My Brain the Past Week

Why is one of our books always missing? This morning it was This Country of Ours. Of course I never notice it's missing until I want to read it. But, after 2-3 minutes of hunting I found it behind the books in the bookcase. Obviously. 

Continually stopping to find homeschool material of course interrupts my homeschool flow. So do cute, amazing toddlers, bickering kids, requests for food, my own seasonal allergies, my spring apathy and phone notifications. 

At least one of those things can be silenced. I will let you guess which one.

Back to the book. For the first minute I couldn't find it anywhere. Utter frustration. What had I done with it? It's not like the kids will wander off with This County of Ours for a little light reading. The toddler, then, was suspect number one. She's always absconding with books to make book stacks, because, toddler.

Invariably, the kids wandered off while I was searching for the lost book, and started to play wrestling/loud game in their room which did NOT help. Why they not help to find book? I don't know. I don't have time to ask them for help. I am searching for book, because homeschool day depends upon book.

Finally, I found the book behind the books in the bookcase, and felt bad after blaming the toddler, even mentally. I hadn't even gotten to the point of questioning anyone...but, guilt was there nonetheless. It definitely hadn't been her. Or me, or any of the kids, but merely the fact that we have...to many books, and sometimes some of them get shoved in the back, and covered up by other books.

I need a library.

Well, a magic fairy godmother did not appear with a wand and gift me a library like she gifts teenagers dresses, so I dusted off the book, made sure my bookmarks were still in the right place, and looked around for the kids.

They were still playing a game, loudly, in their room. And, with those happy noises I realized...my homeschool day had been derailed. The groove has been disrupted, everyone needed to be re-assembled to school time and...thus I set down the book and went to get them.

They all huffed about me disrupting whatever game they started playing. Excuse me, this is school time. Even when I'm searching for lost educational material that the bookshelf decided to eat. 

Here, I wanted to skip over the part that once I got everyone assembled back into the living room, I couldn't remember where I had set down This Country of Ours. Yes, on the way back I temporarily lost the book again because I set it down in an obscure place (the top of the piano) as I was on the way back to their rooms...but lets not focus on my mom brain. Everyone came, and school was had. 

I need that meme about throwing off the Emperor's Groove...literally me.

There, perfection. 

We ended last week with Esther having a little cold. She even fell asleep on me which was so cute. She never sleeps on me anymore...I enjoyed cuddling her for an hour while she snoozed. 

Then we had daddy's birthday weekend, which was awesome. I did not get a picture with me, because I am the one who takes pictures. I have stopped feeling sad about it. I only feel resigned to obscurity at this point.

The boys went off to see that new space movie with the rock Pokemon and the spaceships and the weird sun eating space algae. 

I haven't read the book, can you tell?

So now, this week is here. I have been having a bad health week but pushing through. I hate bad health weeks. Everything takes so much more time and effort and I'm really quite exhausted. Though I am feeling better today! By better, I mean, I have energy again. I thought I was getting a UTI so I took a bunch of supplements Monday and Tuesday and maybe it helped--maybe I did have a kidney infection and/or UTI. I don't know. But yesterday, I decided to give up gluten and maybe that's why I feel better. I don't know what's wrong with me, but I hope one day I will find out. Actually, that's not all the way true. I know some of what is wrong with me. I have alpha gal and I have type two diabetes and I have some kind of gut issue...but beyond that, God only knows. 

I also made bone broth today and I have no idea if that is why I look about 5 months pregnant with bloating. I thought bone broth was supposed to be good for you.

Yesterday the kids set up some tents as forts--they love doing this in the summer! This year we have a girls tent and a boys tent. So fun. They played in them all day yesterday after school. 

Today it hailed like crazy--I have never seen it like this in central Virginia before! It hailed for at least five minutes and we all stopped what we were doing to watch. Except for Esther, she took one look at what was happening and couldn't care less and went back to watching Zootopia 2. Being two is wild, ya'll. 

How was your week?

Adjustments

I think I am burnt out a bit from homeschooling. I'm feeling better and more hopeful mid-week today, the warm weather is making me smile. And yeah, mourning the loss of whole food groups (beef/dairy) due to Alpha Gal...is part of the process of acclimating to my new diet. The most important thing to remember is, I'm going to be okay. And I can thrive, I just have to adjust and get over the learning curve. 

Our dryer broke so I am enjoying hang-drying my clothes. I actually find this peaceful. Except our 200 cloth tissues--that's no fun. And, for some reason the clothes smell bad when I hang them outside. They may be staying damp too long, Virginia is very humid. Or maybe there is something wrong with our washer. I will clean the washer and see if it helps. Brian says he will try to fix our dryer this weekend and then I won't have to worry about smelling like algae...or old socks. Whatever it is? 

The kids are cycling through a little cold. No fevers, just sore throats and sinus issues. I'm giving Narayani War (1M) and also Narayani Sinus (30C) homeopathy to the kids, and our nettle/oatstraw "sick tea" and lots of steamy hot baths. For myself, I did two garlic enemas, sick tea, and fire cider. I also took the homeopathy but I forget to re-dose myself often...so I am not sure if one dose did anything. The garlic enemas nipped it in the bud for me in 24 hours! The kids do not want to try an enema, and I respect that. But I still tell them how amazing they are so perhaps they can do them to themselves when they are an adult.

For the kids, the illness seems to last three days, with the end of the first day and the second being the worst, with the third day a recovery day. 

I quit our Monday co-op. It was a great co-op but I can't do an all day co-op from 10am-5pm. It just won't work. I have tried to reconfigure our lives to get it to fit and it's impossible, especially with my chronic fatigue. Monday is the day I try to get as much done as possible to get myself set up for the week in case chronic fatigue hits and stays. Usually I don't have chronic fatigue Monday until noon, if it comes. Because of this, Monday can't be our busiest, out of the house day. It wrecks the whole week. 

The Monday co-op used to be only 2-4pm which was perfect. I’m sad they changed! We still have nature group twice a month, and church, and playdates…so my kids won’t lack for friends.

It's sad, but I have to make the best decision for our family. I know this is the right decision, even if it hurts. Reuben was a bit sad about not going back but Becky, my introvert, was relieved. And Esther really doesn't care...

Before we all got sick, Reuben learned to make a fire with a magnifying glass. All by himself. I was amazed! Here he is with his park friend who trumped him in chess just an hour before, making fires. And we did it safely, put it out completely before we left, and had a lot of talks about fire on the way home. So don't worry. 

God is so good. I'm making spaghetti for dinner--sans meat for me. I might make myself a salmon on the side...been craving it lately. I need to make sure I am getting plenty of calcium foods and iron. And I'm taking a really good supplement for both those...hoping it can help. I don't know how my body will do without its daily deluge of raw milk, but I am hoping I'll be okay. 

This weekend is Brian's 41st birthday and I'm so excited to celebrate him.

I Got Ahead of Myself

The highs and lows of a chronic illness are extreme. I was so thankful to find a cure for my debilitating allergy attacks, hives, asthma (I haven't used my breathing tea since I went mammal free) and middle of the night mild anaphylaxis...its been great. I definitely think I have alpha gal. 

But in my excitement I thought maybe some of my other symptoms might go away too and I find myself kinda sad today that I still have chronic fatigue. 

Today I went on a play date with another home-school mom, it was my first time meeting her and it was awesome. She has a 9 year old who loves to play chess and my 10 year old also loves to play chess. Her son beat mine three times! Reuben had a blast though, he wants to keep trying and playing. But there was my chronic fatigue making it so hard to concentrate. And hard to walk. And hard to keep track of my kids. I just wanted to go home. We stayed 2.5 hours and then I was a couch potato for an hour and now I am making roasted yams, fish and broccoli for dinner. 

I think chronic fatigue has been one of my hardest symptoms. It comes, and never with any kind of warning. It stays and then just disappears one day maybe for 24, 36 hours or sometimes a week. It always comes back. Sometimes I start the day okay and by lunch have chronic fatigue...

Today I am trying to focus on the good. I am better! Even a little bit counts! The hard realization that I am still sick is just life, and facing reality is better than trying to ignore it. My life won't look like the life of a person who is healthy. Not everyone is going to understand that, and that's also okay. 

I can still have dreams even with a chronic illness. They may be modified, slower dreams, but I can still dream them.

And I can still raise beautiful babies. God's blessings are so evident in my life. He is so good and he has been good to me, too.

What Chronic Illness makes hard: being intimate with my spouse, cooking, cleaning, parenting, homeschooling, going to church, volunteering, going out of my house, laundry, exercising, driving, moving, standing up, concentrating, singing...

What Chronic Illness doesn't make hard (for me): sunsets, warm days, reading books, listening to music, enjoying chocolate, smiling at my husband when he gets home from work, making lists, hugging my babies...

There is still joy to be found even in the hard parts. Thanks be to the Lord!

A Random Assortment of Updates

I forgot so many things at the store yesterday. Do you ever do that? Anyway, the kids and I were headed to a birthday party so I sent hubby to the store to get eggs, sour cream, and salt. Yes, we were completely out of salt. On a day that I also decided to make bone broth! 

Birthday Party Fun!

Anyway, its now Sunday and I just realized we are also out of cream cheese! We always buy cream cheese! Every week! What was I thinking? 

It has been a crazy 6 days. I don't know officially if I have Alpha Gal, but I really think I do. I suppose I should go in for a blood test to confirm my self-diagnosis. I think I have had it for a year. That was the first time I noticed having these awful allergies. My symptoms are random allergy attacks, like in the middle of the night sometimes! Asthma. Itchy throat, itchy ears, hives on the top of my mouth, stomach bloating and fatigue, constipation...when I have an attack of these, I usually am laid up in bed for a day. Or two! In the past month I have even had trouble breathing. I have been at my wits end to figure this out...

I also have other autoimmune issues like type two diabetes and IBS-C that I have had for years and years, but all the other symptoms that I listed above are new from the past year or so. 

I have now been mammal-product free for almost one week--I started last Monday--and I feel a lot better. My allergies are way better! I also feel less stressed about what in the world I am going to eat. Also, I was using a tallow lotion and tallow toothpaste and I need new lotion and toothpaste! I'm trying to read the ingredient list on everything that goes on my body or in my mouth. I just realized while writing this that I also own a tallow based hand soap...that will have to go.

We have a relaxed week of homeschooling coming up, and hopefully I can do some organizing. I need to make a list of home-school books to buy over the summer. I need to do some shopping for our summer plans--weeks spent by the pool! I want to get some snack containers and thin towels like turkish towels...anything to make lots of time spent in the sun easier. We also need to buy sunscreen, but we have two whole months until the pool opens to plan it out. 

Oh, and I'm also planning a garden. It's going to be great, I hope! We shall see...the garden plot is tilled and ready and now I'm just waiting on the weather. 

God is good and I am hopeful that as I continue to cut out mammal products I will continue to feel better...and better, and maybe I can have a summer with energy that is not spent in bed, or crying from allergies. One can hope?

I am content with what God gives me. Every day is a gift. 

I'm going to lay in bed and eat chocolate. 

Budget Feb 27-March 13 2026

coffee date from last week!

This month we did our taxes and got our tax return. It was $3,134 which was a huge blessing. We put $2,000 in savings and will be placing the rest (1,134) into our budget. 

Feb 27-March 6: Budget 1,567

• Pandora Subscription $13
• Trash $32
• Reuben Piano $120
• Tithe
• Target $160
• Goodwill $23
• Health Nut $17
• Kroger $66
• Gas $60
• Ice Cream $20
• Bakery Date $7
• Summer Hats $87
• Birthday Present for Daddy $60
• Amazon $105
• Keen Sandals for Becky $74
• Xero Shoes Sandals for Reuben $90

That brings our spending to $984 for this week, leaving 583 to roll over into next week.

We did all our spring and summer clothes shopping this week. We went to target and I got Reuben one summer outfit, Esther one summer outfit, and Becky two summer outfits. Then we went to goodwill and picked up a few other things...goodwill is by far better prices but sometimes you can't find anything. I think we did good! 

Becky needed a pair of closed toe sandals for summer. I'm a shoe minimalist, even with my kids. Each child is allowed up to four pairs of shoes. For them, I like to have a pair of closed toed sandals for summer, and a pair of open toed sandals. Then we always have a pair of church shoes (that also work for piano recitals) and a pair of boots (for rain, cold days) on hand year round. In winter we nix the sandals and add a pair of winter waterproof snow boots into the rotation. I do the same for myself. It's simple, and then because we are so minimalist on shoes I can afford to buy the barefoot shoes that help my kids posture... however, I could not for the life of me find a pair of closed toe sandals in size 1 or 2 for Becky, so I bought her a pair of Keen sandals. They are the closest to what I wanted that I could find-- I wanted a pair like this, zero drop and wide toe box. Hopefully Becky likes what she gets. 

Becky lost her hat last year and Esther has the same one, so I wanted to repurchase it. It's the butterfly hat from Sunday Afternoons. I also bought myself a straw hat. Mine broke last year, the webbing in the brim fell apart. It was sad. I bought myself this one in large. On Amazon, the most expensive thing I bought was this new piano book for Becky! This is the one her studio uses and thus, we need it for her piano lessons. I also bought a book for a friend, a cookbook for Reuben, a hairbrush and some hair headbands. 

I hope my husband likes his birthday gift. He turns 41 this year! 

March 6-13: Budget 2,150

• Brian Phone $35
• Internet $20
• Tithe 
• Raw Milk savings 50
• Becky Piano savings $100
• Azure $643
• Swimming $30
• Walmart $252
• Postmark $92
• Mommy Shoes $100
• Reuben next size up shoes $90
• Fresh Market bread to take to a potluck $23
• DMV $59 
• Home Depot $13

That brings our total spending to $1,557 for this week, leaving $593 left in our budget to roll over. 

What did I buy on postmark? I got Esther two cardigans. We looked at goodwill and target last week and there was nothing! I also got myself a 2 cardigans. I get cold in summer and I found I did not have what I wanted when unpacking my spring clothes.

The next item on my list was more shoes. I got Becky and Reuben shoes last week, but I had a few other items on my list--mainly a pair of shoes for me. Last summer, I really needed a pair of closed toed sandals and I am trying these Freet shoes from PedTerra. I have very wide feet and always buy the mens sizes so I hope these work...(they haven't arrived yet) I also saw while I was on the website that Reuben's Koel Madison sandals are being discontinued so I bought him a pair in size 39 for next summer. Reuben has a really high arch and very wide feet like his mother and...he also is prone to sweaty feet. He's wearing the 37 right now and I have a pair of 38s put up for him already but since we love these shoes I definitely want to stock up. He wears these sandals year round and I honestly don't know what he will wear when we can't find them. I love the Koel Madison sandals and I cannot find them anywhere to purchase in the USA in a wide variety of sizes...or any sandals that look comparable. Hopefully they will make more and PedTerra will stock them. 

What did I order from Azure? Oh, so many things! Einkorn penne, sourdough sandwich bread, brown rice, einkorn flour, sourdough spaghetti, frozen raspberries, strawberries and cranberries, paprika powder, smoked paprika, parsley, basil, garlic powder, lemon pepper, sourdough crackers, chocolate rounds in Mexicano, dark, eggnog, and salted, summer sausage, A2 strawberry yogurt, A2 vanilla yogurt, Bagels plain and cinnamon raisin, raw cheese, Lavender caramels, peppermint cups, and peanut butter cups. In total my order was 15 cases for 115 lbs. 

Remember in last week's budget I saved 100 for raw milk and 100 for piano and 100 for cognitive brain development? We are not moving forward with brain development and thus I will split that savings between the milk and piano, bringing those buckets up to 150 each. So now our savings buckets hold:

• Raw Milk $200
• Becky Piano $250

Our raw milk payment is due in April 2026 and piano is due in May 2026. 

On our credit card, we put Brians gym membership ($35, YMCA) and the payment to file our taxes ($185) which, total, was a little over $200...I need to keep better track of what goes on the credit card. We pay it off every month but since my husband has it, I don't usually think about what is going on it and I don't check it. 

Budgeting is never easy. What does your budget look like? 

More Thoughts

Today I decided to see if I have alpha gal. I will be giving up all dairy and meat products (except chicken) and seeing if I get better. If it is alpha gal, I am excited to find the reason behind all my increasingly bizarre symptoms. But I am also crushed, because I love cheese. And raw milk. And meatballs. 

Things have been getting worse lately though. I can't live with these constant hives, allergy attacks, fatigue, bloating, itchy throat and middle-of-the-night wake ups with severe runny nose and hives anymore! If this is the reason cutting out all meat and dairy should help me feel better. 

The kids are currently watching pepa pig and I'm trying not to panic over changing our whole eating habits again... what will I eat? I love vegetables, but I know I will miss a lot of dairy...how will I get iron if I really have this disease? I am not sure. But I do trust God! We have a whole day of homeschooling ahead of us and I need to go shower, and make breakfast and modify my next azure order for sure...I'll need dairy free yogurt and I can get rid of the large beef order I was making...I need to look into a milk alternative that isn't full of preservatives and additives, perhaps I'll start making my own coconut milk again. I love to have milk in my tea. 

This is going to be a process. I would love some prayers through the next few weeks! And some vegan meal ideas would be an added bonus. With two members of my family allergic to beans, and now me maybe allergic to meats, it's going to be extremely interesting around here...

But if I feel better...

Can I hope to feel better? I"ll take it. And I'm looking into options to heal myself too. But first, I need to get better and affirm I actually have this. Because the other option is mast cell disease and that doesn't sound any fun either. 

Also, where did I get this alpha gal from? I had Lyme back in 2020, 2021, and I have a chronic illness, but these hives/allergy attacks didn't start until...maybe postpartum with Esther (2023) at the earliest. I didn't have this stuff when I was suffering from Lyme in 2020 and 2021. And I don't have Lyme symptoms right now. 

I guess I'll never know the answer to how it happened...but if I can find the answer to my symptoms and heal, it probably doesn't matter.

Time to shower!

Thoughts

My days are so full now, I really don't know how I fit everything in. Also, I had hives on the top of my mouth basically the entire day. I don't know what is causing it but the top of my mouth and ears are quite itchy and it's very annoying. If I knew what I was eating...I mean, the first thing I had this morning was an electrolyte drink and...instant hives. They went away right before breakfast where I had a English muffin with egg and beef bacon on it. More hives, and these ones did not go away. It's been 12 hours since I had breakfast and I'm still itchy and annoyed. 

By the way, I have that electrolyte drink almost every day and am fine. Sometimes it gives me hives though. 

I don't know what is wrong with me. Maybe I have alpha gal? Maybe it's mast cell disease? Whatever it is, my body hates me. 

Anyway. We got through all of our school today except for math, which I plan to do tomorrow with Becky. Reuben will start back in math March 23 and we will probably do it all summer. But that's okay. He has had a 13 week break from math due to cognitive brain development and it was much needed. 

Oh, he has grown so much! His reading and writing have drastically improved! I am thrilled. I can't wait to see how it helps Becky and of course, to add the equipping minds program to our home-school days. It's been a blessing for me too. 

Becky read me a book that her and grandma wrote today. It was a dream come true to hear her read her book to me! She's come so far. Before we started the Barton Reading Program with her she struggled with recognizing letters and couldn't read at all. Now she can recognize all her letters, say sounds, and read some 3 and 4 letter words! She's thrilled and she should be, she's working so hard. Becky is on Barton box 3.

This week is packed full of all the homeschooling things. Tomorrow is piano, and we want to go swimming on Friday, and I need to figure out if we will join back into our co-op now that cognitive brain therapy is done...Today I took Esther to the park while Becky worked with grandma. It was interesting being out with only a toddler! We got some special time together... its sweet to spend time just with her. As a mom of three, I'm usually so busy it's all a blur and she gets lost in the mayhem. I need more moments like this with each of my kids.  

 The flu is still going around, I am praying hard I don't get it. 

Today we finished Treasure Island. And I have started reading Phineas Redux again by Anthony Trollope. It's been a good day I hope the Lord brings another one tomorrow. 

My heart is hurting over the news of war in Iran. I don't have anything political to say, only that war--necessary or not--always hurts innocent people. And that is what makes me sad. 

It has been A Week.

Like the title says! We started the week with temperatures in the low to mid 40s and now we are in the mid 70s! The high was 76f today and it was beautiful. Absolutely lovely. I have plans this weekend to clean out the herb garden (it used to be a sandbox!) and maybe the vegetable garden. Spring has sprung, at least for the foreseeable forecast. Planting might happens...soon!

We have gone to the park twice this week. It's been so beautiful. The kids have been loving the weather too.

Reuben is almost done with cognitive brain development. His writing is better, and his spelling a little bit too! His cognitive skills have improved. He has memorized over 30 presidents! And played a lot of games. We loved the Equipping Minds program and now that I have done it with a tutor for Reuben, I think I can do it at home with Becky and forgo paying for tutoring which will save us a bunch of money. My husband had a long talk with me yesterday about this and we decided I will do the program with her. 

I had reached out to Jill of the Einstein Reading Program and she finally got back to me and said her program is $3,800 for 40 lessons--one lesson each week. Well, I was excited about continuing her program since I only got 6 weeks of it from Kristal, our Equipping Minds teacher, but for that price point we just can't right now. I feel peace about it. I think I will try to save up this year and see if Reuben or Becky needs it next year, if Barton doesn't work out for them. Reuben will start the barton reading and spelling program since I already own it and have been doing it with Becky. Well, my mom is doing it with her. But you get what I mean.  

my cutie.

We also had a very crazy bit of news that went into my choice to stop doing the Equipping Minds program that maybe one day I will share, but not right now. I'm still wounded over it and need time to adjust. I don't know what to think and am gathering my thoughts. It does not involve our family so rest assured, we are all well and love each other quite amiably. 

God is so good. I am so glad I live where there is spring. I know soon it will be 700 degrees and I'll be wilting inside with ice cubes and ceiling fans but I'll take perfection when I can. 

I want to make time to paint today. 

The kids have requested mini-hamburgers and mac and cheese for dinner today! Since we have biscuits and gravy for breakfast and...bagels for lunch, I think a nice well rounded meal will be great for dinner. What is a mini-hamburger? I think most places call them sliders. But when we only have 1 pound of ground beef, tiny hamburgers are perfection. 

Esther is taking the greatest nap after our park day. She was so tired on the way home! I had Becky and Reuben chatting her up on the drive. She ate a bowl of cereal as a snack and started falling asleep at the table so I scooped her up and she's currently curled in Becky's papasan chair snoozing away.

 Bring on the ice cream and the fun, silly summer. I'm ready.

The Weeks Feel So Long

Here we are again, at the tail end of a long homeschooling week, where I cooked every meal...okay, I didn't make every meal actually I think my husband made one last weekend and Reuben made fries one night...but besides that I did, in fact, cook every meal and clean every floor. 

I feel tired but happy. Sometimes I get down about all the work there is to do. It literally never ends. There is always one more wall I could wipe down (those dirty fingerprints!) or chair to clean, one more corner to dust or thing to put away...but I know now, after 39 years of existing, that this life I have built is a privilege. 

It is a privilege to care for my family, to educate them, to nurture them well and to hopefully rear them to love and honor the Lord. I feel deeply grateful that this week despite my ongoing chronic issues and my own emotional ups and downs...and my spiritual struggles, I was able to take it moment by moment and here I am listening to my happy children jump on the trampoline in the 50 degree weather, a new spring here at our doorstep and...dinner still to plan tonight. Granted, many moments were chaotic and crazy and I remain certainly humbled in my motherhood. 

There was a toddler tantrum today when we had to leave the pool. And one of my kids walloped another kid in the face and there were many tears shed and arnica administered. I would have given said child pulsatilla if I'd had it...but I didn't. And there was a rush to make lunch because everyone was hungry after swimming...but we made it through afternoon school today and all is well in the dawn of a new spring and the excitement of a empty afternoon of playtime. 

It was a good day and I won't let the things I didn't get done ruin it. We had beauty, we made memories and we read books. Perfection couldn't dream any bigger.

But the week did feel very long. Day after day, the same rotation of to-do. Breakfast, devotions, dishes, homeschooling. Piano, laundry, pleasure reading (Treasure Island!) and playtime, if it isn't raining, hopefully outside. It rained a lot this week. 

Tomorrow promises even more beauty! It is forecast to be 66 degrees where we live and that sounds heavenly. I need to start planning a garden. Dare we do it? Dare we try to grow something with a toddler and chronic fatigue? Maybe this year I will dare. My 10 year old can probably do a lot of it on his own and he wants to, too. And life is never perfect. Perhaps the lesson my children and I need to learn this year is how to live amidst very real and very challenging imperfections... well, we have those every year but I'm not getting any younger and my health, even as I devote more and more time to it...seems to be on a slow but definitely downward trend. 

The kids with their Paper Sloyd creations <3

Some months I have a week of good health. Some years I have a month of good health. I want to learn to thank the Lord that here I am, still, serving him, even with severe IBS, fatigue, pain, heart trouble, vision problems, diabetes and vein issues. Last week I had an amazing day of health and energy...! It was wonderful. I had energy into the afternoon! I felt human and it was nice to not have to exert so much energy just to exist. 

The good days that are peppered into all the bad keep me going, keep me hoping for another one... the Lord is my strength and I believe he sends me these rainbow days as bright gifts, drops of alabaster in the wreckage that is my life. I don't know what God is doing, and I don't know why I suffer like this, but I will continue to praise him. 

Now I need to go and figure out what's for dinner...I'm thinking salmon, rice, and some type of veggie...

Tuesday Thoughts

I feel like in motherhood I'm either exhausted or my house is a mess and I haven't brushed the toddler's hair in who knows how long. Is there a middle ground? Sometimes I'm exhausted AND my house is a mess. It's probably because I have a chronic illness. And a two year old. 

We just got back from back to back piano lessons. My daughter (age 8, Year 2) is doing the Suzuki method and then we fly across town for my son's (age 10, Year 5) lessons. They both have such amazing piano teachers who suit their personalities and challenge them...but almost every Tuesday I wonder why I am doing this again. I do think music is important, but so is my sanity. 

Reuben has achieved a new high in the Equipping Mind Cognitive Brain Program. By this I mean he has quit sulking, pouting and complaining and seems to be enjoying it again, and I'm glad to see his spirits thriving. We are six weeks in now, and I am still not sure about it...

It's been a lot of work. And it is very expensive. I think it is helping Reuben but I am not sure this is the best program for Becky...I always feel as a mom I am making the wrong decision, and failing my children. This reaction in me is so irritating! Why can't I trust myself? Also, I'm human and allowed to make mistakes too. But when it comes to my children and their education I hate feeling helpless and seeing them stuck. I remember feeling that way as a child and wondering what was wrong with me and I never wanted them to go through that. 

I know I need to pray more and lean into God and his heavenly mercies. I do trust God. But what if I'm missing something? What if I needed to wait and things would be fine? Every week I ask myself if this is the right step for my children and every week we keep going. I told Reuben when he asked if he was better yet, that well, if it doesn't work that's okay, we will have found something that didn't work and that will bring us one more step closer to what should work. I just don't want to unnecessarily torture my children with burdensome curriculums...

We have started on the Einstein Reading Program by Jill M. Ham, from the Children's Dyslexia Center of Georgia. It's so great. Kristel Knaus is who we are using for cognitive brain therapy and she gave us six weeks of the Einstein Program, and I can't for the life of me figure out if there is more of it. Kristel says there is but she doesn't have it. So, I messaged Jill M. Ham last week and I am still waiting to hear back if I can purchase more of it...Jill responded right away when I texted her last week but she hasn't responded since even though I sent a follow up message. Going to give it a few days--maybe she's traveling or there is an illness in her family... I do love this program though. It makes spelling, writing and reading fluid and very streamlined AND the lessons are straightforward and easy to understand for me, which is a relief. I can't find anything about this program when I google it! I think this lady made it up on the fly and isn't even selling it anywhere! Egads! I must have it. When something works, and is made well... it's so frustrating when it is inaccessible! 

Anyway, after we got home from piano I ate an entire chocolate bar and Reuben is downstairs making brownies for his cooking lesson and I've already broken up three fights between the girls while typing this. We still have afternoon subjects--only one today, I'm supposed to do paper sloyd. I want to lay in bed and drink tea, but I think I will power through and THEN lay in bed and drink tea and read a novel with my kids. We are almost done with Winter Holiday and I love it. Will Nancy ever get better from the mumps? The kids and I are hooked. I'm reading that one aloud but we are also listening to Treasure Island on audio. Good books feed the soul. 

I need some adult book recommendations for myself. I have been reading Phineas Redux but I've gotten tired of it. What should I try next? I love Anthony Trollope but please if he has to talk about parliament for one more chapter I think I might fall asleep. I liked the one about the Eustace Diamonds better. She was a narcissist, wasn't she, but I wanted her to end up happy. I don't think she did. 

Apparently that character, Lizzie, is also in Phineas Redux but I cannot get over how angry I am about the last book, Phineas Finn, which had a character that I loved in it and they killed her off in the first chapter of Phineas Redux. And she was the sweetest! And most patient!! Ugh! I can't get over it. Why, Trollope, why, do you have no heart? Livid is an apt way to describe my mood after reading that! Perhaps that is why I can't get into Phineas Redux. I won't contextualize so I don't spoil the story too much, if you haven't read it... 

I need to go clean something to work off my ire over that book. Oh, I need to clean anyway because I have three kids and a type-A personality. 

And paper sloyd is calling...it's a wonderful thing to have leftover soup for dinner and a pre-teen who is making brownies for tea. 

I Stand With Erika Kirk

I have been thinking about this for a long time. When Charlie Kirk was shot, I honestly didn't know who he was. I thought he was Ben Shapiro, I got the two of them confused and they don't even look like each other, but it's the truth...I also got Matt Walsh mixed up in there with them! I had seen a few of each of their (short form content) videos and as they both talked about politics and I never followed any of them it all kind of ran together. 

It has been five months since Charlie Kirk was shot and I have watched many of his videos and heard about him many times on the news since. I am grieved that there is so much controversy and conspiracy over his death! I want justice for Charlie Kirk and my inquisitive heart also wants clarity. 

I also know who Candace Owens is and honestly, I really like her. I like how she does her own thing and tries to stands up for truth. If you have seen any of her videos you can tell she absolutely believes what she is saying and doesn't hold back on her investigative journalism. She stands apart from conservative and liberal news agencies as somewhere in the middle... I have been following her reporting on Charlie's death and I definitely believe that Tyler Robinson was involved somehow but I don't think he pulled the trigger. There are many odd things about that case and I am hopeful we will live to see true justice for Charlie carried out here on earth. I think Candace has a right to look into this and she's perfectly poised in the media world to delve into the nitty gritty of Charlie's assassination. 

I know that God knows exactly what happened on September 10th when Charlie was shot, and that in the end, God wins. He will bring Charlie's murderer to justice on his own time. 

"Nothing is hidden that will not be made manifest, nor is anything secret that will not be known and come to light."(Luke 8:17)

God is working, and I believe and trust in him. 

This brings me to the ongoing controversy, between Erika Kirk and Candace Owens. 

I don't think Erika Kirk had anything to do with Charlie's death. And I don't think Erika has any ulterior or hidden motives in her past or present. 

I think Erika is suffering. She deeply misses her husband. She knows that Turning Point USA was highly cherished by him. And she thinks that by working hard to make his dream a reality she is keeping him alive...there is probably much more complexity behind her choice to assume the role of CEO of Turning Point, yet I feel the crux of it is either Charlie planned for her to take over after his death, or Erika thinks she is fulfilling his dreams/wishes. Her husband is dead, and she does not want to see him dream die with him. 

I also think Erika loves working. She loves to be busy. She's owned businesses before and she's a savvy businesswoman! She needs people around her who will encourage her to rest and take care of her family. Charlie, I am sure, loved his kids and his wife more than Turing Point USA. 

One of the problems is that Charlie, and Erika also--are both public figures. It is hard to grieve publicly. Being in the public eye is to be under intense scrutiny. The public can turn on you in a second. And the media plays a big part in that. 

I have seen the videos of Candace Owens coming out against Erika. The hard thing is--Erika is both a grieving widow and the CEO of Turning Point USA. These two things should not exist simultaneously. No one, after the public execution of their husband, should be working in an office mere weeks after such an atrocity. She shouldn't be helping his staff heal or telling them in meetings to take time off. She is in the midst of trauma and she needs, desperately, to have space to breathe and process. 

I think--that Erika is a Martha. You know, the Mary-Martha story--I'm oversimplifying here, but I think Erika, like Martha, likes to work. I also like to work. I like to be busy. Being still in the middle of a tragedy makes it worse. Ignoring it and working, and telling myself I am doing the right thing, even if I know it's wrong--it's easier. That is what I see in Erika. Someone who thinks she has to keep going. For Charlie, and for herself. It isn't that she has some underhanded plan. There is no subterfuge behind her actions. She is simply a human woman who is flawed and needs deep healing. I don't mean to say she can ever "heal" from the loss of her husband but she needs space to process what she has been through and she needs rest with her family and children. 

If Erika was my friend, I would tell her to go away somewhere for a year and just exist. Be with family and friends. Make waffles for your kids in the morning. Cry. Watch Elizabeth Elliott videos--her husband was murdered too. She has wise, wise words for hurting souls. 

You can't put a band-aid on a wound like the loss of your dearest friend, your husband, your solider in the midst of the world, the father of your children and your pillow confidant. Charlie was that and more to her.

Who Erika dated in the past doesn't matter. Stop digging up her past. I'm sure Charlie knew it. I don't see any red flags or issues with her past. Clearly she had problems and sin in her life before she was saved. Clearly she needs Jesus now just as much as she did as a 22 year old. 

I think Candace wants someone to blame. Candace loves the truth. But she can also fixate on supposed idiosyncrasies that are just life. A picture moved in Charlie's office doesn't mean they were on the brink of divorce. Erika saying she "lived in China" and then saying she was "just on a trip" isn't a big deal. I don't see any issues there, no hidden agenda, just a nuance of words. 

Candace is a conspiracy theorist, and there are a lot of conspiracy theories that are true. But just like police officers struggle with identifying innocent people because they see so much crime, I think here Candace is struggling to see normal grief because she deals with so many conspiracies. And obviously Candace and Erika are very different people, and I think Candace doesn't recognize the idea that grief can look so different. 

I think Erika is the wrong rock to look under. Candace can be wrong too. Candace has a hard time with that...she so desperately wants to find the why and the how behind her dear friend Charlie's death that she's burning bridges without thinking. 

So I stand with Erika. I may disagree with her actions after her husband death but I stand with her, grieve with her, and pray daily for her and her children.   

What do you think? 

Budget Feb 14-27 2026

Esther helped with the budget this week.

Last week and this coming week I was determined to not pull out any money from savings. Can we do it? We better, because we need to save money not spend it. 

Here is what we spent.

Feb 14-20th, Budget: 1,150

• Credit Card Payment: $300
• Electric Bill $266
• iCloud $10
• Hot Yoga $95
• Tithe 
• Youtube $23
• Walmart $154
• Postmark $23
• Gas $31
• Givens Books $26
• Etsy $88
• Amazon $62
• Bone Broth $30

The total for this week was $981 leaving $169 in the budget for next week. What did I buy on Etsy? I bought cards. I write a lot of letters and I love to have these on hand...the kids use them too. This was a want buy and not a need. I have no excuses. The Given's Book expense was also a want--I took the kids out to hot chocolate there and bought Esther an all-done-with-nursing gift. I do think this small outing was good for the moral of our family. Amazon was three things--a attachable bedside shelf for Becky's bunk bed so she can have her water cup sit next to her in bed and not have to climb up and down, (it's foldable! hopefully it works!!) a pair of bedroom slippers for Becky so her feet won't be cold, and a pack of colored pencils. 

Feb 21-27th, Budget: 1,319

• Save for Raw Milk Payment $100
• Save for Piano Lesson Payment $100
• Save for Cog Brain Payment $100
• Audible $23
• Waterbill $71
• Tithe 
• CRB Phone $25
• Subset $137
• Barton box 3 $415 
• Car Tax Bill $70

I forgot we needed a Barton box soon, or I wouldn't have bought all that underwear for the kids, and one bra for me from Subset. We love this brand tho. They are wedge-free, cotton, and comfortable. If you are prone to wedgies in underwear, check them out. It's perfection. 

But, because of that and buying the Barton box, this leaves $228 for gas and groceries....can we do it?  It will be hard. And I think we need diapers...We are about to go grocery shopping and I'm going to see how much cash I can find to use first! If we go over, it will come out of the $300 savings I was planning on banking up for future purchases next month...but no pulling out of our emergency savings account anymore. I will update this post next week with how we did.

Update Feb 21, 2:30 pm--we spent $100 at Krogers. Yay! Leaving 128 for gas and whatever else we need this week. 

Update Feb 27th, 8 am-- We spent $50 in gas and $50 on a new shelf at target for homeschool book, leaving $28 left in the budget to roll into next week. We didn't pull ANY money out of savings this fortnight and I'm so proud of us! 

Crochet Sweater

I finished my crochet sweater and I love it. It's completely handmade and free-form, no pattern! Of course, I always seem to finish things right when spring blooms, but that's okay. It is still cold enough to get a lot of wear out of. 

This sweater was made from...my desire to make a sweater, obviously, but with no funds for yarn. So I pulled out all the bright colors I had and this is what happened! It took about a year to make. Through weeks of homeschooling and chronic illness and weaning (and gently sleep training) our baby...so many milestones are stitched into this garment.

That's what I see when I look at it--the past year, and all the past projects, of course. Becky's baby blanket is the one that sticks out the most, as it was pink and purple. It actually got ruined and thrown out so it's nice I have the bits of leftover yarn in this sweater to remind me of it. 

And I made a nice dent in my stash. I have too much yarn. And yet, surprisingly, not enough yarn.

Next I need to finish up this sunflower shirt/sweater I am making...I'm so close! I started on it around the same time as this one, and have been working on whatever one sparks my interest. The sunflower sweater was stumping me for a long time but it's time to power through and figure out how to join the flower granny squares I made. 

February Sorrows

I'm weary of the grind recently. We are halfway through cognitive brain development with Reuben and it's lost a lot of the luster to him. I'm struggling to help him capture the spark of challenge and excitement he had in the beginning and it's started to feel like slogging through mud. 

But we persist. It's a good lesson that hard things are worth doing, and not everything that is profitable is fun.

We just purchased Becky's third Barton reading box which is exciting! She's doing well with it, but still struggling with fluency. She's sounding out every word. On every line. 

I wish we had a week off. We do have a month off coming up in April when Reuben finishes his cognitive brain development before Becky starts in May and I'm looking forward to it so much! The kids both have 2 weeks left of school in their perspective terms. Becky is finishing up term 2 of year 2 of Ambleside Online and Reuben is almost done with Term 1 of Year 5...time flies. I'm planning out summer break and wondering what I will fill it with--I'm thinking lots of swimming--between cognitive brain development lessons and barton. Everyone needs a break. I plan to have Becky finish Year 2, and Reuben to be at least halfway done with Year 5 before summer starts, but we will see. I want to finish by May so I may modify Becky's Year 2 so she can finish up...

Yesterday we went to the funeral for little Kemistry, pictured above with Becky holding her. She lived a short three months and will be missed so much...Becky spent almost all yesterday crying and missing her, and we've been talking and mourning all week. 

Death is a hard lesson to learn for any kids, and I would love if you would pray for Cyndi, Kemistry's mother, and Kimberly, my dear friend and her grandmother. She is in the sweet arms of Jesus where we all belong. 

Budget Feb 1-14th

This budget included the last payment for Reuben's cognitive brain development which was a relief. It also included a large credit card payment and our credit card is back to baseline...which is nice. We should have money going forward if we are careful and not idiots. 

I want to start making early payments for Becky's cognitive brain development so we don't get blindsided again. Also I need to start saving for our raw milk payment that comes up in April and Becky's piano that comes in May. We are so blessed to do so many things! God is good

We were blessed to go to Target. Becky had a gift card from her birthday and picked out this baby and some shorts and bought gummy snacks. It was a fun experience! She has named the baby Emily after some deliberation between Mia or Emily, Emily has stuck. 

Feb 1-7

This week the budget was $1,167.

• Pandora subscription $13
• Brian Phone $35
• Internet $20
• Trash pick up $32
• Tithe
• Becky new coat $14
• Credit Card Payment $600
• Walmart groceries $176
• SD card for Reuben's Switch $22

This left $205 to roll over into the next week.

Feb 8-14

This week the budget was $1,362. 

• Piano Reuben for Feb $120
• Tithe
• Credit Card Payment $600
• Azure $417
• Poshmark $39

This left $136 in our budget and I knew that wasn't enough because we had Reuben's last payment of cognitive brain development...so we pulled money out of savings. Which we did last budget and I said I wasn't going to do it this time...but we did. Next few paychecks we will pay back that money. But that is what savings are for. I pulled out $1000 to cover these expenses.

• Cog Brain Development $576
• Kroger 50
• Kinship Roasters $13
• Cava $61
• Our Fathers Farm $55
• Subset $79
• Health Nut Nutrition $49
• The Muse $43
• Homeopathic Consultation $180

This left $42 to roll into the next budget, but I just put it in our savings account when Brian was paid. What a fortnight! Happy Valentines Day! I got some candy for the kids from Azure and I'm so excited to give it to them tomorrow. 

Chronic Fatigue Is Awful

Well, we weaned Esther (it's been a little over two weeks...maybe she nursed once?) and last week I started having chronic fatigue symptoms again. It has been terrible. It's making me miserable and irritable and depressed. I'm trying to stay positive and find things to Thank God for and keep my eyes on the cross but when I can't do basic tasks in my home and making dinner takes all my focus and energy and leaves me feeling like I ran five miles carrying a load of bricks...it's so hard. I am exhausted. It's beyond exhaustion because sleep doesn't help. I get frustrated with my body and with the amount I can do...

I know God is good. He is so good! Even when I die, even 100 years from now when I am all but forgotten. He is so so so good, and I love him. And chronic fatigue is hard, and living with it right now is a struggle.

I am hoping it will go away as my hormones adjust from nursing. I think I remember last time it took two or three months and I had hot flashes and night sweats when I was weaning for a week or two... But I don't remember having chronic fatigue. 

Even more than the chronic fatigue I think something is wrong with my heart. It hurts more, and the top of it feels sore. Sometimes when I am so tired I check my O2 levels and heart rate and its 95 O2 and my heart rate is like 58. I usually have a heart rate in the 70s. So maybe I need to go back to the heart doctor? I don't know. I'm just tired. 

We had an absolute beautiful week though. Reuben got his arch expander off and is able to breathe a bit through his nose. It's not perfect but it's better. We celebrated Becky's best friend's birthday--it was lovely. The girls made rag dolls and had a tea party. It was birthday perfection. I had chronic fatigue on the way there and broke down crying twice but the kids didn't notice, thank goodness. I almost turned around but I made it. And I made it home after and took a two hour nap. I felt so useless. 

the girls with their rag dolls.

We had a lovely potluck with our church family too, a beautiful time of fellowship. God is so good. The kids had a blast and even though my chronic fatigue was there, I tried to keep it together. 

We have a busy week next week so hopefully I can get through this somehow, figure it out. I'm going to try a big mason jar of nettle tea tomorrow with some oatstraw and red raspberry leaf and other herbs. 

I don't know what I need or how to battle this, and I just want to sleep all the time but I have three kids and one is two and needs her mama. They all need their mama. I hope I can be around for them a lot longer then my body feels like it can...

nature group was freezing!

We did not get much homeschooling done this week too, between all the chronic fatigue and busyness. I had two doctor's appointments this week and we had that birthday party I mentioned and nature group. I also had to go to two different stores which we never do...it was a crazy week. I am hopeful that the next one will be more relaxed. 

The weekend is almost over and I need 12 more.

Budget Jan 17-30 2026

January 17th was my 39th birthday and January 23 was Becky's 8th birthday, so it was a month packed with birthdays and those come with a few extra expenses. 

But even with that, this budget is embarrassing. That's all I'll say. 

Week One: Jan 17th -23

This week the budget held 1,177. I knew that wasn't going to be enough. We pulled out $800 from savings to cover expenses making the budget for this week 1,977. Here is what I spent. 

• Feb payment for cognitive brain therapy $572
• My phone $25
• Yoga $85
• Tithe
• Vitamins $145
• Transfer to savings $150
• Aldi $22
• bought a movie from Youtube for kids $20
• Postmark 228 (this was all unnecessary...)
• Credit Card Payment $500

Total: $1797. This left $180 to roll over into next week.

Week Two: Jan 24-30 

This week's budget was 1,357 plus my dad sent me $100 in the mail for my birthday, making the total budget 1,457. 

• Audible $23
• Electic Bill $279
• Tithe 
• Credit Card Payment $500
• Cava $36
• Fresh Markey $23
• Mission Thrift $18
• Little Givens $28
• Waterbill $72
• Poshmark snow pants for Becky $11 (needed)
• Poshmark 108 (probably unnecessary stuff...) 
• Aldi 44
• Kroger 104
• Gas 24

That made our total $1,320 which left an amazing total of $137 in our account today while we wait for payday tomorrow, and a new budget. 

We also went out to eat for Becky's birthday but my husband used the credit card and so I don't know how much it was...I need to get with him to see those expenses. I keep not remembering the password and having to wait until he is off work and then we are too tired to talk about it. Anyway, I know we owe $1200 on our credit card still and we are trying not to use it. We need to take it out of his wallet! Putting that on my to-do list for next week...

In conclusion. I feel pretty awful about the budget these two weeks. Lots of honesty to say that, but it's true. I did a lot of postmark shopping for little items, $15 here and $20 there but it added up fast and I didn't keep track of what I was doing day to day. Most of it was stuff for the kids. I got two video games we don't have, a cup for Reuben, a travel chess set for him, and a dress for Becky to wear for her birthday, and other various things...The only thing we really needed were some snow pants for Becky as she has outgrown hers. 

I did buy myself a pair of pajamas from postmark but they were not delivered--no tracking--and I was refunded for those, we are waiting on the refund and I will add it to next week's budget. I do need pajamas but I could have waited.

Anyway, the poshmark stuff added up to $336 so I'm going to try to learn from my mistake going forward and just stay off that website unless I am looking for something specific. Paying $1000 on the credit card was ouchy and so was that cognitive brain therapy payment. We need to get the credit card payed off quickly and stop using it, and I'm so grateful we have only one more payment for cognitive brain therapy left, then we will need to save up for Becky's session, which starts in May. 

Well, I'm going to start school with the kids. Wish me luck! 

Snowmageddon

After Esther had the stomach bug, I woke up at midnight with it and threw up until 8:30am. Then I was pretty much comatose and weak until around 7pm--it was hard to walk, I was dizzy and definitely dehydrated and still just sipping water. The only thing I ate that day was homemade applesauce. Anyway, I'll spare you the gritty details, but we all ended up getting it, with poor little Esther having a relapse the next day--poor thing, she got it twice! 

It has now been over 24 hours since anyone has thrown up in my house and I am so so so grateful. The stomach bug is awful. May it never return. 

Everything is locked down this week. We have not been able to leave our home, well, even if we hadn't had the stomach bug. There was about 6 inches of snow and it all turned to ice! We missed church, cognitive brain development, two piano lessons, and picking up our raw milk. Our second cognitive brain development we did try today via zoom but it's not anywhere as good as in-person. 

The snow is beautiful. The kids are having a blast sledding on it--kids really bounce back much easier than adults from sickness. With below-freezing temperatures all week I don't know if we will get out until next week? I don't want to miss swim lessons and I really want to pick up my milk! Brian is going to try to get out tomorrow...It's been so crazy being cooped up inside doing laundry and recovering from, well, throwing up everywhere. At least we had electricity or I really don't know how we would have survived? 

This is our road Tuesday. Packed snow. It has not been plowed and we keep waiting for it to be but...I'm still waiting...

This is our road Wednesday. It's basically just ice. I'm not sure if the picture does it justice...It's terrible and I don't know how they will plough it because how can you plough ice?

This is my happy snow bunny. 

We start school back tomorrow because this homeschool, at least, only takes breaks when we are sick. Or have too many appointments...or if I want too. And being stuck at home is a perfect time to crack open some books and read on. 

God is so good and I'm glad to see the beautiful snow even if it does mess up all my plans.

Becky Turns 8

Becky's birthday was perfection sandwiched between snowmageddon prep and the stomach bug, which hit Esther at 2am today. We are not recovering and I have piles of laundry. 

It is currently raining ice outside while my two year old watches bluey on repeat next to a bucket. We've gone through all the towels and most of the blankets twice since 2am. Brian started out the night half asleep because he picked up his mother at the airport at 11am on Saterday (the 23) and thus got less rest when we were awoken at 2am... Both of us were awake from 2-4 as Esther needed a lot of help. One adult to care for her and the other one to clean up messes/fetch towels. 

One parent slept from 4-7 and the other parent slept from 10:30-1:30. I"ll let you guess which one based on my spelling and coherency. We are also expecting 6-24 inches of snow and I am praying the electricity stays on and that we can make it out of our house by Wednesday because I have places to go and being cooped up for too long makes me depressed. Welcome to my first world problems. 

I forgot to buy chocolate too. Woe knows no bounds.

OH, but Becky's birthday was glorious. We had all her friends and everything just flowed and jived perfectly. I listened to all the moms talk while trying to take pictures and savor the moments. She is divine and I love her. Happy eight years, Rebekah! I love you.

You can't tell from the pictures how wonderful it was. I am not a good photographer anymore--so much out of practice. But it was! We got a cake, chocolate because it's Becky's favorite. I made a raw cheese plate, sourdough crackers, einkorn chocolate chip cookies and a fruit platter. We sang happy birthday and opened presents. It was just perfect. Becky picked La Carreta as her Birthday out-to-eat and we all enjoyed Mexican junk food, which hopefully did not contribute to the problem the following morning. 

It was just a wholesome, good day celebrating my middle child! 

I hired one of my good friends Kimmy to come do face paint and it was perfection! Really, a dream birthday for my Becky. She positively radiated happiness all day. 

What a beautiful day. And she gets, hopefully, some great snow to play in this weekend as a late birthday surprise, as long as the stomach bug doesn't decide to take us out one by one over the next few days...

I dosed everyone with activated charcoal. And prayers. Lots of prayers. 

And that was Becky's 8th birthday, I'll never forget it and I'm sure she won't either. 

You'd Think The World Was Ending

Tomorrow (Friday 1/23) my beautiful wonderful daughter Becky turns 8. She's excited, I'm excited, we have a party planned with cake and all the things..,

Yet, the day after tomorrow (Saterday 1/24) at 8pm there is supposed to be a snow apocalypse and all of central Virginia where I live is apparently freaking out. Okay, okay, they are calling for 14-24 inches of snow and maybe some ice and I get it, that's quite a lot but THERE IS NO FOOD AT THE STORE. 

Okay, there was some food. But no onions. NO berries for Becky's party (I'm going to look tomorrow at another store) and we might have got one of the last boxes of size 6 diapers. What is going on? I don't understand. WHERE IS ALL THE FOOD? My town has lost its mind. This is crazy. 

I know they will restock, but really, GERAD DID YOU need to buy all the onions? 

It's giving 2020-2021 pandemic vibes. Anyone else remember when everything was gone from the store? 

Today was such a beautiful day. We went to nature group and enjoyed beautiful balmy 40 degree weather, which is the high for the week...I looked at our weather app and saw things like "5" and "15" and decided I'm not leaving the house until spring comes. I will hibernate with my babies and drink hot chocolate with my raw milk and eat lots of fresh sourdough bread. I need more blankets, or perhaps I need to move south. Both sound like very feasible options. 

Anyway, today was great. We all got some sun in nature group!

Poor Esther decided she didn't want to walk back to the car and so Becky gave her a piggy back half the way and Lina (Becky's friend from nature group) carried her the other half of the way. It was so sweet. I am so glad they helped because my mom-meter had reached boiling and I just wanted to leave... I need to learn more patience. Esther's only two. And she's wonderful. Mom guilt is hard... I'm not good with stubborn two-year-olds sometimes. 

Our Nature Group is the best. Two of Becky's little friends will be at her birthday tea party tomorrow! 

I hope I can find onions. And strawberries.

If today was this crazy at the store, I wonder what tomorrow will be like?!

As I was braiding Becky's hair tonight I told her it would be the last time I braided her hair as a 7-year old girl and she was like oh no! I don't know how to braid my own hair! And I was like...it's because tomorrow you will be EIGHT silly and I"ll braid your 8 year old hair!! And then we all laughed and laughed and I love my family.