Friday, April 25, 2014

A open letter to comments on my interview

Dear people of the internet that saw me on Good Morning America, thank you for all your wonderful and uplifting and insightful comments. Many of you made me smile and blush!

However, some of you were less then positive. Some of you were downright...illogical. Take, for example, these.




Okay, personal anger aside, WHAT? I thought today's society was over judging women by physical appearance. That we knew how to love people regardless of our own personal standards of beauty. THIS is why so many women struggle with low self esteem and body image--because others keep trying to impose their own ideas of beauty on them. And no one can live up to that.

Think before you comment. If you really believe I'm hideous, be glad that you are not married to me and then keep your opinion to yourself. Do you not understand that beauty is not an absolute, but an ideal that fluctuates with each and every individual person? I mean, I'm all for constructive criticism but these comments are not edifying.




Yeah, I don't even know what to say. Except that these comments didn't hurt me, they mostly shocked me. I mean, on my interview that celebrates my choice as a women to enjoy the freedom of not wearing makeup, (something men really never have to deal with)--THIS is the kind of comment you decide to leave? One that objectifies me? A comment that shoves your idea of beauty on me? Clearly you have your head on straight.

Women should have the freedom to look how they want when they want any time that they want, at any event that they want, as long as they are not breaking any laws! This isn't rocket science, and it really isn't news, but there you go.

Now if you excuse me I'm going to knit something and forget about these comments, because they don't matter. Humpfppph.


16 comments:

  1. Um, WOW. Not much angers me more than women who think they have to "put their face on" to go to the grocery store and give birth. WHY? Why would you do that to yourself? The fact that people think women need to look a certain way just infuriates me. I could go on for hours. But the bottom line is that you looked BEAUTIFUL. I love that you didn't feel the need to hide behind makeup on your wedding day.

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  2. I refuse to read the comments on news sites because they always seem extraordinarily not nice. I'm sorry, Carolynn! People don't think logically, it seems. If they have the right to appreciate and enjoy makeup, you certainly have the right not to! And it's so weird to make comments on your attractiveness. People definitely have different 'taste' as to what they find beautiful personally, but just because someone doesn't look like your taste doesn't mean they aren't intrinsically beautiful. (I mean, I'm quite staunch in my conviction that Angel is THE most attractive man in the the world, and he tells me every day that I'm perfect in his eyes--but I am quite aware that neither one of us would be without a lot of criticism if others were to judge our looks).

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  3. I'm constantly shocked by the way people behave on the internet! The way that people hide behind an anonymous name to post hateful comments makes me sick. How sad that so many women feel like they can't leave the house without wearing make-up...or give birth, apparently. (Honestly, it seems to me that if you're getting ready to give birth to your child, make-up should be the last thing on your mind.)
    Our society is so messed up. I'm sorry that you had to deal with this!

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  4. Ignorant people. It more-so shows how uncomfortable they are in their own skin, which makes me feel sorry for them. As I like to see it, we should pursue a timeless, enduring beauty that's lasted from the day of Creation, not a fleeting, trendy beauty that always has you grasping for more. You're beautiful inside and out, Carolynn :)

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  5. Oh, I'd also like to add that it angers me that women are attacking women on this issue, and not being supportive. Like others who have commented, these nasty commentors (is that a word? ha) don't have to agree, but they do have to respect your choice. Isn't society always pushing "tolerance"? We tolerate immoral behavior, we tolerate immodesty. And it's wrong! Where is the tolerance here??? Sadly, women care more about how other women view them. It's not how the men view them. It's like a gender competition, and it's pathetic. Why can't we be unified in being women, which gives us an inherent grace and beauty because we are made in God's image? GOSH, I feel a blog post bubbling up out of me.... Sorry for high-jacking your comment area ;) Love you!

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  6. Ok, just ONE more comment: I'd like to ask those ladies who left rude comments if they're as brave as you are. Are they transparent not just with their looks, but with their hearts? Can they be interviewed and stick to their beliefs?! Do they even know who they are, besides their appearance? What's underneath their makeup, an ugly heart? THAT is far worse.....

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  7. I don’t even know where to start. Society as a whole is becoming such an ugly force filled with consumerism, materialistic, vanity driven, shallow people. People are threaten by anyone who goes against the “norm”, people who think for themselves, people who are SECURE, and don’t need meaningless crap to fill their voids. You have God’s light shining sooo incredibly bright through your photos, writing, beliefs, marriage and that makes you beyond gorgeous. Just know if you were a size zero, with a pound of make-up on and a thousand dollar wedding dress on – there would still be haters, because people who are lost feed off negativity, in the end we have to feel sorry for them – they need saving!

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  8. Oh my gosh! Those comments are AWFUL! I'm constantly shocked by the things people say online, it just seems like they have way too much time on their hands - or feel badly about themselves and feel they have no alternative but to trash other people to feel better about themselves. For what it's worth, I think you're adorable! I do wear makeup, but the older I get, the less I wear. These days, I'm happy with a small amount of eyeliner and mascara and a little blush (so my skin doesn't look like death) to go to work - when I'm at home, I don't wear it. I didn't wear a ton on my wedding day either - I still wanted to look like myself!! So big kudos to you and big thumbs down to all those commenters!

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  9. Those comments are so mean. People forget that you are a REAL person with feelings. If you can't say something nice…right? So sorry!

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  10. Everyone on my facebook told me not to read the comments so...of course I had to! I'm not upset, I expected trolls, but for some reason didn't expect the trolls to insult me in this fashion!

    I also underestimate the logic capabilities of People Who Use The Internet. Lesson learned :P

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  11. I've learned that their are many different reasons to wear or to not wear makeup, some of them good, (enjoyment, fun, silliness, work related, personal choice...) but many of them are bad (peer pressure, low self esteem, society, fear, attention...) I wish wearing makeup was not shown only in negative ways all the time (like OVERLY over-touched beauty magazines showing unrealistic expectations about makeup, to girls getting a lot of negative, sexualized attention when they wear it). Makes makeup not that fun when society ruins it.

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  12. It honestly felt baffling! I would love to sit down with those people and simply ask them "why". I can't comprehend the reasoning behind those kinds of statements, so they just leave me mostly confused.

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  13. your comment made my day! Thank you :) So true.

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  14. Hehee, I did notice that the comments they left had more thumbs down then thumbs up )

    Thank you for your comment! I also am shocked by the things some people say online! It's like we forget, suddenly, that people exist behind these numbers and screen names.

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  15. I don't understand how people can't realize that make up isn't a necessity. It's an OPINION. The comments seem to think you're committing a crime, goodness. I applaud your reaction to the comments.

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  16. What?!? Ok, I think this might be my first time visiting your blog, but Dan was talking about it, so I had to check it out. I have to say, your strength makes you so beautiful and those comments make them not so. I'm saddened that people still think like that.

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Thank you so much for commenting! Your thoughts bring smiles to my face :)