We made it! One more week (and maybe a few days more for Eldest Child) of school left. I feel a relief of the ages. Summer is just a week away (if I can cram all Reuben's readings into five days) and I am so excited.
I'm already making summer plans. Week one, wood burning. Week two, jewelry making. Week three, modeling clay. Week four, paper sloyd. Week five, book binding. Let's do all the things. I want to scrub my kitchen and read books and tie dye. Week six, tie dying? Maybe some gardening. I might just throw the gardening out the window and try again next year. I'm going to table that decision until school is over and see if my apathy is related to the load of education or if I generally don't care about growing vegetables this year.
I mean, my budget cares about growing vegetables but...do I?
We are reading Anne of Green Gables. I forgot how absolutely amazing this book is. Everyone loves it. Except for Esther who is now three and sometimes gets tired of mommy reading. She will tell me to stop because "I am giving her a tummy ache." She's being serious and I wonder if she understands why I can't stop laughing as she says this.
We just got to Anne going to Sunday school... I love how honest Anne is. I think I'd find her Sunday school boring too.
I have been kinda lonely lately. Life comes in bursts and stages and with us having to leave our Monday co-op (we left in January) due to it being too far drive and also due to dyslexia therapy...it's been hard. Then our Thursday co-op, which only meets twice a month, is ending next year. Well, it isn't ending so much as changing--they are going to do one field trip a month and I just know we are not in the season to do a big trip every month. Also, I was thinking of not doing it anyway because we meet once in town and once about 30-40 minutes away and it's been too much--especially with no air conditioning in the car. SO we have only been going once a month anyway when it's close to us and I just feel out of the loop and continually behind. The leaders of the co-op choose to have very little structure, which is fine if that is what they want (they had another leader last year who has taken a break who was very structured and I loved it!) but it causes me anxiety when locations/plans get changed last minute. It's a totally me thing but it's also something I take into account when making decisions.
Anyway, these changes mean suddenly we have no co-op and the kids only see their friends at church, which even for my introvert Becky is not enough. And for my extrovert self and Eldest Son...it is debilitating. We need to find a new friend group or some new friends for my kids. I am at a loss of what to do and praying about it. And no, the friends in our co-op do not come to my house and when I try to invite them places they do not come. Many of the ladies have teens and they either live too far away or are in different seasons. A few of them homestead too and no one has any time to make play dates a priority. A lot of them have family that lives locally and it looks like they have full, abundant lives. Brian is an only child (his brother died at as teenager) and thus my kids have no cousins, and we don't have large family parties or reunions to invite my kids too. It just is what it is and I'm not complaining but... I can't create family structure from nothing.
I just feel like this season of homeschooling is one of isolation and despair, and I'm praying I can find someone, anyone, who wants to hang out more than once a month! My kids would love some friends. I would love a friend who has more availability than once a month 3 weeks from now!
Case in point...I invited three families to come to Esther's birthday party. She wanted all her little friends from church to come...and none came. One didn't even bother to respond, another said they had been to three little hungry caterpillar birthdays before and wasn't interested, and another canceled at the last moment because she was too overwhelmed. I get that people have different priorities and things come up and life is hard but it is also tragic that no one was able to show up to celebrate Esther's birthday. It made me sad. It made Becky sad, she spent all morning decorating and setting the table and seeing both her and Reuben hang out by the front door waiting for guests to arrive hurt my poor little mama heart.
Today one of the moms said at church that they just needed a day at home...so sorry they couldn't make it.
Esther was fine, she's three, she had her favorite sister and brother there and she had a great time. After an hour and a half at home waiting for people to show up we just went to the park and let the kids play. We handed out the party favors (8 sets of butterfly wings) to little girls at the park (you know, so that...after eating all the hungry caterpillar food you too could be a beautiful butterfly) and seeing all the kids flitting around with wings was beautiful.
And I've decided not to be resentful at my friends who didn't show up. I never know what someone is going through unless they communicate. But I hope I can find some friends who will show up for me and my kids and will let me show up for them.
Oh, I have 600 more thoughts but the kids want to play a board game so...heading off downstairs to participate in Exploding Kittens, the board game.
