I still, of course, edit using a potato. And film whilst holding an 8 month old, so...don't expect quality. It's the thought that counts.
3/30/16
Week 30
I started weekly vlogging 30 weeks ago. What made me desire to begin is how fleeting time is. I think Reuben was 6 weeks when I began. I don't want to forget all the little moments! I can't capture everything, but one day when I'm old, or when Reuben is old or maybe when my great grandchildren are curious about life in good ol' 2016 we can all look back and see all the small things. And the big things.
I still, of course, edit using a potato. And film whilst holding an 8 month old, so...don't expect quality. It's the thought that counts.
I still, of course, edit using a potato. And film whilst holding an 8 month old, so...don't expect quality. It's the thought that counts.
3/28/16
The Parenting Competition
"At least you get to go to work!" I told Mr. Adventure, one day. "I don't ever get a break. You get to eat lunch by yourself! In the morning...every morning you get to shower alone without asking anyone to hold a baby, or waiting for a baby to cry because he is tired of you being in the shower..."
Mr. Adventure looked puzzled. "What do you mean?" He said. "You get to stay home all day with Reuben. I would love to do that."
And that's when the fight began.
Whose job is harder? I think we argued about it for a few days before I gave up in exasperation, chalking it up to him just not understanding how difficult staying at home with Reuben actually was. Now that I think about it, I suppose he felt the same?
I remember one thing he said quite vividly. We were sitting on the couch watching Reuben play, and Brian candidly said, "Watching Reuben is easy. Look, he's just playing by himself."
I think my pot boiled over at that point. "When you watch him you just hold him." I said. "You don't have to try to cook at the same time, or do laundry, or go to the supermarket or..."
"I never thought of that." He said. "But it doesn't sound too hard."
Ugh.
But really, I don't know when I got into this mindset that parenting was a competition. Why does it matter so much to me that my husband acknowledges what a "sacrifice" it is when I watch our son every day? Why is it important that he understands how hard my day is, so much harder than his?
I must have a huge ego problem.
I decided to change my thinking. Instead of thinking about how long my days were, and how I rarely get time to myself anymore, and how much I'd love to spend more than 5 minutes in a shower--I decided to think about every day as a gift. Because every day is a gift. One day Reuben will be in college or maybe living abroad and I won't be able to cover his face in kisses every morning and tickle his feet.
And I just don't want to think of raising him as a chore. Yes, it's hard. Yes, it's impossibly hard sometimes. But he is a person, and worthy of love. I don't want to spend my years pining away for my personal freedom--I want to spend them learning and growing with Reuben. He is a gift from God, and I am not worthy of him. And he didn't take away all my freedom and time! Instead, he filled my heart and life with happy smiles, warm cuddles, and an occasional poop-filled diaper. I chose to bring him into this world and I couldn't be more happy that he is finally here.
When I started to think of this, my attitude improved greatly. Not only did Mr. Adventure start to arrive home to a happy, smiling wife instead of a grumpy, dissatisfied and worn out wife who demanded attention and freedom, I started to actually enjoy most of my day. Is it still really hard sometimes? Yes! But instead of letting this fact totally overwhelm me, I just think about how much I love my son and how precious this time with Reuben is when he is small and how I'll never get it back--and it helps put things into perspective. I love him. He loves me.
I could care less now whose job is "harder". I don't think that term even applies to what we are doing. We are both raising a wonderful son, and working on a wonderful marriage. Mr. Adventure is doing what he can do, and I am doing what I can do. We are both blessed. And there is no prize like a bowl of ice-cream in the evening to celebrate getting through a day. I don't need praise from my husband, and I don't need him to kowtow to the many "sacrifices" I make as a mom--I just need Brian to support me and Reuben, and he does. And he doesn't need me to remind him of all the awesome things I do. I just need to do them without complaint.
Instead of looking at what I think I should have, I now look at all I have.
And my arms and my heart are so full.
Mr. Adventure looked puzzled. "What do you mean?" He said. "You get to stay home all day with Reuben. I would love to do that."
And that's when the fight began.
Whose job is harder? I think we argued about it for a few days before I gave up in exasperation, chalking it up to him just not understanding how difficult staying at home with Reuben actually was. Now that I think about it, I suppose he felt the same?
I remember one thing he said quite vividly. We were sitting on the couch watching Reuben play, and Brian candidly said, "Watching Reuben is easy. Look, he's just playing by himself."
I think my pot boiled over at that point. "When you watch him you just hold him." I said. "You don't have to try to cook at the same time, or do laundry, or go to the supermarket or..."
"I never thought of that." He said. "But it doesn't sound too hard."
Ugh.
But really, I don't know when I got into this mindset that parenting was a competition. Why does it matter so much to me that my husband acknowledges what a "sacrifice" it is when I watch our son every day? Why is it important that he understands how hard my day is, so much harder than his?
I must have a huge ego problem.
I decided to change my thinking. Instead of thinking about how long my days were, and how I rarely get time to myself anymore, and how much I'd love to spend more than 5 minutes in a shower--I decided to think about every day as a gift. Because every day is a gift. One day Reuben will be in college or maybe living abroad and I won't be able to cover his face in kisses every morning and tickle his feet.
And I just don't want to think of raising him as a chore. Yes, it's hard. Yes, it's impossibly hard sometimes. But he is a person, and worthy of love. I don't want to spend my years pining away for my personal freedom--I want to spend them learning and growing with Reuben. He is a gift from God, and I am not worthy of him. And he didn't take away all my freedom and time! Instead, he filled my heart and life with happy smiles, warm cuddles, and an occasional poop-filled diaper. I chose to bring him into this world and I couldn't be more happy that he is finally here.
When I started to think of this, my attitude improved greatly. Not only did Mr. Adventure start to arrive home to a happy, smiling wife instead of a grumpy, dissatisfied and worn out wife who demanded attention and freedom, I started to actually enjoy most of my day. Is it still really hard sometimes? Yes! But instead of letting this fact totally overwhelm me, I just think about how much I love my son and how precious this time with Reuben is when he is small and how I'll never get it back--and it helps put things into perspective. I love him. He loves me.
I could care less now whose job is "harder". I don't think that term even applies to what we are doing. We are both raising a wonderful son, and working on a wonderful marriage. Mr. Adventure is doing what he can do, and I am doing what I can do. We are both blessed. And there is no prize like a bowl of ice-cream in the evening to celebrate getting through a day. I don't need praise from my husband, and I don't need him to kowtow to the many "sacrifices" I make as a mom--I just need Brian to support me and Reuben, and he does. And he doesn't need me to remind him of all the awesome things I do. I just need to do them without complaint.
Instead of looking at what I think I should have, I now look at all I have.
And my arms and my heart are so full.
3/25/16
A look at our American budget
So this year one of my husband and I's dreams is to drastically reduce our budget. Last year we spent a lot. We had a baby, so it was to be expected. This year we want to reduce spending to save up again to have another baby in 2017. Our financial goal is to spend no more than $2,000 a month. That includes everything, from bills to food to personal and baby expenses.
We started this goal on the 16th of March! Before we started, I took a look at what we spent from January 16 2016 - February 16th 2016 to see what we were spending monthly. Currently we try to be frugal, but we don't really have a set budget. Here is every penny we spent mid January through mid February.
Bills
- Internet: 49.45
- YMCA: 46.00
- Water bill: 65.11
- Cell phone bill: 24.12
- Netflix: 7.99
- Electric: 213.15
I don't see much we can remove from bills. I stopped going to the Y after Reuben was born and Brian removed me from the subscription. It was 75 for both of us, only 46 for just him. He goes 3-4 times a week and enjoys it. The electric bill should drop when spring hits and we are not using the heat, and our water bill comes every two months, so it was really $33ish a month. For our cell phones, we have republic wireless and I actually find that bill quite reasonable, so not much I can tweek there.
Baby expenses
During this month we spent 446.47 on Reuben. He learned to crawl in December so in January we bought him a baby gate. We also purchased a highchair for him as well since he hit 6 months and we wanted to start solid food. There were probably a lot of miscellaneous things purchased too, like I remember buying infant Vicks vapor rub and baby Tylenol when he was sick, and a hat for him because he outgrew his 0-3 month size. We also went to the doctor once for him in the previous month and that bill is included here since it came a few weeks later. The baby expense category should drastically decrease, as the only things we will need for Reuben in the next year is a new car seat (he will outgrow his infant one that daddy has in his car) and perhaps some more age-appropriate toys as he nears 1 year that I am sure one of his grandmothers will buy. We have tons of clothes for him as he has four male cousins!
Food
I was shocked when I saw our grocery shopping budget, to be honest. But then I remembered this was the month I started paleo again, and also the month that I spent around $100 in supplements trying to self-cure my chronic constipation (I included the supplement purchase in the grochery shopping budget). Both those things inflated our budget a lot. We try to keep it under or at $500, so basically $125 a week. We also buy all organic, and that can get very expensive.
Gas
Both my husband and I combined only spent 47.75 on gas this month. I think this is a good number. Brian has a very short commute and we really only go out once a week together, resulting in not much gas used.
Personal Money
Brian spent $196.99 in personal money. He bought a Roku for our living room television, as well as miscellaneous things at Walmart and alcohol.
I spent $80 on Dorothy Booth Fitness to jump-start my paleo journey, and $20 on Stitchfix. I didn't end up keeping anything from my January box. My husband also gives me $45 a week of personal money ($180 a month) to just spend on anything I want. I honestly can't remember what I bought, I think I got things for Reuben's nursery.
Other
We spent $20.08 at the Walmart pharmacy. I can't remember who was sick, but it was either me or Brian.
So that is exactly every penny we spent from January 16th to Feb 15, around $2,500. We want to reduce it to $2,000. Do you think we can do it? What does your budget look like? Does ours blow you out of the water or does it seem reasonable? I welcome any suggestions as we attempt pare down our spending!
The 2016 budget series:
January 17th - February 16th
Feb 17th - March 16
March 17-April 16th
April 17th-May 16th
May 17th-June16th
June-17th-July 16th
Food
- Eating Out: 146.07
- Brian Lunch at his work cafeteria: 120.45
- Grocery Shopping: 835.67
I was shocked when I saw our grocery shopping budget, to be honest. But then I remembered this was the month I started paleo again, and also the month that I spent around $100 in supplements trying to self-cure my chronic constipation (I included the supplement purchase in the grochery shopping budget). Both those things inflated our budget a lot. We try to keep it under or at $500, so basically $125 a week. We also buy all organic, and that can get very expensive.
Gas
Both my husband and I combined only spent 47.75 on gas this month. I think this is a good number. Brian has a very short commute and we really only go out once a week together, resulting in not much gas used.
Personal Money
Brian spent $196.99 in personal money. He bought a Roku for our living room television, as well as miscellaneous things at Walmart and alcohol.
I spent $80 on Dorothy Booth Fitness to jump-start my paleo journey, and $20 on Stitchfix. I didn't end up keeping anything from my January box. My husband also gives me $45 a week of personal money ($180 a month) to just spend on anything I want. I honestly can't remember what I bought, I think I got things for Reuben's nursery.
Other
We spent $20.08 at the Walmart pharmacy. I can't remember who was sick, but it was either me or Brian.
So that is exactly every penny we spent from January 16th to Feb 15, around $2,500. We want to reduce it to $2,000. Do you think we can do it? What does your budget look like? Does ours blow you out of the water or does it seem reasonable? I welcome any suggestions as we attempt pare down our spending!
The 2016 budget series:
January 17th - February 16th
Feb 17th - March 16
March 17-April 16th
April 17th-May 16th
May 17th-June16th
June-17th-July 16th
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)