Adjustments

I think I am burnt out a bit from homeschooling. I'm feeling better and more hopeful mid-week today, the warm weather is making me smile. And yeah, mourning the loss of whole food groups (beef/dairy) due to Alpha Gal...is part of the process of acclimating to my new diet. The most important thing to remember is, I'm going to be okay. And I can thrive, I just have to adjust and get over the learning curve. 

Our dryer broke so I am enjoying hang-drying my clothes. I actually find this peaceful. Except our 200 cloth tissues--that's no fun. And, for some reason the clothes smell bad when I hang them outside. They may be staying damp too long, Virginia is very humid. Or maybe there is something wrong with our washer. I will clean the washer and see if it helps. Brian says he will try to fix our dryer this weekend and then I won't have to worry about smelling like algae...or old socks. Whatever it is? 

The kids are cycling through a little cold. No fevers, just sore throats and sinus issues. I'm giving Narayani War (1M) and also Narayani Sinus (30C) homeopathy to the kids, and our nettle/oatstraw "sick tea" and lots of steamy hot baths. For myself, I did two garlic enemas, sick tea, and fire cider. I also took the homeopathy but I forget to re-dose myself often...so I am not sure if one dose did anything. The garlic enemas nipped it in the bud for me in 24 hours! The kids do not want to try an enema, and I respect that. But I still tell them how amazing they are so perhaps they can do them to themselves when they are an adult.

For the kids, the illness seems to last three days, with the end of the first day and the second being the worst, with the third day a recovery day. 

I quit our Monday co-op. It was a great co-op but I can't do an all day co-op from 10am-5pm. It just won't work. I have tried to reconfigure our lives to get it to fit and it's impossible, especially with my chronic fatigue. Monday is the day I try to get as much done as possible to get myself set up for the week in case chronic fatigue hits and stays. Usually I don't have chronic fatigue Monday until noon, if it comes. Because of this, Monday can't be our busiest, out of the house day. It wrecks the whole week. 

The Monday co-op used to be only 2-4pm which was perfect. I’m sad they changed! We still have nature group twice a month, and church, and playdates…so my kids won’t lack for friends.

It's sad, but I have to make the best decision for our family. I know this is the right decision, even if it hurts. Reuben was a bit sad about not going back but Becky, my introvert, was relieved. And Esther really doesn't care...

Before we all got sick, Reuben learned to make a fire with a magnifying glass. All by himself. I was amazed! Here he is with his park friend who trumped him in chess just an hour before, making fires. And we did it safely, put it out completely before we left, and had a lot of talks about fire on the way home. So don't worry. 

God is so good. I'm making spaghetti for dinner--sans meat for me. I might make myself a salmon on the side...been craving it lately. I need to make sure I am getting plenty of calcium foods and iron. And I'm taking a really good supplement for both those...hoping it can help. I don't know how my body will do without its daily deluge of raw milk, but I am hoping I'll be okay. 

This weekend is Brian's 41st birthday and I'm so excited to celebrate him.

I Got Ahead of Myself

The highs and lows of a chronic illness are extreme. I was so thankful to find a cure for my debilitating allergy attacks, hives, asthma (I haven't used my breathing tea since I went mammal free) and middle of the night mild anaphylaxis...its been great. I definitely think I have alpha gal. 

But in my excitement I thought maybe some of my other symptoms might go away too and I find myself kinda sad today that I still have chronic fatigue. 

Today I went on a play date with another home-school mom, it was my first time meeting her and it was awesome. She has a 9 year old who loves to play chess and my 10 year old also loves to play chess. Her son beat mine three times! Reuben had a blast though, he wants to keep trying and playing. But there was my chronic fatigue making it so hard to concentrate. And hard to walk. And hard to keep track of my kids. I just wanted to go home. We stayed 2.5 hours and then I was a couch potato for an hour and now I am making roasted yams, fish and broccoli for dinner. 

I think chronic fatigue has been one of my hardest symptoms. It comes, and never with any kind of warning. It stays and then just disappears one day maybe for 24, 36 hours or sometimes a week. It always comes back. Sometimes I start the day okay and by lunch have chronic fatigue...

Today I am trying to focus on the good. I am better! Even a little bit counts! The hard realization that I am still sick is just life, and facing reality is better than trying to ignore it. My life won't look like the life of a person who is healthy. Not everyone is going to understand that, and that's also okay. 

I can still have dreams even with a chronic illness. They may be modified, slower dreams, but I can still dream them.

And I can still raise beautiful babies. God's blessings are so evident in my life. He is so good and he has been good to me, too.

What Chronic Illness makes hard: being intimate with my spouse, cooking, cleaning, parenting, homeschooling, going to church, volunteering, going out of my house, laundry, exercising, driving, moving, standing up, concentrating, singing...

What Chronic Illness doesn't make hard (for me): sunsets, warm days, reading books, listening to music, enjoying chocolate, smiling at my husband when he gets home from work, making lists, hugging my babies...

There is still joy to be found even in the hard parts. Thanks be to the Lord!

A Random Assortment of Updates

I forgot so many things at the store yesterday. Do you ever do that? Anyway, the kids and I were headed to a birthday party so I sent hubby to the store to get eggs, sour cream, and salt. Yes, we were completely out of salt. On a day that I also decided to make bone broth! 

Birthday Party Fun!

Anyway, its now Sunday and I just realized we are also out of cream cheese! We always buy cream cheese! Every week! What was I thinking? 

It has been a crazy 6 days. I don't know officially if I have Alpha Gal, but I really think I do. I suppose I should go in for a blood test to confirm my self-diagnosis. I think I have had it for a year. That was the first time I noticed having these awful allergies. My symptoms are random allergy attacks, like in the middle of the night sometimes! Asthma. Itchy throat, itchy ears, hives on the top of my mouth, stomach bloating and fatigue, constipation...when I have an attack of these, I usually am laid up in bed for a day. Or two! In the past month I have even had trouble breathing. I have been at my wits end to figure this out...

I also have other autoimmune issues like type two diabetes and IBS-C that I have had for years and years, but all the other symptoms that I listed above are new from the past year or so. 

I have now been mammal-product free for almost one week--I started last Monday--and I feel a lot better. My allergies are way better! I also feel less stressed about what in the world I am going to eat. Also, I was using a tallow lotion and tallow toothpaste and I need new lotion and toothpaste! I'm trying to read the ingredient list on everything that goes on my body or in my mouth. I just realized while writing this that I also own a tallow based hand soap...that will have to go.

We have a relaxed week of homeschooling coming up, and hopefully I can do some organizing. I need to make a list of home-school books to buy over the summer. I need to do some shopping for our summer plans--weeks spent by the pool! I want to get some snack containers and thin towels like turkish towels...anything to make lots of time spent in the sun easier. We also need to buy sunscreen, but we have two whole months until the pool opens to plan it out. 

Oh, and I'm also planning a garden. It's going to be great, I hope! We shall see...the garden plot is tilled and ready and now I'm just waiting on the weather. 

God is good and I am hopeful that as I continue to cut out mammal products I will continue to feel better...and better, and maybe I can have a summer with energy that is not spent in bed, or crying from allergies. One can hope?

I am content with what God gives me. Every day is a gift. 

I'm going to lay in bed and eat chocolate. 

Budget Feb 27-March 13 2026

coffee date from last week!

This month we did our taxes and got our tax return. It was $3,134 which was a huge blessing. We put $2,000 in savings and will be placing the rest (1,134) into our budget. 

Feb 27-March 6: Budget 1,567

• Pandora Subscription $13
• Trash $32
• Reuben Piano $120
• Tithe
• Target $160
• Goodwill $23
• Health Nut $17
• Kroger $66
• Gas $60
• Ice Cream $20
• Bakery Date $7
• Summer Hats $87
• Birthday Present for Daddy $60
• Amazon $105
• Keen Sandals for Becky $74
• Xero Shoes Sandals for Reuben $90

That brings our spending to $984 for this week, leaving 583 to roll over into next week.

We did all our spring and summer clothes shopping this week. We went to target and I got Reuben one summer outfit, Esther one summer outfit, and Becky two summer outfits. Then we went to goodwill and picked up a few other things...goodwill is by far better prices but sometimes you can't find anything. I think we did good! 

Becky needed a pair of closed toe sandals for summer. I'm a shoe minimalist, even with my kids. Each child is allowed up to four pairs of shoes. For them, I like to have a pair of closed toed sandals for summer, and a pair of open toed sandals. Then we always have a pair of church shoes (that also work for piano recitals) and a pair of boots (for rain, cold days) on hand year round. In winter we nix the sandals and add a pair of winter waterproof snow boots into the rotation. I do the same for myself. It's simple, and then because we are so minimalist on shoes I can afford to buy the barefoot shoes that help my kids posture... however, I could not for the life of me find a pair of closed toe sandals in size 1 or 2 for Becky, so I bought her a pair of Keen sandals. They are the closest to what I wanted that I could find-- I wanted a pair like this, zero drop and wide toe box. Hopefully Becky likes what she gets. 

Becky lost her hat last year and Esther has the same one, so I wanted to repurchase it. It's the butterfly hat from Sunday Afternoons. I also bought myself a straw hat. Mine broke last year, the webbing in the brim fell apart. It was sad. I bought myself this one in large. On Amazon, the most expensive thing I bought was this new piano book for Becky! This is the one her studio uses and thus, we need it for her piano lessons. I also bought a book for a friend, a cookbook for Reuben, a hairbrush and some hair headbands. 

I hope my husband likes his birthday gift. He turns 41 this year! 

March 6-13: Budget 2,150

• Brian Phone $35
• Internet $20
• Tithe 
• Raw Milk savings 50
• Becky Piano savings $100
• Azure $643
• Swimming $30
• Walmart $252
• Postmark $92
• Mommy Shoes $100
• Reuben next size up shoes $90
• Fresh Market bread to take to a potluck $23
• DMV $59 
• Home Depot $13

That brings our total spending to $1,557 for this week, leaving $593 left in our budget to roll over. 

What did I buy on postmark? I got Esther two cardigans. We looked at goodwill and target last week and there was nothing! I also got myself a 2 cardigans. I get cold in summer and I found I did not have what I wanted when unpacking my spring clothes.

The next item on my list was more shoes. I got Becky and Reuben shoes last week, but I had a few other items on my list--mainly a pair of shoes for me. Last summer, I really needed a pair of closed toed sandals and I am trying these Freet shoes from PedTerra. I have very wide feet and always buy the mens sizes so I hope these work...(they haven't arrived yet) I also saw while I was on the website that Reuben's Koel Madison sandals are being discontinued so I bought him a pair in size 39 for next summer. Reuben has a really high arch and very wide feet like his mother and...he also is prone to sweaty feet. He's wearing the 37 right now and I have a pair of 38s put up for him already but since we love these shoes I definitely want to stock up. He wears these sandals year round and I honestly don't know what he will wear when we can't find them. I love the Koel Madison sandals and I cannot find them anywhere to purchase in the USA in a wide variety of sizes...or any sandals that look comparable. Hopefully they will make more and PedTerra will stock them. 

What did I order from Azure? Oh, so many things! Einkorn penne, sourdough sandwich bread, brown rice, einkorn flour, sourdough spaghetti, frozen raspberries, strawberries and cranberries, paprika powder, smoked paprika, parsley, basil, garlic powder, lemon pepper, sourdough crackers, chocolate rounds in Mexicano, dark, eggnog, and salted, summer sausage, A2 strawberry yogurt, A2 vanilla yogurt, Bagels plain and cinnamon raisin, raw cheese, Lavender caramels, peppermint cups, and peanut butter cups. In total my order was 15 cases for 115 lbs. 

Remember in last week's budget I saved 100 for raw milk and 100 for piano and 100 for cognitive brain development? We are not moving forward with brain development and thus I will split that savings between the milk and piano, bringing those buckets up to 150 each. So now our savings buckets hold:

• Raw Milk $200
• Becky Piano $250

Our raw milk payment is due in April 2026 and piano is due in May 2026. 

On our credit card, we put Brians gym membership ($35, YMCA) and the payment to file our taxes ($185) which, total, was a little over $200...I need to keep better track of what goes on the credit card. We pay it off every month but since my husband has it, I don't usually think about what is going on it and I don't check it. 

Budgeting is never easy. What does your budget look like? 

More Thoughts

Today I decided to see if I have alpha gal. I will be giving up all dairy and meat products (except chicken) and seeing if I get better. If it is alpha gal, I am excited to find the reason behind all my increasingly bizarre symptoms. But I am also crushed, because I love cheese. And raw milk. And meatballs. 

Things have been getting worse lately though. I can't live with these constant hives, allergy attacks, fatigue, bloating, itchy throat and middle-of-the-night wake ups with severe runny nose and hives anymore! If this is the reason cutting out all meat and dairy should help me feel better. 

The kids are currently watching pepa pig and I'm trying not to panic over changing our whole eating habits again... what will I eat? I love vegetables, but I know I will miss a lot of dairy...how will I get iron if I really have this disease? I am not sure. But I do trust God! We have a whole day of homeschooling ahead of us and I need to go shower, and make breakfast and modify my next azure order for sure...I'll need dairy free yogurt and I can get rid of the large beef order I was making...I need to look into a milk alternative that isn't full of preservatives and additives, perhaps I'll start making my own coconut milk again. I love to have milk in my tea. 

This is going to be a process. I would love some prayers through the next few weeks! And some vegan meal ideas would be an added bonus. With two members of my family allergic to beans, and now me maybe allergic to meats, it's going to be extremely interesting around here...

But if I feel better...

Can I hope to feel better? I"ll take it. And I'm looking into options to heal myself too. But first, I need to get better and affirm I actually have this. Because the other option is mast cell disease and that doesn't sound any fun either. 

Also, where did I get this alpha gal from? I had Lyme back in 2020, 2021, and I have a chronic illness, but these hives/allergy attacks didn't start until...maybe postpartum with Esther (2023) at the earliest. I didn't have this stuff when I was suffering from Lyme in 2020 and 2021. And I don't have Lyme symptoms right now. 

I guess I'll never know the answer to how it happened...but if I can find the answer to my symptoms and heal, it probably doesn't matter.

Time to shower!

Thoughts

My days are so full now, I really don't know how I fit everything in. Also, I had hives on the top of my mouth basically the entire day. I don't know what is causing it but the top of my mouth and ears are quite itchy and it's very annoying. If I knew what I was eating...I mean, the first thing I had this morning was an electrolyte drink and...instant hives. They went away right before breakfast where I had a English muffin with egg and beef bacon on it. More hives, and these ones did not go away. It's been 12 hours since I had breakfast and I'm still itchy and annoyed. 

By the way, I have that electrolyte drink almost every day and am fine. Sometimes it gives me hives though. 

I don't know what is wrong with me. Maybe I have alpha gal? Maybe it's mast cell disease? Whatever it is, my body hates me. 

Anyway. We got through all of our school today except for math, which I plan to do tomorrow with Becky. Reuben will start back in math March 23 and we will probably do it all summer. But that's okay. He has had a 13 week break from math due to cognitive brain development and it was much needed. 

Oh, he has grown so much! His reading and writing have drastically improved! I am thrilled. I can't wait to see how it helps Becky and of course, to add the equipping minds program to our home-school days. It's been a blessing for me too. 

Becky read me a book that her and grandma wrote today. It was a dream come true to hear her read her book to me! She's come so far. Before we started the Barton Reading Program with her she struggled with recognizing letters and couldn't read at all. Now she can recognize all her letters, say sounds, and read some 3 and 4 letter words! She's thrilled and she should be, she's working so hard. Becky is on Barton box 3.

This week is packed full of all the homeschooling things. Tomorrow is piano, and we want to go swimming on Friday, and I need to figure out if we will join back into our co-op now that cognitive brain therapy is done...Today I took Esther to the park while Becky worked with grandma. It was interesting being out with only a toddler! We got some special time together... its sweet to spend time just with her. As a mom of three, I'm usually so busy it's all a blur and she gets lost in the mayhem. I need more moments like this with each of my kids.  

 The flu is still going around, I am praying hard I don't get it. 

Today we finished Treasure Island. And I have started reading Phineas Redux again by Anthony Trollope. It's been a good day I hope the Lord brings another one tomorrow. 

My heart is hurting over the news of war in Iran. I don't have anything political to say, only that war--necessary or not--always hurts innocent people. And that is what makes me sad. 

It has been A Week.

Like the title says! We started the week with temperatures in the low to mid 40s and now we are in the mid 70s! The high was 76f today and it was beautiful. Absolutely lovely. I have plans this weekend to clean out the herb garden (it used to be a sandbox!) and maybe the vegetable garden. Spring has sprung, at least for the foreseeable forecast. Planting might happens...soon!

We have gone to the park twice this week. It's been so beautiful. The kids have been loving the weather too.

Reuben is almost done with cognitive brain development. His writing is better, and his spelling a little bit too! His cognitive skills have improved. He has memorized over 30 presidents! And played a lot of games. We loved the Equipping Minds program and now that I have done it with a tutor for Reuben, I think I can do it at home with Becky and forgo paying for tutoring which will save us a bunch of money. My husband had a long talk with me yesterday about this and we decided I will do the program with her. 

I had reached out to Jill of the Einstein Reading Program and she finally got back to me and said her program is $3,800 for 40 lessons--one lesson each week. Well, I was excited about continuing her program since I only got 6 weeks of it from Kristal, our Equipping Minds teacher, but for that price point we just can't right now. I feel peace about it. I think I will try to save up this year and see if Reuben or Becky needs it next year, if Barton doesn't work out for them. Reuben will start the barton reading and spelling program since I already own it and have been doing it with Becky. Well, my mom is doing it with her. But you get what I mean.  

my cutie.

We also had a very crazy bit of news that went into my choice to stop doing the Equipping Minds program that maybe one day I will share, but not right now. I'm still wounded over it and need time to adjust. I don't know what to think and am gathering my thoughts. It does not involve our family so rest assured, we are all well and love each other quite amiably. 

God is so good. I am so glad I live where there is spring. I know soon it will be 700 degrees and I'll be wilting inside with ice cubes and ceiling fans but I'll take perfection when I can. 

I want to make time to paint today. 

The kids have requested mini-hamburgers and mac and cheese for dinner today! Since we have biscuits and gravy for breakfast and...bagels for lunch, I think a nice well rounded meal will be great for dinner. What is a mini-hamburger? I think most places call them sliders. But when we only have 1 pound of ground beef, tiny hamburgers are perfection. 

Esther is taking the greatest nap after our park day. She was so tired on the way home! I had Becky and Reuben chatting her up on the drive. She ate a bowl of cereal as a snack and started falling asleep at the table so I scooped her up and she's currently curled in Becky's papasan chair snoozing away.

 Bring on the ice cream and the fun, silly summer. I'm ready.