot of color into my home, and its something that really attracts me to vegetarian food. Its usually so vibrant with fresh fruits and veggies.

My closet definitely reflects my love of color.

I made this shirt a long time ago--it was one of the first wearable garments I constructed all by hand, from drafting my own pattern to picking my own colors. And I love it.

I don't understand this new minimalist movement. A few days ago I was in a coffee shop, talking to a random 20-someting about the difference between Blogger and Wordpress. She wanted to start a blog, and was in a discussion with a male to the table on my right. I said, "Hey, I blog!" and she asked what platform. We had a little discussion about blogger, that ended with me showing her my blog. "Wow," she said, "It is so cluttered...I mean, so colorful. I'm definitely going with Wordpress now, they are much more whiter and open".

"Blogger can be whatever you design it as" I said quickly, pulling up Wifessionals, a blogging friend of mine whose design is very minimalist. My new coffee mate looked critically over the open page I showed her, and said "That's exactly what I want! Look, how cute! And trendy! And white. That's what a website should be." I smiled politely, and she walked off with her drink to another part of the shop.

Then I fumed a bit. I didn't like her critical comment about my website being cluttered. I like my site the way it is. Sure, it isn't perfect, and its not minimalist--but I'm not a minimalist. And I'm far from trendy. Don't get me wrong, I'm not bashing anyone who has a "minimalist" type design. I do appreciate those--and read several blogs that employ this style into their design. It's just not me. And I don't like the idea that there is only one way to be creative, only one way to plan a website, being circulated. I don't like being judged for a bit of color in my space. My blog is very much a lot of bits of me, fun and zany and colorful and loud all at once.

But maybe I'm reading to much into her words that she spoke about a site she only saw for a fleeting second. But I feel like she saw me walk past her and hated my outfit.

So you want to use your iPhone as a DSLR?

There is much debate over this topic. Can your iPhone match the picture quality of a DSLR? Does it have the editing power of Photoshop? Well, obviously the answer to both those questions is a big fat no, but that aside your iPhone does have an amazing camera and you can do 99.9% of anything-- meaning, almost everything with it. I wouldn't recommend using it as your main source for photographing a wedding--but I would say the iPhone can do many things for everyday purposes, like blog photos or facebook photos and even marketing photos, like Etsy--and that it does these things very well. I would argue that if your doing it right only a professional will be able to tell the difference between your iPhone photos and say, someones DSLR photos. Oh, and did I mention it fits in your pocket, which is more then I can say for your DSLR.

First thing I would say about your iPhone is that different apps do different things. Many times I will shoot, edit, and decoupage my pictures using a different app for each step. I've downloaded all sorts of different photo apps, and I have a pretty good idea of what works and what doesn't, and for what.

A DSLR really does one basic things--it shoots pictures. Then you have to edit them on your computer. A iPhone shoots and edits, all in a few moments. So, how can you use your iPhone as a DSLR? Very carefully, of course, and utilizing the apps I show below.

When I am taking a picture I use the basic "Camera" App that comes on every iPhone. If I am shooting a self portrait, I use a tripod and an App called King Camera. I use King Camera because it has a timer function built in. This means I can set my tripod, hit the timer, pose, and have it take a picture. King Camera has editing parts to it also, but I've never once used them. I only use it for the timer, and its the only app I've found that has a timer. You can set the timer from 5 to 30 seconds.

For editing a picture I use two apps depending on what I'm looking for. I use VSCOcam and Mystic App. These two apps have all the filters and light-and-texture tweaking functions you could ever want this side of photoshop. The only downside is that Mystic App will only allow you to create square photos. VSCOcam allows any size. 

After I've filtered the bananas out of my photo, sometimes I want to add text. The best text adding apps are Piction and Textmask. Textmask is unique in that it obscures the photo and shows only the text. Piction has the most amazing fonts, and you can add/change shape/size and color of the font(s) of your choice.

To frame my photo I use Moldiv. It creates these lovely square/framed photos you see above and below.

And that, my dears, is how you use an iPhone as a DSLR. It really can take amazing pictures and do almost anything with the right apps. What apps do you use? Please tell me--I'm like a photo-app-connoisseur. Seriously. They should pay me for this. 

Let's Talk About Advertising

Why does advertising cost money?

I've read a lot of bloggers lately "bashing" others who choose to have paid advertising (via passion fruit, or other sources) on their blog. This got me thinking, naturally (as well as a bit peeved).

A lot of people don't understand advertising and why it should cost money.

First of all, when you purchase an ad on a fellow blogger's page, or a site--they are sending their clicks to you. Someone might click on their site, see your button, and click over to your page. This person might never return to the site where they saw your button. When you buy a sponsor spot, you are paying that person to send their visitors to you. Now, I spend a lot of time on my blog. I enjoy my readers and their feedback. If I'm going to have your button on my site, and potentially send visitors your way, then I deserve to be compensated for that.

Second, when I pay for advertising, there are perks that come with it. For example, a few months ago I bought one of Rachel's ads. Rachel tweeted many of my blog posts as well as linked some of them in her own writing. She spent some of her personal time promoting my blog. And well, time is money people. There is nothing wrong charging for it.

Great Bloggers to Advertise With:

• The Random Writings--Very small section of ads allowing yours to stand out. Also links your posts in her own blogging. 
• Delirious Rhapsody: Does weekly post featuring a link of her choice from your blog. Very friendly--always posts on your blog and leaves very personal and thought provoking comments! Ads on both sidebars and spaced out cleanly. 
• Discovering Simply Me--Offers large ad space for swaps. Always replies to e-mails and tweets a ton, very friendly!
• My Billie Designs: Offers very large ads (largest that I've ever seen on the web)
• Oh Whimsical Me: Offers only swaps right now, three different large sizes and extremely cute website, very professional.  
• Wifessionals: Super nice blogger! Lets you guest post, tweets your posts daily and gives great blogging advice!

My criteria:

• I love bloggers that have large swap ads. I usually swap with a blogger before purchasing a paid ad on their site. If you only offer a tiny 50x50 ad in a sea of 800 other ads, I don't return. My swap ads are huge and I expect yours to be of similar size to what I am giving you.
• Pick a site with a similar (but not exactly the same) demographic as you. For example, my site probably would not do so well on a blog about politics, or gardening. I tend to advertise with fashion, DIY, christian and/or lifestyle bloggers. I try not to advertise with other etsy shop owners who sell similar items as me--that's just not fair to them or for me. 
• I like bloggers that don't have a billion ads. Those that have 6-10 are my favorite. The more buttons on their site, the more my button has to compete for clicks. If I'm going to pay for a spot, you better bet I'm going to pick a site where my ad will stand out

Who do you advertise with? Do you pay for it? 

Who I am

I was thinking of this post last night, trying to think of how to put it into words. When something seriously bothers you, it can be hard to talk about it without coming across as an angry zealot.

What I'm talking about is the mean, abusive comments I'm seeing on mine and other's blogs. Why is this happening? Why do random people act in such a presumptuous way? 

seriously. 

I'm here to say: you should never bash someone on their own personal web site. There is a definite line between leaving your opinion, filled with thoughts from your own experiences and drawn from your expertise in a particular subject and from all out bashing and name calling and telling someone they are stupid or wrong or evil.

I've read blog posts that I've disagreed with--and I've read blog posts where I thought I disagreed, but later found out I was misinterpreting their words. Usually, I send these people an e-mail where I politely explain my ideas, or my outlook on their subject. If I disagree I never leave a comment stating that on their blog.

I use the "E-mail System" for several reasons.

• The person whose blog I'm reading (and disagreeing with) is a person. They have thoughts and feelings and I know they probably put a lot of time and effort into their blog post. I think it is very  disrespectful of me to bash them "publicly" on their blog. 
• I've found, sometimes, that what I think someone is saying is not what they are saying. Sending them an e-mail is the best way to find out the exact point they are trying to make. For example, I recently read a blog post by a individual who lives a gay lifestyle. He was really upset over an interaction between him and a christian coworker. His blog post came across to me that he was saying  "All Christians are evil and hate gay people". So I sent him an e-mail apologizing to him, telling him that I am a Christian and I don't hate him, and explaining to him that not all of those who profess to be Christian hate gay people. Well, he really respected my e-mail, and in short he replayed that his post was mostly about "I had a bad experience with one person who professed to be a christian and am blogging about it for personal, awareness and/or marketing reasons". If I just left a scathing comment on his blog about how I am a christian and I know what is what, then I'm just making myself look like an arrogant prick and I am not showing tact toward him. 
• Leaving a mean blog comment is just, well, mean. The blog you are reading is not your blog. How dare you tell someone that their experience or life choice is wrong? I understand speaking from your own repertoire and encouraging someone in a loving way. But bashing them? On their own blog? I can't understand why anyone would do this.

I'm sure all of you have dealt with this in one way or another. I just wish the people who are leaving these types of comments would do so un-anonymously so that I could talk to them. And ask them why. Or explain why what they said is not what I was trying to imply. 

My Breakup with Facebook

So, I decided to get rid of my Facebook. Both personal and shop Facebook have been deleted. Now, I didn't make this decision because I think Facebook is wrong, or terrible, or because I'm tired of the drama that I see on there. I've really enjoyed using Facebook for marketing and for social reasons.

So why did I delete it? Well, I found that its irrelevant to my life. Facebook does not help me become a more loving person. I don't see any benefits from using it. You may feel differently,  but these are just my thoughts and feelings. I've had Facebook since I was 17, and it has just outlived its usefulness. I'm tired of knowing my third cousin is having Mcdonalds with his girlfriend...I don't care that the girl I used to know (sort of) in highschool got her hair done at ChaChas last friday...

I also felt like I had spread myself to thin. Twitter, Facebook, Blog, Etsy--so many mediums that I am supposed to be using daily to interact with potential customers.  One of them had to go. I felt like Facebook was the one that took up most of my time, and not just marketing time--personal time also, because I have a Facebook for myself. The time I was spending updating my corporate and personal FB accounts was not paying off--no customers, no deep relationships have been forged in the two years I had my Silver Moon Creations account. And honestly, once I started this blog I updated less and less.

How I was using Facebook just felt so unnecessary to life, so I deleted it.

Another reason I decided to get rid of facebook was the drama it was creating in my marriage. I almost didn't talk about this but its so relevant! When Mr. Adventure and I were married, he didn't have a Facebook, and hadn't had one for three years. He didn't want me to have one either, for a reason I couldn't fathom. I mostly ignored his requests to delete my account, and wrote him off as "one of those social-misunderstanding men" who just didn't understand the "wonderful reasons I used needed Facebook".

We then decided to compromise and make my Facebook a joint account so he could participate also. For some reason through, I really disliked sharing what I considered "my" Facebook. Cue discussions like "why did you make my status say "Tacos"? Him: "Its our status. And we are eating tacos." Me: "You can't have a status that just says tacos!"

To make a long story short, I finally decided it was in our best interest to just close down the account. Maybe one day I'll reopen it again; but when social media becomes an object of stress it needs to go.

How do you feel about Facebook?

No More Anonymous

I'm not going to be allowing "Anonymous" or "name/url" comments on my website anymore. I'm not trying to be mean, but I'm just tired of getting dozens of e-mails including comments like this:

For those of you that legitimately use this feature, I'm sorry!