Life with Three

Life with three, homeschooling and cooking mostly from scratch is wild. And I love it. And I get overwhelmed every day. I have no time for friends. I tried a garden this year but quickly abandoned it and have decided I will not garden until my youngest is 4. It is impossible. 

The older two did take over the gardening and we have been getting things out; tomatoes and squash and jalapeños and strawberries and snap peas...but they do it all. 

I quit the internet for a long time. It was good for me. I desperately needed to reduce the amount of things in my life. We also quit ballet. The last year and a half of ballet for my older two was so much fun, but the studio closed (the owner is moving) and we need a break. I also quit taking violin lessons. I need a break. I love the violin still but lessons, like gardening, will have to wait until all my kids are over 4.

I am busy every day. I have Reuben finishing up Ambleside Year 3 right now, we are on term 3. Becky just started Year 1 and Esther...Esther is either throwing a fit and asking for milk right in the middle of reading or climbing on something she shouldn't be on. It is a crazy time. There are dishes and hungry tummies and after school I made a pot of tea, shoo the children outside (or to their rooms) snuggle up the baby and try to read my bible. 

I turn 40 in two years. I have started practicing saying I am almost 40 to everyone who asks my age. It is strange to hear those words from my lips. My husband turns 40 next March. 

My chronic illness, that was in remission before my pregnancy with Esther is turbulent and excessively irritating. A few times I literally thought I was in my last week of life. I prayed and prayed--I want to see my children grow up. I want to be there when my babies have babies. I want to enjoy my golden years with my husband. 

Managing my health and continuing to homeschool has made a box out of my life. Most everything, from going places to grocery shopping, I need to say no too. But there is so much joy and happiness as I read to my kids and try to feed them good wholesome food-- and I have been trying to go to the natural path as often as we can afford it. I am on a ton of supplements. They are keeping me functional. I am on the keto diet again per my natural path's recommendations. I am trying to do all I can. I pray for healing and for God's strength through these lingering trial. 

Reuben is 9 now. He's begun the start of correcting his parents. We just laugh and let it go. He is very smart and has such a kind heart. He loves Minecraft, nature, climbing, origami and ice cream. Becky is 6 and she was so nervous to start school. She is a natural narrator and loves anything art; drawing and painting and perler beads. 

Esther is 1 and the gem of the family. She loves throwing her food on the floor and biting me while nursing. We all love her to pieces and I can't wait for her to sleep though the night and in her own bed! She is wonderful with her beautiful head of curls and intelligent eyes. 

That is really what life is like right now. Managing kids, homeschooling, knitting and crochet in the gaps if there are any. Dishes and laundry and trying to brush my hair and help Becky with hers. A crazy wonderful beautiful life, and I thank God for every minute of it. 

(Also, I did get my book back up and need to edit it...but its up now!)

Life and Other Things

I have been off the keto diet for about a month now. I have been eating sourdough bread, homemade sprouted biscuits, rice, enchiladas, beans, cake, bagels and roasted potatoes...and all the chocolate. I am now trying to find a happy medium where I can enjoy food but not overindulge... and achieve happy blood sugar readings of course! I haven't been tracking nearly as well as I should this past month, and I need to start being consistant. But yes, I am not going back on the keto diet for the future and I am excited to eat mashed potatoes and pie for Thanksgiving.  

We have been slowly healing here. Grief was still fresh for my friend Mandy when another friend lost their 20 week pregnancy, a little boy they named Silōam. We have been all grieving afresh for their loss of life on top of hurting for Mandy and Andrew. This friend (who lost her baby) has not posted publicly about it so I will keep that news to anonymous as possible. 

I have been trying to keep going and doing and seeing and taking my kids here and there but I am very excited for an entire week of nothing. That will be our Thanksgiving. We will have no violin lessons, no piano and no dance that week. And I can stay home and clean my house and nest and hopefully make some freezer meals and fall into more regular cooking habits. Oh, and a week off school. We are on Year Three of Ambleside with Reuben and he is on Term one, Week 12. 

Knowing how things really go...we will all be sick the entire week of Thanksgiving. But I hope not!

A year of keto is behind me. Nine months of pregnancy and an adjustment to a family of three. So many changes and also...so many blessings and so many memories! God sure is good.

I would write more but I have to go hold the baby and play a game with the kids! Busy happy stay at home mom life!

I started Keto again and other problems

Well, I wasn't able to stay off the keto diet but a week break was just what I needed. My blood sugar wasn't good and being postpartum as I am I didn't have the headspace to figure it out. I will wait until the baby is a bit bigger and I have more time to do this. My blood sugar was around 160 a few times after eating and that isn't good enough for me. I require under 120 to quit keto and it wasn't happening. Yes, I was disappointed. But it is okay! 

We have started third grade with Reuben (8) and Kindergarten with Becky (5). Esther is just there in the middle of it all wanting milk and being cute. I am completely breastfeeding now, no more pumping. It is like the end of a long nightmare and I don't even want to remember the first 9 weeks of Esther's life. I love her, she's perfect, it's not anything to do with her. It is all the things that happened and being scared I wasn't making enough milk and trying to feed everyone and cope with my husband's sudden anxiety and health issues that cropped up right after she was born. That was a long sentence. 

I've started trying to knit again and pick up a few of my hobbies--mainly violin. 

Husband has been working like crazy and it has been really hard. Then we found out this week we have bats AND hornets living in our house. 

I'm not making that up. We have a lot to fix this weekend and I feel quite overwhelmed.

I love Ambleside online for our school. It's life giving and we all are nourished spirally, mentally and emotionally as we read together. 

I need to figure out how to cook with an infant. And communicate better with my husband. And exercise. It's impossible! My house is a mess. 

Adventures in High Blood Sugar

Since my gestational diabetes diagnosis I check my blood sugars once or twice a month to make sure they are on track and that I am not developing type two diabetes. The last two months they have been high. My highest reading was 185 but I was consistently getting 165 and 155 two hours after meals. That number is supposed to be under 120. High blood sugars damage your organs and decrease your lifespan. I want to live as long a life as I can and I like my organs working at 100%, thank you. Having these high numbers has caused me a lot of stress in the last two weeks as well as panic and depression. I am working so hard and doing so much to help manage my autoimmune problems and adding one more like type two diabetes to the list felt like a weight I could not handle.

I have a very knowledgeable Type one diabetes friend and couch who helps people with diabetes and fitness in general, so I booked a 30 minute call with her. I knew I needed outside help. I was exercising 40 minutes a day minimum and eating under 150g carbs a day (half the recommend American limit) with plenty of organic veggies and fruits. This is what I had been doing since I quit keto when Becky was 8 months old--and it had been working for me just fine. Until now, that is.

Becky, 18m old

I went into the call feeling helpless and lost. I came out of the call with a plan! I decided to go down to 50-100g carbs a day, add some strength training to my workout (previously only yoga and walking) and make a food diary so I can see what foods are "problem foods" for me. I went sugar free (except fruit). I had been consuming some honey and some coconut sugars and I've now switched to stevia and monk fruit to sweeten things if I need it. It has been two weeks and my sugars have not been over 110 two hours after eating. I am thrilled!! I really don't want to eat keto again--I would miss foods that I love. On my modified low carb "diet" I can still eat potatoes and beans--two of my favorite foods!

I did find a lot of problem foods that I have cut out. Rice is one--it elevates my blood sugar like nothing else. So do all the gluten free flours like buckwheat and sorghum that I had been baking with. I have switched to just using almond flour and coconut flour with maybe a tablespoon or two of gluten free flours to make it taste more like the "real" thing.

In the last 10 years I have changed up my entire way of eating many times. I went vegan first, gluten free, dairy free, paleo, keto... every time I make a change it is so stressful for a week or two (or three!) while I figure it all out and see if it is right for me. My body is changing as I age and especially after pregnancy! I am glad that I have been able to make elimination diets work for my health and the health of my family. But boy, it is hard.

This August we start Reuben's low key preschool program and this will be another change for our family that will ripple through the next 18 years of his life! Keep me and mine in your prayers and thank you for reading!

Diet Woes and a Health Update

If you have followed my blog for awhile, you know I have gut problems. I finally found a diet that works (dairy and gluten free, preservative free and low sugar) for my myriad of problems. I have a wheat allergy, a dairy intolerance, insulin resistance (prediabetic), and chronic constipation. When I don't change my diet I have the following symptoms: brain fog, joint pain, anxiety, tired all the time, constipation, miscarriages, sugar cravings, stomach pain, eczema, itchy flaky scalp, ear issues and low immune system. Wehww, even I am tired after typing all that.

Thankfully after suffering for years I know what to do. If you have followed my journey I tried a bunch of things and went to a lot of doctors (and got nowhere) before stumbling upon the paleo diet 5ish years ago. The paleo diet solved 90% of my problems. Than I went keto after that. Keto solved the problem the paleo diet did not solve: my brain fog. However, keto made my constipation worse. So still not ideal. Also keto isn't very fun and I didn't like it.

Now for the last 6 months I have just been dairy, preservative, low-sugar, and gluten free eating almost 100% from a cookbook called "Nourishing Meals". Eating this way solves all of my issues most of the time as long as I make sure to not eat a lot of carbs or honey (because of the diabetes) and exercise. I have to exercise twice a day, every day. I usually do after breakfast and lunch as these times are the easiest for me. That only leaves dinner, so I try to eat something low carb for dinner so my blood sugar is not high. I do yoga after breakfast and go for a walk with the kids after lunch (bonus: it puts Becky to sleep for her nap). I do check my sugars with my monitor, and if I don't exercise it is usually 140 or higher two hours after eating. That is not good.

I have learned that I can't eat out. Maybe once every 2-3 months. I also can't eat food other people make. Mostly because they are not gluten free and a tiny bit of gluten destroys me. And also preservatives, sugar, dairy... they can be hidden in a lot of things that someone without my range of issues is not aware of. "Person A" can tell me "its gluten free" but the last thing they cooked in the dish had gluten in it, so I'll be in a world of pain. I have two good friends who are also gluten free and I do eat after them, but I am no longer going to eat anything after anyone else. It makes events hard sometimes. And it makes people bringing me meals almost impossible. 

It does not help that Reuben seems to have inherited a lot of my issues. Poor kid. Sometimes when he tries a new food or has a lot of new things he gets sick and throws up. I don't think even he understands it. Becky does not have any issues that I have noted thus far, and I am so happy for her! I never wanted to pass on my health problems to my kids, but like everything else I don't get to choose. It just happened. At least I know how to help him deal with it so he is not in a world of pain like I was in my 20s. 

I am very lucky that I am strong enough to babywear. I am lucky that I found a diet that works for me so I can function. I try to remind myself of this at potlucks where I can't eat anything or when someone offers to bring me food and I have to turn them down. My health comes with a price and that's okay. I have to make my health the number one priority so that I have energy and vitality to live. 

I am learning to make everything from scratch this year. I now make bread and all nut milk from scratch. To supplement for calcium, I eat egg shells (properly cooked). This week I am making sourdough (gluten free) and ordered a yogurt maker. I also make my own salad dressing, but I have only been doing that for a month. It takes a lot of time but I feel great. Preservatives do drain my energy and hurt my gut. So does soy. Those last two things are in most prepackaged foods, so I try my hardest to avoid them. Bonus, we buy less plastics! Although that was not intentional!

How are you doing on your health journey, friend? 

Keto Breastfeeding and What I Eat in a Day

I was nervous when I started breastfeeding on the keto diet. Would I make enough milk? What if I had low supply? Luckily I make copious amount of milk and still breastfeed my toddler at least once a day.

Here are two videos: one of what I eat in a day while breastfeeding (Rebekah was two weeks old when I filmed the WIEIAD video) and one of what I do to keep my breastmilk suppy up while on keto. Hope they are helpful and informative to you if you are breastfeeding, or thinking about breastfeeding while keto! It's totally and completely safe and possible.

Keto What I Eat in a Day

I went keto for my gestational diabetes, and as I was struggling through the diet I couldn't find many what I eat in a day videos from people that were pregnant or that had diabetes. I wanted to show my meals to help others who might be going through the same thing--even if I suck at making videos and filming food.

Here are two what I eat in a day videos from the keto diet (I do lazy keto, the only thing I track is carbs, I stay around 30 net carbs a day) showing what I ate when pregnant and with gestational diabetes. I filmed both of these in my third trimester! The keto diet was amazing for my gestational diabetes and really helped me control my numbers without resorting to meds or insulin. I am glad I was able to stick with it!

One thing to note-- in the first video I call what is clearly thai red curry "green curry". Oops.

Dairy Free Keto Meals

I filmed a what I eat in a day video while I was keto, breastfeeding Reuben (he's two) and 36 weeks pregnant. All dairy free keto except for my salad dressing!

Gestational Diabetes, my story

I was shocked when my midwife said I failed my gestational diabetes test. I am paleo, have been for three years, and I thought this was healthy enough and low carb enough that I wouldn't develop gestational diabetes. I also didn't have it with my pregnancy with Reuben, so I didn't even consider the possibly this time around! Little did I know that gestational diabetes is majorly hormone related and not diet-centered!

I have an extreme fear of needles. Not only that, but I suffer from pregnancy depression and anxiety (as in, this only happens when I am pregnant). Needless to say it was not a good week for me. At all.

But this is my story. I went keto to manage my gestational diabetes because I want to avoid medicating myself if at all possible. And I developed some good coping mechanisms to help me with my testing fears. I hope these two videos will help with others with their own gestational diabetes diagnosis, or at least shed some light into what my journey looked like!

A Week of Keto Dinners

I eat a lot of different things on the keto diet but these are a few of my favorite easy keto dinners that I keep coming back to! Some are made by me and some are from others--I'll link where I can!

This is a really easy dinner. I take half an onion, and a pound or half a pound of ground beef or sausage and cook it. I add a bag of butternut squash risotto from the frozen section of our local store, and half a bag of kale or spinach, a dash or two of milk or butter, and some spices. Cooks up fast and is super yummy!

Something more "traditional" looking. Baked chicken tenders breaded in almond flour and nutritional yeast (I do a 1:1 mixture) and cauliflower mashed with salt, pepper and butter. Two low carb dipping sides. 

This is the keto egg roll in a bowl recipe from ketogasm. It's really good!

Green curry. Basically just green curry paste, veggies, chicken and coconut milk! Super simple and very filling. Sometimes we add cauliflower rice.

Taco salad. Taco meat in taco seasoning on top of salad, with everything you'd put on a taco. I use chipotle low carb dressing--so yum and spicy! My husband actually cooked this, so I am not quite sure of the process, but it was very very good.

A very simple keto meal of roasted (or pan-fried) broccoli and mushrooms with fish.

Keto ramen! So amazingly delicious and only took around 15 minutes to make, I'm serious! This is actually a whole 30 recipe but it's keto too. I found it on instagram.

What are you guys eating for dinner lately?