- There is a dress code for sex
- Just to warn you, I haven't shaved today...
- Don't look there! I'm ugly there.
- Wait, let me go put on something sexy!
This is simply not true. No matter if I shave or not, my husband still enjoys being intimate with me. When I first began to warn him of my unshaven state, he would laugh and rub my legs to show me he didn't care, but I would still feel bad for "not prepping myself" and for "letting him down". Now, almost two years into our marriage, he has told me point blank to stop apologizing, because there is nothing to apologize for. My husband loves me, and my excessive apologizing was ruining not only his mood, but mine as well as I felt sub-par. Sure, its nice to shave sometimes, and it's nice to put on something sexy, but it isn't a requirement for sex.
I think the media really perpetrates this lie. Most of the sex portrayed in the media is full of lingerie-wearing flawless women and 30-minute sexcapades where they solely focus the camera on the women for the enjoyment of men.
- I need to be quiet if I'm just "uncomfortable"
- Is it painful? Okay, no. Don't talk.
- Is it wrong? Okay, its not wrong. Whats the big deal?
- It only appears to be inconveniencing to me so I shouldn't say anything.
I needed to learn voice my concerns. I mean, I'm half of the sexual experience! It's not just about my husband, it's also about me. And he wants to pleasure me as much as I want to pleasure him. I learned to tell him "I like that" and "I don't really like that". I try to say it in a way that lets my husband understand that it's not something he is doing, but that "it" just does not particularly feel good to me.
- I need to be loud during sex.
Can you think of any lies you were taught?