Wednesday, July 23, 2014

Do I have to many clothes?

This is a question I ponder a lot.

Do I own to much? Am I giving into material lust and drowning myself in an overabundance of possessions? Am I believing the lie that owning more means I'm more fashionable, more awesome then my peers? Do I look down on others who don't own x-y-z? Do I look down on people who wear sweatpants to Walmart? Do I think I'm prettier or better then them?


I want to live a good life. By good I mean sustainable. I desire to live within my means, but I also want to enjoy my time on earth. I don't want to use my fashion choices to belittle others or to elevate myself.

I'll be honest, I like owning things. I love going shopping. I have a little thrill meter that goes off every time I decide to go to the mall, or goodwill. And I'm addicted to Modcloth's cute dresses. I don't see anything wrong with this inherently--as long as I don't let it consume my life.

Sometimes I actually dream about what I'm going to wear and how it is going to look on me and how fashionable people will think I am. Sometimes people think I'm not fashionable and it confuses me. (But, duh, not everyone has the same fashion sense).

I'm an American who was raised by a single mother who worked really hard to make sure I wanted for nothing. I never had new designer clothes but I never went cold or hungry. I never had new game systems or electronics, but when Goodwill came out I had my pick of everyone's hand-me-downs. At that time I think everything was $1. My mom and I loved goodwill. I remember being baffled at the things people would give away. Brand new, tags-still-attached tops! Skirts, and jeans, and even jackets.



I'm now an American who is married to a very hardworking husband. We have made the choice to live off of his salary and it is more then enough to pay for all our bills and start a savings. It's a different lifestyle then I'm used to. I'm not living paycheck to paycheck anymore. I don't have to worry about making our ends meet. I don't have to stress about asking my mom for music lessons or worry about what she might have to give up in order to afford them for me like I did when I was a kid.

In this different era of my life I find myself pondering things like: I know I can afford this dress, but should I? I mean, I own more then 20 dresses. Do I need one more? Even if it's 5$ at Goodwill, or 30$ at the mall? I've always longed for a day when I would be financially stable. And while I've definitely arrived, and it's great, I don't want to waste money. I don't want to be a scrooge. I want to be good stewards of our money. I'm always trying to check myself and give all the credit to God.


Everyone is in different walks of life. We are all trying to make ends meet, all trying to grow something. Me, it would be nice to make my blog bigger. I love blogging. I do this for a living now, blogging and Youtube and Etsy. I do it because I love it. I do it for myself, for, oh, a million unnameable reasons. While my husband does pay the bills, it would one day be nice to create a living doing what I love and help support our family. Right now I make no money from blogging and that's okay. I'm not doing this for money (but it would be nice). I blogged for three years before I even met my husband, while juggling multiple full and part time jobs.

My husband likes his job--not all the time--but he mostly enjoys it. I'm happy that he gets to do what he loves. And I'm happy it allows me to do what I love as well. I'm still pursuing my dreams of making blogging and Etsy my job. I would love love love to make money writing and telling my story! I already earn a little selling knitting and patterns, and I've loved the support!

So, do I have to many clothes? I guess it depends on where you are coming from. Do I have more then I need to live? Yes. But I'm always changing and growing and moving and being. My clothes are a reflection of that. Am I giving into material lust and drowning myself in an overabundance of possessions? Some people would probably say yes. Others with bigger houses and larger closets might say no. It's all a matter of perspective, and it's all between me, God, and my husband. I fail a lot, but my desire is to glorify him.

You might ask: but if you are already financially stable, why would you care about earning money through your blog? Well, my husband's job, while amazing, is not stable. He could be fired at any time--but that's besides the point. Even if my husband's job pays our bills and for our food, his job does not pay for this blog. All the money I have made on Etsy or through selling ad space on Kitty-Ears has gone right back into buying materials and supplies to make more things or buy ads to promote myself. We keep personal and business expenses totally separate, as should any business.

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