Tuesday, August 27, 2013

My Biggest Fear

Are you ever afraid of something?

I'm extremely scared of needles. I hate shots. I hate having my blood drawn. I am so scared of needles that I'd really rather just stay home and suffer then go to the doctor where they might decide to poke me.
I know, its almost statistically impossible to die from having your blood taken, but for some reason I become convinced every time that the nurse is going to accidentally kill me. And yes, I do feel a bit silly afterwards--no matter how real it feels at the time. My logical brain chanting-- its not going to kill you--is always trumped by the  feeling that I'm about to die a terrible and very theatrical death.

Do you have any unreasonable fears? Or is it just me? I'm also afraid of eyes. No really. I hate it when people touch their eyes or take their contacts out. Eww.

Anyway, that brings me to a story. The story of the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me.

So, I had to get blood work done. I knew I had to get it done, but I hadn't made the appointment yet. I cried in the shower thinking about making the appointment. I cried after the shower, hoping God would intervene and I wouldn't have to make the appointment. I called my husband and told him I was about to make the appointment. His encouraging texts made me smile through my tears.

My plan was to make the appointment some time tomorrow or the next day (it had to be within 48 hours) when my husband was on lunch so that he could be there. My best friend Larkin was supposed to come over today and we were going to tie dye. It was 10am. I dried my tears and called.

Nurse: Oh, that's easy. Just come by in the next 30 minutes and we'll take care of it.
Me: You mean right now? 
Nurse: Are you busy?
Me: ....no.
Nurse: Okay, see you in 30. Click
Me: OMG!

It was two hours till my husbands lunch. He was in meetings. He couldn't come. My mom lives an hour away and was at work. My sister has two kids. I was going to have to go alone.

Words cannot describe he sheer amount of panic I was feeling at that moment.

Wait--I thought, I'll call my friend! Frantically I called her. I was still crying. I really wasn't kidding when I said having blood work done was my first and greatest fear. She didn't pick up. She keeps different hours then me, usually staying up until 1 or 2 when I go to bed at 10. I called again. And again.

Finally I called her roommate. I bought my wedding cake from her, so I still had her number. She picked up! She seemed kinda confused as to why I wanted her to wake up Larkin, but she did. Yay. And Larkin wasn't mad at me! Double yay. She said she would come. The clouds lifted. I might survive.
So I picked her up and she talked to me and held my hand while the doctor took my blood and, basically saved me from a terrible and painful death by syringe. Haha. I really would have totally freaked without her.

Whats your biggest fear?


Rachel G said...

Last time I had my blood drawn, I played a game on Angel's cell phone and he held onto me. For me, it's not so much that I'm afraid or think I will die dramatically....but it's very, very hard for me to hold still and let somebody poke me. I just want to move, fight back, not let them touch me, and generally be unhelpful. So I just try to distract myself to not think anything is happening. And mostly I avoid doctors.

Kristin said...

I'm not afraid of shots or needles, but I'm not very fond of them either. :) I get dizzy and light-headed when someone is approaching me with a needle. Or at least I did...the last time I had a shot was in middle school.

Charlotte Paris Wood said...

My grandmother has a fear of her car going over a bridge, landing in water, and not being able to get out. She has a special hammer to break the window. She bought everyone in the family the same kind of special under-water-car-window hammer. She's cute. :) She reminded me where her hammer was the last time I drove her over a bridge.

What you need, is a special nurse hammer. ;)

Tori Bragg said...

I don't like needles either, but I've had to deal with them so many times I've just learned to turn my head and try to relax while I wait for it to be over with. Sometimes I get scared they're gonna kill me too, but mostly the thought and sensation of a needle piercing my skin just freaks me out. Like really gory episodes of crime shows :P

katie terry said...

Needles don't bother me. I think they're a love-'em-or-hate'em thing -- I've got a few piercings, and want more (and I hear tattoos are worse, even more addicting!). In my early 20s I developed this really strange (for me) fear of heights. Being on high balconies, driving near cliffs, even flying got to be really anxiety-inducing. The flying part settled down, but other heights still make me really uncomfortable. So, naturally, the mister has convinced me to take up rock climbing. =) So far so good, ish, though I still freeze about 15-20 feet off the ground.

Ellie said...

My biggest fear is Deer, I was attacked by a deer when I was 13 and have been scared of them ever since xxx

Carolynn said...

I can see how that would be super scary o.o hugs!

Carolynn said...

wow, you are brave. I don't like heights either!

Carolynn said...

O_O exactly! I can't just turn my head, through, unless there is someone there! Usually my husband holds me. Or, before him, my mom.

Cliff Coates said...

A suggestion: I'm not a fan of needles (though I'm not afraid of them either), but I make sure I don't look at them while they're being stuck in me or are still in me. If I look at anything else in the room and keep my arm still, it's not too bad. Just a thought... :)

Charlotte said...

Huzzah for good friends!

I'm also deathly afraid of needles. The deep ocean, too, and all its scary creatures.