Friday, May 9, 2014

5 Struggles of a Stay-at-home Wife

Last week I talked about 5 reasons I love being a stay-at-home wife. Today I'm going to talk about some struggles and negative situations I've faced.

  • You need to schedule and balance your time.

I've learned that since I do stay at home, it can be easy to be lazy. I feel like I need to be much more  responsible with my time and make sure I am spending it for God, not for my own selfish pursuits. I know that no one really wants to be selfish, regardless of their profession inside or outside the home--but I think it's easier for me to fall into the "oops, I just spend 4 hours playing with my iPhone" problem then other people. (Note--see this blog post about how I realized I was, in fact, spending to much time on my phone, and what I did about it)

  • Reversely, you need to stop feeling guilty when you take a break.

I don't know about you, but I suffer from Sudden Guilt Syndrome. You know, that great feeling of self-condemnation that hits square in the chest when you realize that you did, indeed sit down and watch an hour of anime after doing all those dirty dishes. It's weird how suddenly your mind can be full of all the other things you could have been doing, and then instead of that restful hour, being, well, restful, your conscience is sort of driven into a whirl of anxious culpability.  Because, for shame, how dare you sit down for more then five minutes. I mean, it isn't like you have a real job.

Anyway, I've realized that everyone needs breaks. It's perfectly okay to take some time, or even a whole day (gasp!) just to relax and rejuvenate. Now, I don't think this should be a lifestyle--but I no longer heap shame upon myself or feel like a fraud or a terrible person if I sit down and zone out on YouTube for awhile. I get my work done. I also relax. It's okay.

  • There is no good answer to the question "So, what do you do?"

Maybe it's me--but I dread this question. I never know what to say. I've tried all of the following
  • I stay at home
  • I work in my home and help my husband
  • I am lucky enough to have free time to help others...
  • I don't work outside my home right now 

But all these answers seem to do is to make the person talking to me go into full "Befuddlement Mode". An individual in such a mode rapidly attempts to find out the "real reason" behind why I don't work and usually, no matter what I say, tends to assume the following.
  • I am lazy
  • I have more then 3 kids
  • I am better then them
  • My husband is a chauvinistic pig
  • I'm one of "those" women
  • I am rolling in money up to my eyeballs  
  • I think all women shouldn't work
  • I am "working the system" and on government aid
Because of how many times I've had these reactions happen to me, I've developed this weird pause after someone asks me what I do--mostly because my brain was going sigh, now I'm going to have to explain how no, I don't have any kids, and yes, I did choose this for myself and am not lazy...
Now I just tell people I'm a lifestyle blogger. And that opens up a whole other can of worms...

  • Sometimes you will be lonely.

In a world where most people work, or stay home with kids, you might frequently spends days by yourself without another soul to talk to. This might not actually be a bad thing. Many days I am happy to be a home, surrounded by so many creative endeavors. But there are days were I just yearn to get out of the house and have a real conversation with a friend. Alas, I don't know any stay at home wives where I live. Thus, when I really need to get out and everyone else is at work or changing diapers, I will take myself out to coffee and bug strangers. Yes, I'm that person. (extroverts unite! Oh wait, we do that all the time...)

Anyway, I hope this list helps you see some areas where you may have to plan! Can you relate? What are some daily struggles in your life?

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