The night before my big day my three friends and I stayed in the hotel where I was getting hitched the next morning. I will admit to being a mess. I've been told by many women that you really don't remember your wedding day--because you are in shock. Thats so true! I was in a daze the day before and during the ceremony--is this really happening? I think I was scared. I mean, marriage is a big deal. Its kinda like, forever.
For some reason I was terrified that B wouldn't show up! When I left his house the night before the wedding I made him promise to be there. He laughed at me, but I was scared! Luckily all my fears were in vain. I know I didn't talk much that night with my girlfriends--everything seemed to be happening so fast all at once, when before it had seemed so far away! I didn't know what to say or do. This is strange because I'm usually, if you know me, extremely talkative.
Luckily, the ceremony was at 9:30 the next morning, so I had no time to freak out when I woke up.
We went to the ceremony room and almost ran into the groom. Eek! I was shuffled aside by my bridesmaids and B went down to the foyer while we made sure everything was in order. We did our whole wedding with only 2000$, dress and everything, so there wasn't much to do. Then I hid in a stairwell with my mom while the guests arrived.
Right before the music started playing for me to walk down the isle I remember my best friend and bridesmaid Larkin coming up to me and praying with me. I must have been white. I was so excited and scared and happy that I was having trouble breathing. My other bridesmaid, Beth was the photographer (if she hadn't had said yes, we wouldn't have had a photographer, so yeah, she's pretty much a lifesaver and b, the most amazing person ever)
So the music starts playing and Larkin exits and I'm standing there in my white dress knowing that this is really happening. And I really want it to happen. Ready or not...
I stepped out. And B was there, waiting for me, at the end of my purple petal trail. The moment I saw him I'll never forget. A peace just came over me and I knew I had made the right decision. All those other people that I dated, who broke my heart and who I broke theirs---they were gone. All those mistakes and heartache and worry and fears--those things didn't matter. I'd made my choice...and I knew it was the right one. It was at this moment that I gave my total and full heart to God. God had brought me someone wonderful, someone amazing who loved me and wanted to cherish me for the rest of his life...and I don't deserve him. I'll never deserve him. But this amazing God--this God who loves me even with my selfish human will had given me this man who has chosen to love me--and who loves and sacrifices and cherishes me to this day.
So the minister did his thing and I cried through my vows and tried to put B's ring on the wrong hand (hah hah) and then we were married. And I've never been happier.