Is my life a joke?

Well here I am staring another week in the face and feeling tired and unprepared. I guess this is just my life now! At least I am used to it? 

It's not like I was lazy: I have two lunches prepped for myself, and lunch to send with Brian to work, and a vague plan in my head for the kids for at least one meal...we have fish thawed...maybe we will do turkey sandwiches for the other meal. I do not currently have turkey but I can run to the store during Reuben's piano lesson. 

The kitchen is not a mess but it's not perfect either. 

I think part of it is how chaotic school was last week. Someone was always having a meltdown and we didn't finish everything. Which is so normal but it feels like I'm still holding onto all the loose ends! How do I tie them up into neat bows when I wasn't able to check them off my list? Perhaps I'll feel better after tomorrow. 

I've had kinda a light headache all day too which has not helped my irritation. Since I felt bad, I laid down a lot, and the kids (and husband) went bananas without me to remind them about all the chores. Which did NOT make me feel rested, loved, or respected when I got up an hour later to find dishes covering the table and cookie mess strewn everywhere... and Esther had dumped out a board game... So, we all stopped what we were doing and cleaned up and then I had a minor lecture moment where I reminded everyone that just because I am resting does not mean they can shirk their responsibilities.

Sometimes I feel like the only parent in this household! 

I'm sure my husband feels that way too at times.

Anyway, I was able to crochet about 3 rows of a new hat and it's soft, pinky/purple and I'm excited to wear it. I'm also making dark yellowy/ fall vibe boot cuff warmers and hoping I get them done in time for winter! I also finished this hat and I love it. 

I also had a very bad health week. Fatigue and two alpha gal reactions...no fun. I'm so tired of having alpha gal. I need to call and schedule acupuncture but I keep overthinking it. If it doesn't work, this is my last option. There are no other options. I've tried two rounds of homeopathy and it hasn't done anything that I've noticed (the second round does seem to help me manage my alpha gal reactions, but does not cure the allergy) and all that is left is to try acupuncture. I hate needles, I don't want to try it, it's expensive but I guess I should. I have a feeling it won't work, so why waste money? Maybe God will surprise me. Maybe I shouldn't be telling myself it's hopeless when God is a God of the miraculous. 

Anyway, I am going to try it. Eventually. 

I do trust God, and I love him and I know he loves me. Alpha gal, chronic illness, homeschooling, cooking with our allergies and navigating the crazy inflation...while also trying to make time for myself and my marriage.....this is crazy! 

One step at a time...even if its a step backwards? 

Hoping for better energy and focus from all members of my family next week. And for days to be fun as we all glorify God together in this crazy world. 

I wore my new sweater to church and to the farmers market and I couldn't be happier with it! 

I think what I need in my life is less seriousness and less rigid conformity to my checklist. Chronic illness can't be managed with spreadsheets and timelines and neither can toddlers. Expect the unexpected and learn to enjoy the interruptions should be my new motto going forward.

At dinner today Brian told a story about how when he was 8, his dad lost his job and they had to move from Arizona to Pennsylvania and how his mom, dad and him and his little brother (7) all moved in with his Grandpa and Grandma for a year while his Dad job searched. It was his dad's parents they all lived with and when Brian turned 9, everyone moved from PA for VA where we now live, and 32 years later Brian is working at the very same company his dad got his new job at. 

It just reminded me that God sees the big picture even when we are stuck on the long, slow route to wherever he is taking us. God knows where we are going, and he knew that little boy who was moving across the country from Arizona to Pennsylvania to Virginia would one day meet a girl who had lived here practically all her life and start a family of their very own. 

I also laughed a lot because Brian's Dad was 40 when that all happened and here is Brian at 41 with a three year old and Ford Wind Star, and I think his dad if he were still around would laugh. According to Brian he did not think Ford cars were that reliable. 

But here we all are still in Virginia and enjoying being a family together and glorifying the Lord in our small ways.