Tuesday, October 1, 2013

I have an Opinion

I have an opinion. And I quite like my opinion. Don't you? Don't you like it, too? Isn't it all the rage, this opinion of mine? I mean, I made sure to seep in a large helping of tolerance and justification. Just for you. So shiny. So right.

I wear my opinion, dressed down in skinny jeans, with my nose raised to the sky; as if to always say "I see you. I understand you. I will surmount you" to the world. Even through sometimes I only wish to say--"I found you, I understand myself more now, that you are here."

My Facebook page is an extension of my opinion. Please, re-tweet that. And that. Because, everyone wants to hear my opinion. I'll give out twitter stars to everyone who has an thought that is like mine, and instagram hearts to every picture that fits my idea of fun, beauty, and excitement. And at the same time, my opinion of you will rise.

Like my phone, I can't leave my opinion at home. I brandish my opinion when I go out into the world, like a pair of goggles to see through--or a sharp sword to part the waters--you, to the left, and you, to the right. I must review my opinion whenever I encounter a new experience. Because, my opinion validates me. It is there when I climb mountains and slide down deep valleys; and when I spend time with my friends, my opinion always come to light. You wanted to know, didn't you? I know you did, because my opinion can sometimes be funny. But sometimes it's not.

It is there when I scrutinize your blog post, your blog post that is so full of your opinions. Your wrong opinions. You must not understand the world. You clearly have your facts messed up. Let me help you. Now, I must use my opinion under the quizzical guise of "correction" and "guidance". Fact one, fact two, fact three, fact four. Don't you see that your opinion is wrong now? Fact five, fact six, fact seven. Do you need bullet points?

At last, you must see it my way. I mean, I've researched this opinion. You don't understand. This is black and white. Can't you see that it's black and white?

You just aren't trying hard enough.

No, I can't let go of my opinion. It burns, like a fire inside my heart. I feel it, tearing around in there, beating to the theme of my footsteps, because I'm pacing now. I'm pacing, because you aren't listening. In the end I'll call it righteous indignation. Or, perhaps I'll call it by other names--God's will? Truth? Divine revelation?

I guess now I'll turn it back on you. Because you have invaded my opinion! You have declared war! I'm terribly sorry, but we can't be friends. Why? I can't be friends with anyone who believes that. Don't you understand science? Religion? Life? Can't you see the way the world works? Anyone with half a brain can see the truth in what I'm saying.

Why can't you understand me and where I'm coming from?

Let me--no, just let me rephrase my opinion. Is that better?? You got that now? No, I'm not yelling. This is talking. This is just a conversation. I'm just--I'm just excited. You got me excited. It's just so important. So important.

Said every person, ever.

Sources

This is how every argument between me and Mr. Adventure goes, practically! It's always funny how people (myself included) get so mad when someone just randomly offers an opinion. Or when I ask someone for their opinion and they say something different then what I'd thought they would say...

So, what's your opinion?
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