Sunday, February 14, 2016

Marital roles

If I could say anything about my marriage, it is simply that my husband and I have very similar ideals when it comes to roles. We matched effortlessly on almost everything! If I hadn't been so much in love I would have found it uncanny.

We have very complementarian roles. But it was something we both choose and wanted for ourselves and it is something that also works extremely well. We did try different things in the first year of marriage but in the last two years we've settled into a routine that we are both (for the most part) really happy with.

My husband works full time, so he makes 99% of the money. We have completely separate bank accounts. He takes care of all the bills, and pays for everything (we go grochery shopping together every Sunday afternoon). All of his money is put into his account, and then he gives me a little bit of spending money every two weeks into a separate account (mine) for me to spend on whatever I want (because asking my husband for money is not a thing I think is healthy in marriage; he's my husband, not my dad). The "personal" money amount he gives me is something we decided on together when working out a budget. I also make a little bit of money from selling locally and from YouTube, and that is my money as well.

I do most of  the chores at home, with the exception being mowing the yard. My husband actually loves mowing the yard for some strange reason (?) and it does not sound at all appealing to me so I gladly let him do it. I cook. My husband hates cooking. His idea of cooking is takeout. When I am sick this sucks, because I don't like takeout when I'm ill. But most of the time it's okay. (Drive through Panera Chicken Noodle Soup is my go-to). I still remember the first time I was sick and my husband tried to feed me 10 cent microwave ramen. It did not go over well.

We didn't really think about how to structure our roles much. We both just fell into it this way and with a little bit of wiggle, created something that works. To outsiders, it can kinda look like my husband is controlling. He isn't. He's very loving and if I want to buy something big for the house or I have an idea he's always open to talking about it and buying something if needed. And if I really wanted to I could "save" the bimonthly money he gives me and purchase whatever I wanted myself, or get a job. (I did try to sell Arbonne, but everyone I tried to sell it to said it was to expensive, so I quit). I am much more of an impulse buyer, and having someone who is more of a thinker when it comes to buying things helps me a lot. I have a hard time saving any of my "wife allowance" money as it is. This month I spent it on things for Reuben's nursery! I can't wait for them to get here. Last month I bought the 21 day fix from beachbody and some graphics for my website (the background and home and social media icons) and a pretty new diaper cover for Reuben from Etsy. The month before that I bought leggings from Etsy...

Anyway, I digress. Marital roles can be complicated and I am glad we've worked out the kinks in ours. And I am glad we matched up so perfectly with many of them!

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