Wednesday, July 30, 2014

Am I good enough?

I've always struggled with thinking I'm good enough. Rather it's over my worth in regards to my husband or knitting--I'm consistently second guessing myself. Last week a blogger I love and obsessively read contacted me about some boot cuffs. I was excited. But a few minutes later after sending the confirmation e-mail--I felt myself start to panic. Clearly my knitting wasn't good enough. She would hate what I sent her, for sure. What did I think I was doing?

I have similar feelings when someone purchases from me on etsy. I get really scared they will laugh at my item and demand a refund.

But you know what? Not one person who has bought from me has asked for their money back. Usually they gush over what I've made and tell me all the compliments they've received. This surprises me every time.

Sure, when I started my Etsy shop way back in 2010 I clearly had no idea what I was doing. But I've grown. And learned from my mistakes

Making mistakes is okay. I've learned not to list something until I'm 120% satisfied with both the product and the pictures. And I've stopped trying to do it all. I only sell knitting in my shop now, no longer any sewn items. This way I'm not trying to focus on more then what I can handle at one time on top of the blog and my YouTube channel. I still love sewing, but I've decided that my needle and thread adventures are for me and not for sale! This took a lot of stress off my shoulders, let me tell you!

I'm happy with my product. I try to have faith in it and not second guess myself anymore. Everyone tells me what I've created is amazing. So why can't I see it that way?

I don't want to be overly critical of my own work anymore. Sure, I want to do the best that I can while verifying what I'm selling works. But I no longer want to be terrified of the mistakes I know I'll make. I want to realize that I'm human, and stop expecting perfection to slide off my crochet hook.

I don't want to panic when someone decides to spend their hard earned money to buy something from me! I desire to see it the way they do: buying a treasure to adorn their person while supporting a local artist. And I'm an local artist, a knitter of over 4 years now who knows a little bit about what she's doing.

I should start acting like it as well! I mean, I know I'm not alone. Do you ever feel not good enough? It's hard when there are thousands of people creating on the internet right along with you. But everyone is different. Everyone creates and experiences the world in different ways. And everyone has a story to tell. My knitting may be one among thousands--but it's the only knitting created by me, and I'm proud of it.

Thank you for being a part of my story.

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