I am a do-it-yourself girl. I hate bothering people and during my first trimester my husband did mostly everything. I'm saying he took care of himself, and me on top of going to work. I was a mess because my body was falling apart and I literally couldn't take care of myself many days. I didn't know what was going on and I just felt sick all the time. And I was frustrated over the way I felt. My husband had to do everything.
And I had to lean on God and I had to lean on my husband. I had to stop feeling sorry for myself and just try to get through everything. Before my morning sickness I was used to a very full day of doing chores, taking care of the house, running errands and running my blog and YouTube channel. I'm a very compact and organized person, I know how to make a schedule and work through it. This is a very satisfying and very familiar routine for me.
|this is my pregnancy motto|
I know I speak from a place of privilege: for one, I am having a baby. There are many people who go through this type of shock who are sick because of cancer or another serious illness. I also was very lucky that I didn't have to leave my house--I don't work. I cannot imagine holding a job when I could barely hold my head up.
But going through this really helped me rely on God and realize how blessed I was before. Before, and even now in my second trimester when I have a healthy body that obeys my commands, I was/am so blessed! I totally used to take it for granted. I didn't know how fast my health could change and how suddenly it would knock me off my feet. Now I know. And I want to be grateful for every day. I'm so blessed and thankful that I can fold a load of laundry and wash dishes and knit something without feeling like I'm in a tilt-a-whirl. I'm blessed that I can make my husband dinner every night and he doesn't have to come home and take care of me and make sure I eat something. I'm blessed because I can shower every day and wear clothes that aren't primary made of sweats. I'm so blessed.
And I hope I never forget it.