Saturday, April 12, 2014

What does a stay at home wife DO?

I get this question a lot. I guess people are just curious, or maybe they simply want to understand what it is I do. Sometimes I don't know how to respond.

Therefore I decided to write a blog post about it. So, what does a stay at home wife do? To be honest, it's very hard to keep track of what I do, so I filmed the first half of a regular non-gym day at home. In my pajamas. Because, why not? I usually wake up at 7, but the first hour of the day is just me lethargically sitting on the couch listening to a sermon from GTY and drinking tea. No one wants to see that, because I'm basically a zombie.

Every stay at home wife's day will look different, of course, but this is how I sometimes spend the first half of my morning. Every other weekday I try and visit the gym as well. I do lots of different things, from knitting, blogging, outdoor work, photography, volunteering as much as possible, spending time with friends, cleaning, meal planning, romantic note writing...the list goes on and on. The second half of my morning (usually from 3-4pm onward) is usually spent cleaning up after the first half, making lunch, planning and making dinner, and getting ready for my husband to come home.

Another hard thing is trying to explain to others why I am stay at home wife in the first place. The main reason I am a stay at home wife is so that I can be home with my husband when he is home.  He works anywhere from 8 (on a good day) to 14 hours a day, coming home anywhere from 5:30 to 10pm. And he wants me to be there. I am part of his relaxation process after a hard day, and he wants to spend time with me. We are both willing to sacrifice the money I would be making at a job for the memories and quality alone time we spend together in the evenings and on the weekends. This is important to me and my husband, important enough for me to stay at home for. Luckily, my husbands job pays enough that this is financially feasible for us.

Now, this isn't how every marriage works, of course, and don't think I'm trying to say that at all. This is how our marriage works. And mutually, we both enjoy it. This allows my husband to work hard all day, and me to get the chores done so he can relax when he comes home. It allows him to have peace of mind that his laundry is going to be washed--he does not have to worry about dinner, or try to make time in his busy, stressful schedule to run to the grochery store that night to make sure he has something for breakfast before work the next morning. Likewise, I never worry about bills, or house payments or where the money for our next meal is coming from. We both support each other with our different chosen roles.

I'll be honest, my willingness to forgo out of home work has revolutionized our marriage. For starters, we've both defined our roles within our marriage. We both know what to expect from the other, at least in cases of household chores and salary. The house runs smoothy, almost as an afterthought by now, and I've ceased asking my husband about bills or purchases that are covered by our budget, and he never has to wonder if he should do the dishes. We both completely know our own roles and don't have to question the other on what we should be doing.

The second reason I enjoy being a stay at home wife is that I really wanted to start my own knitting business. I do this on the side, and it has been really fun, but I would still call it a hobby.

I hope this helps you understand what a stay at home wife does all day. The short answer is that I do it all, anything and everything I can to help my spouse--and I don't have to rush, because I literally have all day! I really, absolutely love what I do, and the time it allows me to spend with my friends, and above all the way I get to minister to my husband. I enjoy the freedom of being able to help my friends out at the drop of a hat whenever they need me.

What about you? Does your day look like mine or is it completely different?

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