I think chronic illness is very unfair. For the first part I have no energy most of the day but have to feed, clothe and homeschool three kids. Okay, that part is my choice. But everyone says exercise will give you energy! It's everywhere. Have you tried exercising? Whenever I go to a conventional doctor it's like their motto, their slogan and I'm so over it being screamed at me from every corner of the office and internet.
I'm going on walks almost every day and to local yoga three times a week and I'm still exhausted. It's not working. It isn't even helping my blood sugar which is annoying. And yes I am doing cardio at least once a week. Maybe I should up that. Where will I find the energy? God only knows.
By the way, it's been about a year since I started exercising regularly so I don't just need more time. I guess I need something else and I wish I knew what it was. I'm so tired of being tired.
ANYWAY.
It's the weekend. I'm so excited. Becky had a minor cold early this week and Reuben currently has it so it will be a relaxing weekend at home. But he isn't too sick and I expect him to be well by Sunday which, if I'm trusting my gut instinct correctly, will be great because our co-op is coming to our house Monday!
It is hard to be miserable chronic-illness wise and yet be filled with so much joy parenting/seasonally wise. The weather is beautiful. I have the door and windows open almost all day and Esther has been riding her little bike and both girls have been traipsing around the yard. Reuben would too, only he's sick... literal life perfection. If only I felt well enough to enjoy it!
I gave up budgeting until September. It's just not working. I don't know how we are surviving but today we paid a $700 yearly car insurance bill and next week I owe $445 for piano for the next four months so...I don't know if we are going to make it but, if you can believe it, I stopped caring. We will or we won't and life will go on. Also our van needs new tires in October before it will pass inspection, it also needs a window fixed (it won't roll down) and something is wrong with the steering. Brian is going to work on it tomorrow. Send prayers, mostly for me because I want him to watch the kids so I can sleep! Hah. But he will have his head in the car for at least two hours? Three? All day? I really don't know I guess it depends on what he finds. Also I realize it's a blessing to have a husband who knows how to fix cars. I only wish he could be in two places at once because he's home so rarely from work and I'm exhausted.
Prayers are needed. God is so good. Pray for energy for me and that I can find out what is wrong so I can stop fighting my own body! And for our car that fixing it will not cost a lot. And that Reuben will feel better.
We had a great week at school. The kids worked so hard! Mama did too. A new week starts soon and maybe I'll have energy. I can always hope.
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