Monday, April 6, 2015

Things I couldn't wait to do

When I was a kid just about everything about being an adult seemed magical. I most certainly had some huge expectations about life events that I saw adults processing through. I mean, everything looks better with rose tinted glasses, right?

me, 6, and sister, 3. Adorbs.
So here are some things I just knew would be amazing experiences when I grew up.

1) Getting my Period- I thought the moment I got my period I would instantly become an adult, trumpets would sound and a boy would appear from thin air to ask me to be his girlfriend. It sounded wonderful. I would finally be a member of the unspoken, invisible female club and I pictured myself sighing dramatically and complaining about my flowering womanhood while secretly enjoying every second. I had no idea that it lasted for more then a few hours. And I had no idea that the first time it happened I would think I was dying and forget everything my mom told me and have an hysterical meltdown in a Belk shopping store. But hey, you live and you learn.

2)  Being Kissed- this is probably right up there with getting my period, but I dreamed obsessively about what it would be like to kiss someone. Or have someone kiss me is more like it. I remember asking my mom all the time what it was like. Also, I thought once I was kissed that was it. It would be the perfect, romantic moment and no other moment would compare and it wouldn't need to be repeated. One kiss is all you get, or so I thought... and the sun would shine it's golden rays on my perfect hair and my partner would be forever entranced with my beauty. I would, of course, remember it fondly forever.

When I did get my first kiss, it was wet, weird, and very awkward! Instead of feeling divinely beautiful the whole experience felt... very slimy. No offense to the guy I kissed--we both had no idea what we were doing. A friend who witnessed our first kiss said it looked like two fish grubbing for worms at the same time. I'd never been more mortified. Also, I didn't know what to do with my arms. No one mentions what to do with your arms.

3) Being able to buy things for my mom - This one might be a little weird, but I grew up with a single mom. I saw her buy a lot of things for me and my sister, but she never really bought things for herself. I never understood it. At this point I didn't really "get" money, and I thought my mom went to work and was gifted with an unlimited amount of dollars to spend. I didn't realize some things cost more then others, or what a budget was. I just wanted to make my mom feel as happy as she made me feel when she bought me a present, and I felt sad that she didn't have anyone to buy things for her. Now my mom tells me all the time she has enough clutter and please don't gift her anything, hah!

4) Sit in the front seat - my mom waited a long time before letting me or my sister sit in the front seat of the car. For starters, we were always small and she was trying to be safe. But I wanted badly to sit there. I thought that if she let me sit in the front seat it would mean I was one step closer to being an adult, not like a baby who had to sit in the back. Of course, since I'm two years older I did get to move up before my sister, and I can remember gloating to her about it. I know that it didn't really mean anything--but it sure did make me feel special once I got front-seat privileges! It was like being on top of the world!

5) Shaving my legs - It was around 8th grade that I noticed girls with shaved legs. My mom told me it was a fashion thing, and I didn't have to do it if I didn't want to. But I really really wanted to be fashionable and beautiful like all the other girls, so I begged her to teach me. I really thought I was something just because I happened to shave part of my legs. And I mean part of them, because boy was I terrible at this. Also, for some reason it made my skin break all out and get covered in red bumps and I felt really embarrassed. Shaving still to this day makes my skin break out. Yay for fair skin. Not as wonderful as it looks. Also, I cut myself a million times in my teen years and mostly wore band-aids on my skinny, half-shaven legs.

What are some things that you were desperately convinced would be wonderful as a kid, but were actually much more complex then they appeared to be?

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