Wednesday, October 23, 2013

A(nother) Uterus Story

So, remember when I had that horrible UTI and my doctor wouldn't believe that I was actually sick, and kept telling me I had an STD instead?

Well, I have story to top that. About my uterus.
Mine's totally this cute.
So, last month something funny started happening. I'm not sure how to go into it without being sort of personal, but if you clicked on my blog post, you already know this is about my lady bits from the title. Anyway, I started having awful, terrible pain after sex. This was weird, because I've never experienced any pain during sex. Or after. But, about five minutes after completion of great intercourse with my amazing husband, I would curl up in a ball. The pain was like huge, rolling cramps, kind of like my uterus or whatever it was that was hurting was attacking me. It was worse then any period I'd ever had. 10x worse. It felt like a lot of pressure and cramps, and it started lasting for a day or two after the aforementioned great sex.

As you can imagine the onset of this particular unexplainable problem made me not really want to roll in the hay with my husband. Poor husband.
Googling my issue didn't help. All I could find was that I either was A) in my third trimester of pregnancy or B) having pain during sex, not after. And I was having pain after sex, and am not pregnant. But I kept googling and calling lady friends, trying to find some answers.

Anyway, clearly I needed to go to the doctor. So, I call my gyno to make an appointment. I explain the problem as coherently as possible, and ask to be screened for an ovarian cyst (really the only thing besides "cancer" that Web MD would tell me. Only, of course, I don't mention the internet to the nurse...)

Nurse: Oh, your doctor has no free appointments for a month. Would you like to see a different practitioner, or do you want to wait?

Her question made me really excited, because I wanted to see a different doctor--remember what an idiot that other doctor was because she wouldn't believe me? I wanted to switch doctors, but wasn't sure how to go about it exactly, not wanting to sound picky and all. Plus, I'm sure these nurses and doctors talk. I can just imagine my old doctor being told I switched, or whatever, and being upset, and ruining my experience with my new doctor, or something.

Me: Seeing a different Doctor is not a problem to me. 
Nurse: The nurse practitioner is available on Friday. We'll do your annual at this time as well as give you an ultrasound for a ovarian cyst.  
Friday comes along, I go to the doctor. She does my annual, and is super nice! Score! She chats about my sewing business and even compliments my painted tom shoes.

After the quick checkup, she says everything looks normal, and has me describe the pain to her. I make sure to tell her about "my friend" (google) who had the same problem and it turned out to be an ovarian cyst, and that is why I'd come in to day and why I had made an appointment. I'm expecting an ultrasound, or something.

She then tells me we can't do an ultrasound today.

What? I said, what about my problem? I want it to go away. I want to have sex with my husband without curling up in a ball and crying afterwards. Something is wrong.

Her: Nothing looked wrong when I poked around down there...did anything hurt?

Huh? I'd only had a pap smear and one of those pressure check things, where they push on your belly and on the inside of your lady bits. There is no way she can see my ovaries from there. 

Me: Well, it only hurts after sex. But it can last up to two days after. I just want to check out everything to make sure there is no abnormal growths or something down there.

Her: Here's what you do. Take a ibuprofen 30 minutes before having sex. You should be fine. Call us back if it's still happening. 

Me: But I made the appointment for an ultrasound....this has been happening for weeks...

Her: I'm sorry, that's not our policy. From what you are describing I think its your cervix dilating after sex. I'll be back with your chart and then you can leave. Be sure to call us if this keeps happening!

Me: (not going to argue anymore) Uh, Okay.

Me: (driving home) Everyone at that office is crazy.

I'm going to make a new appointment somewhere else. Because something is clearly wrong with me and no one will do anything about it! I'm sorry, but I just don't trust doctors anymore.

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