Monday, February 1, 2016

Marriage after Baby?

If I had to pick a theme song for the last six months of my life, I think it would sound like a mix between a Donald Trump commercial and a tornado. Six months ago I birthed a human. Since then I have been trying to catch up, slow down, stop, go, sit and make bacon and eggs while simultaneously juggling.

I burned the eggs.

But I still deserve an award. 

Also I should, you know, probably be working on that thing that helped create said offspring, right? My marriage? 

Last week I was unpacking some books and I found the dusty copy of The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman (we also read his book "Things I Wish I'd Known Before We Got Married "). I remember when hubby and I picked out these books for our premarital counseling sessions (in fact I think I blogged about it here). I also remember how revolutionary it was to the first two years of our marriage. I credit Chapman's book with helping me understand Brian in many ways.
look at us all cute and unmarried... XD
As a bright eyed engaged woman my love languages were physical touch and words of affirmation (if I am remembering correctly?) and darling boyfriend's were touch and quality time. I remember thinking smugly that since one of gifts overlapped, things would be easy. 

On an unrelated note does anyone have a time machine so I can go back and slap myself with a fish? You are right, it probably wouldn't help. And I'd smell, well, rather fishy. Doesn't make for a good love story.

Continuing on-- into marriage that is. Now I really get to put those things I learned in that book to work! Right off the bat my love languages changed! Apparently cohabiting and priorities can shift my desires, needs and wants too, who knew! Now the things that show me love the most are gifts and acts of service. Boy, do I love gifts!

Husbands desires remained placidly the same. Must be nice to be even tempered. I should try it some time. 

The book did help. If I wanted to do something special for husband I only had to think of his love language. Touch is the way he prefers to communicate with me. I learned to make snuggles and quality time (sans iPhone) priorities in my life because nothing made my husband think I was being disrespectful more than sitting with him but staring at my iPhone the whole time. Also, learning my love language helps me verbalize what I need to my husband. I have been known to melt into my husband's arms when he spontaneously buys me chocolate at the grochery store.

And then we had a baby and now I am lucky if I remember to brush my teeth.

Linking up all month with Brita over at BelleBrita!
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