Friday, May 31, 2013

Who I am

I was thinking of this post last night, trying to think of how to put it into words. When something seriously bothers you, it can be hard to talk about it without coming across as an angry zealot.

What I'm talking about is the mean, abusive comments I'm seeing on mine and other's blogs. Why is this happening? Why do random people act in such a presumptuous way? 
I'm here to say: you should never bash someone on their own personal web site. There is a definite line between leaving your opinion, filled with thoughts from your own experiences and drawn from your expertise in a particular subject and from all out bashing and name calling and telling someone they are stupid or wrong or evil.

I've read blog posts that I've disagreed with--and I've read blog posts where I thought I disagreed, but later found out I was misinterpreting their words. Usually, I send these people an e-mail where I politely explain my ideas, or my outlook on their subject. If I disagree I never leave a comment stating that on their blog.
I use the "E-mail System" for several reasons.

  • The person whose blog I'm reading (and disagreeing with) is a person. They have thoughts and feelings and I know they probably put a lot of time and effort into their blog post. I think it is very  disrespectful of me to bash them "publicly" on their blog. 
  • I've found, sometimes, that what I think someone is saying is not what they are saying. Sending them an e-mail is the best way to find out the exact point they are trying to make. For example, I recently read a blog post by a individual who lives a gay lifestyle. He was really upset over an interaction between him and a christian coworker. His blog post came across to me that he was saying  "All Christians are evil and hate gay people". So I sent him an e-mail apologizing to him, telling him that I am a Christian and I don't hate him, and explaining to him that not all of those who profess to be Christian hate gay people. Well, he really respected my e-mail, and in short he replayed that his post was mostly about "I had a bad experience with one person who professed to be a christian and am blogging about it for personal, awareness and/or marketing reasons". If I just left a scathing comment on his blog about how I am a christian and I know what is what, then I'm just making myself look like an arrogant prick and I am not showing tact toward him. 
  • Leaving a mean blog comment is just, well, mean. The blog you are reading is not your blog. How dare you tell someone that their experience or life choice is wrong? I understand speaking from your own repertoire and encouraging someone in a loving way. But bashing them? On their own blog? I can't understand why anyone would do this.
I'm sure all of you have dealt with this in one way or another. I just wish the people who are leaving these types of comments would do so un-anonymously so that I could talk to them. And ask them why. Or explain why what they said is not what I was trying to imply. 


Rachel G said...

I once had a person send me an email rather than leaving a comment because she found one of my blog posts offensive. Honestly, I still think she was crazy for being offended--and I stood by my post and kept it up when she asked me to take it down. Probably the worst blogging experience I've had yet. But I suppose it could have been worse if she had commented publicly!

mesmire said...

i am an avid blog follower (of many many) i don't post comments on them often, i fig. most people don't read them or respond anyways. but besides that, if you are hatin' on someone's words why would you even leave a comment at all? just... leave the website. :P people are weird. i guess they think you will have an epiphany and suddenly change who you are to suit them? hah. uhmmmmmmm... ok bye.

Carolynn said...

Yeah people are weird! I do read all my comments and I try to reply but I'm sure I miss some! I totally agree hah :)

PopChampagne said...

yaaa that's why I only allow people with an account to post on my blog. If you're going to publicly dis me, at least show who you are! Too many people have the God syndrome when hiding behind a computer screen

Sarah said...

I think people get offended way too easily. And if they're mean and not giving a positive criticism, it means they're just bitter or angry in their own lives and taking it out on someone else. So don't take it personal! I think you are adorable!

Carolynn said...

Thank you :) your comment made me smile!!!

Carolynn said...

Weird what post by you could ever be offensive? I love your blog! People sure are strange

Joanna said...

I'm totally guilty of WANTING to freak out on other people's blogs, but I haven't in real life. It would be totally inappropriate for me to do that, so I either click away and move on with my life if I disagree with someone or email them directly if I have a question. There are some people who think that public "offenses" should be addressed publicly, but I don't know.