Monday, October 7, 2013

My Worst Roommate Story

Everyone has one. Or, knows someone who has had one. No one ever admits to being one...

So, in 2010 I decided to move in with one of my best friends. I was working at VT at the time, and she also worked there. We were good friends, and I thought it was an awesome idea. We signed a lease and got an apartment together, and thus began the worst year of my life.
yeah, that bad.
The first day I caught her eating my food. Her boyfriend also stayed over that first day. Guess who she fed my food to.

She also never washed anything.

But I was willing to try to work with her. I mean, I'm not an angel all the time, and I'm sure I was hard to deal with and stuff. Everyone has problems, right? This was okay. We could still be friends. Just don't eat my food. Why are you eating my food? So, we talked, and I tried to communicate to her that consuming my food was the worst possible thing she could ever do--and if she used my dishes, I only wanted her to wash them. Like, is that too much to ask?

But that's not the worst story. Oh, no, the worst part is when I caught her doing...uh, well, you can guess--on my couch. Drunk. On my couch. Doing. THAT. On my couch. Women, don't you have your own room? Doesn't he have his own apartment?! Don't you know I am home? This happened more then one time. Like, three times total, that I knew about. What ever happened to go to your own room--to make the bang bang times, for the love of all things sanitary and appropriate? Seriously!
Uh, your a bad roommate.
Suffice to say that was the last straw. I kinda quit trying to communicate with her after this point.

But then--no, then--she somehow acquired two boyfriends (yes, you heard that right, two) So, one would stay over on the weekdays and another on the weekends. It was like playing musical chairs. Except with men. Whose names I could never keep straight. They didn't know about each other (hah) and, yes, if you have to ask, they did eventually find out.

Oh, you want to know what happened? Well, one left her. And the other apparently didn't care, so he stuck around. I happened to be working during the blow out, thankfully. Also, I didn't really want to hear about her sob story at this point.

Then she accused me of telling on her. Like, really? No, I didn't tell sleeping partner A about sleeping partner B. I can't even remember their names, much less who is who. I'm over here, juggling my full time job and my own social life, thank you very much. I don't know how they found out, maybe they read your e-mail? Or checked your phone? Or maybe one of them saw you out with the other? It's not like you were really discrete. So not my problem.

I'm so glad I'm married, and don't have to juggle female roommates anymore. Ya'know?

I do feel kinda bad about totally blowing up on her in the end, and sometimes I wonder what happened to her. Sometimes I pray for her. But then I remember her craziness and suddenly I don't feel that bad anymore...

Did you ever have any terrible roommate stories? I doubt you can top this....


  1. Lindsay-Marie YatesOctober 7, 2013 at 7:05 AM

    Whoa!!! That's nuts! I've had a few crazy roommates too. And I've been the crazy roommate too ;P

  2. One of my roommates pawned some of my irreplacable family jewelry. When I called the police, LUPD actually lectured ME about not causing trouble since she confessed, and they wouldn't send her to another dorm. They also tricked me into taking compensation without telling me that I would not be able to press charges once I did that.

  3. Umm, that's awful. I've never lived with anyone other than my parents, my grandparents, or Angel--and I'm glad of that! Angel had romomates up until his last year of college. One of his best friends (Actually, one of my best friends, to, he was always avoiding rooming with him for the semester because he was just so messy. Sweetest guy ever, on fire for Jesus, always there for you...but man, his apartment was always trashed. I'd go over there, walk in the door, and just start washing dishes. Because what else is a girl to do when they're stacked to the ceiling? Both me and Angel love that guy to death but he would be a hard one to live with! (Angel and I are both kind of neat freaks :P )

  4. i once had a roommate who ate my food too. and she would crumble up the wrappers and put them under the couch or between the cushions. she was SO lazy. she never did the dishes or took out the trash. her room had the balcony and she would just put full bags of trash onto the balcony instead of throwing them out.

  5. Ok, you win. At least my roommate only violated my couch, not my personal property. That is really terrible, and I don't understand why the LUPD would lecture you, for doing what is right and reporting a crime. I had a run in with the LUPD on campus once when I tried to report a crime and they told me I was lying. I was upset about that for awhile.

  6. Wow, that is a terrible room mate you had there! I've never had one that bad! xxx

  7. Oh girl. You are the first person to ever top my roommate story. Mine brought home a devil cat and then refused to take care of it while also refusing to clean or do anything. Isn't it so much better to be married?!


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