Friday, July 18, 2014

Underwear Problems

It's about to get reeeallll personal up in here.

I have a problem.

And it's related to underwear.

I guess we should back up. Because this started...um, about a year ago? You may remember my fitness post where I talked about gaining weight and being 170ish pounds. I was wearing a size 14 at the time and this is where the aforementioned underwear problems began.

not actual pictures of my underwear...duh
No matter what pair, no matter what size or shape or polka dots...they all started giving me a perpetual. weggie. all. day. long.

It's like they conspired together with little whispers and giggles in my underwear drawer the night before because they thought I needed a little more excitement, or something.

So, after I gained all that weight, no matter what I would do I'd have a weggie in minutes after donning said underwear. Minutes.

Talk about craziness.

So I'd, you know, fix it. But a few minutes later I'd have a weggie again.

This kept happening over and over and over again until I finally realized that yes, something was indeed wrong.

I thought it was the size. I was like, wow, I need to loose weight because even my underwear is rebelling against the natural order of things here.

So to temporarily fix the problem I went out and bought a size up in underwear. I was wearing a large (at the time I bought all my derriere covers from Aerie) so I made sure to purchase the extra large this time.

And you know what...I still had the problem. Only it was worse.

So I was like, okay, okay, I need to loose weight, thats all. Then my underwear will fit me again and everything will be happy fun times and no more desperate attempts to pull things from my nether regions while sitting in mixed company will occur and we can all just chill.

As you know, I've lost weight. I'm now the same size as when I married my husband (not my goal weight, but close). I'm fluctuating between a 10-12 pants now. 

And the problems just keep on happening.

What is wrong, internet? What have I done? Have I pissed the universe off? Or is it a rule that the closer one gets to 30 the more your underwear hates you?

More importantly, what do I do now?

I've tried...
  • buying cheep underwear from walmart. A littler better, but still gives me a weggie.
  • buying very expensive underwear from Victoria's Secret. I've learned their underwear sucks. No matter what I try it does not begin to cover my bum (no full coverage to be found in these walls, friend) and always results in a very annoying weggie seconds after donning.
  • gone up sizes
  • gone down sizes
  • screaming
  • crying
  • panicking
  • wearing my husbands underwear (worked, but too bulky, also my husband thought this was really weird.) 
Next I'm just going to go commando. Yes, you heard me. And no, I don't care.

This is a true story. A story about me, and underwear, and how it has ruined my life. Ruined. So. Please, for the love of all that is holy and unwedged--let me know that I'm not alone? And leave advice. As long as it doesn't involve mustard.

15 comments:

  1. Maybe try a different brand? Hanes maybe? 100% cotton.

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  2. I have yet to find underwear that really fits well, no matter the brand or cost, but the kind that works best is the kind designed for no-wedge/no show. I think it's Hanes that has the no ride up kind.

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  3. underwear doesn't fit me well either. i always comment that my butt is trying to eat my underwear. so aside from when i have my period, i just don't wear any. now that's tmi for you. obviously if i'm wearing a skirt or something i will, but 75% of the time i just go without. because i get so tired of the constant wedgie.

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  4. Have you tried boy shorts? Those are my favorite (: I get the seamless ones and love them, this link shows lace ones, but I dont get those. http://www.target.com/c/panties-intimates-women-s-clothing/boy-shorts/-/N-5xtcbZ55uh3

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  5. Looks like someone already suggested it but I was going to suggest boy shorts as well! I don't normally have a wedgie probably but they're still my favorite!

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  6. I don't have any advice, but man, this problem sounds awful. I don't know what I'd do... probably go commando too! Hope you find some relief!

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  7. I came here to say boy shorts, but you have been well advised! I started wearing boy shorts after one morning I wore my husband's boxer briefs under a dress on a windy day.... it was glorious. I loved them. (He buys the kind that are made of this cool, thin material that isn't as bulky as normal men's boxers)


    But, alas, like your husband....Omar found it really weird and banned me from his underwear drawer. So boy shorts are a nice alternative!

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  8. I was having trouble with undies too, they would be SO incomfortable!! I thought it was the underwear but it was actually the jeans I was wearing... I have two pairs that are identical just a few shades lighter than the other but whenever I wore them (and I wore them A LOT) I would always have the underwear problem where it felt like i had a wedgie every time i walked... I wore the same underwear but with different pants and didnt have a problem!! Not sure if you have tried wearing different pants but that seemed to have solved my problem...

    A lot of people below are commenting to wear boy shorts but I just wear 100% cotton bikini panties.

    Very personal post!! :P Hope one of us has helped you though :)

    Jessica
    the.pyreflies.org

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  9. Never thought about the jeans! I'll check that out too :P

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  10. Make your own! You sew, right? Experiment with shapes -- bikini vs. boy-short, low-cut vs. high-cut legs, full bottom coverage vs, cheeky, a little looser like bloomers or tap shorts. Get your size and proportions exactly right.

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  11. Have you tried thongs? I had that problem and the whole underwear line showing thing and since I switched to thongs, no problem. Yes, it's like a wedgie but since the string can be really small, it's not that bad.

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  12. Boy shorts are awesome too cause on a windy day, no need to worry. Or commando works too.

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  13. Totally weird, I know.. but I hate weggie's so I wear thong's instead. Doesn't make sense I know, but the tiny piece of fabric between your butt cheeks is merely unnoticeable from the inside :), or the outside. (Panty lines) I have the same problem with regular underwear riding up my behind, and it drove me crazy!

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  14. I was having that problem with bikini cut undies. I switched to boy short undies (not the ones with long "short" but just longer side coverage) and it really helped!

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Thank you so much for commenting! Your thoughts bring smiles to my face :)