Tuesday, March 19, 2013

Married...with finances!

So, now you are married. There is someone behind you. In bed, snoring, next to you. He raids the fridge, while you are showering, and consumes the last slice of pie...(you know, the one you hid behind the leftover lasagna, to eat after you finished your delicious hot shower?)
kiss of love
instead of cake, I'll just eat your face. good trade.
And now he wants to use your money. And you want to use his.

However, he doesn't seem to understand that yes, you did spend $10 at Barns in Nobles, and no, you didn't even buy a book. Oh, skinny latte with extra mocha, if only my husband could have tasted you. But he can't. Because you drank it all while he was in the computer programming section, of all places.

From hair cuts to groceries, my husband and I both had a different opinion not only on what we should buy, but also on how much and what brand.

Before marriage, neither of us had a budget. We kept everything in our head. That wasn't a bad way to do things, when we were single. Neither of us were in any kind of credit card debt, and both of us have never missed a payment on anything serious.

After marriage, it was a different story. We decided from the beginning to have one bank account. So I canceled mine (mine had more fees then his, thats why we went with his) and then--we both just tried to keep all the finances in our heads! Cue amusing panic and confusion.
I'm still eating your face. Oh wait, are we married? 
First off, I didn't know how much money I should spend on, say, frivolous purchases like yarn, or essentials like groceries. For awhile I called him every time I made a purchase. This, as you can imagine, became old really quick, so Mr. Adventure told me to stop and not to worry about it. So I stopped calling him. Cue discussions like "what did you buy for 100$ at Walmart?"and "Can you tell me what this charge for $20 is on our account?" I never save receipts, he saves his religiously. I am a impulse buyer, he is a well-researched argumentative buyer, when he buys something, that is (I shop a lot more frequently)

We never really had an argument, per se, but after three months of uncomfortable discussions regarding finances and confusing talks about money, we decided we needed a budget. Cue amazing sigh of relief. 

If you are thinking about getting married, engaged, or already married, and are not the King of France...you need a budget!

A budget has changed our lives! No really, it has! Now if I want something, all I have to do is check the budget. Its as simple as that! No more explanations, no more calls, no more worry. So, if you'll excuse me...I'm going to go find my husband and kiss him some more. I love being married :)


Rachel said...

This was one thing that we've had from the very beginning. Sometimes it can be a little annoying to remember to write down everything we spend, but it really works well and I feel so comfortable being able to know our finances at a glance through our budget book!

deanna@delirious-rhapsody said...

i never save receipts either. but peppy is meticulous about stuff like that. we grew up from very different backgrounds. when he was younger his family was on foodstamps, and my family was kind of well off. but neither of us is obsessed with wanting 'stuff,' so finances haven't been too much of an issue with us.

Unknown said...

Ahh I'm HORRIBLE with finances! My mister lives a few hours away from me right now, but when he moves to where I am (three more months YAY!!) I think we're going to create a budget for me/us and he's going to help me stick to it. I'm actually the QUEEN of creating budgets--it's sticking to one that's always my downfall.

I know that finances can be the biggest stressor in a marriage so we're trying to nip that one in the bud. Thanks for sharing this post!

heart, Melanie from My Billie

noone said...

this is a good post, definitely enlighten me!! I always wonder about finances when people get married. My parents only have 1 bank account and they budget, but I think when I do get married I would have a joint account and separate account so I don't be pissed if he spends $100 on "beer" and he won't be pissed if I spend $100 on shoes or something. But who knows what will happen when the time come!

Angel G. said...

Rachel grew up with 6 other siblings and I grew up with only two other, so it's really easy to spend money on myself, but lately I've been spoiling Rachel and she is now much more braver to actually spend and use stuff for herself. Even a simple Riesen Chocolate bar would be like, "Can I have this?" It's so weird that she asks me because if you want it then buy it.

I wish we were independently wealthy and we wouldn't have to worry about finances. Why didn't my parents win the lottery or invent something or inherited lots of money?
Rachel is not an impulsive buyer. I am!!! Just like you :)

Carolynn said...

I really want to invent something. That would be so cool. And name it something crazy!!

Six siblings is a lot. I sometimes wonder if Rachel keeps track of them all. You should "guest post" for Rachel about how to keep yourself occupied when your spouse is traveling! My husband travels for work sometimes--but its never planned, its always like "OMG SOMETHING BROKE your flight leaves in two hours, so go home and pack and get there then spend all week fixing it NO SLEEP." hah.