Wednesday, June 24, 2015

Mr. Adventure Says: Pregnancy Edition

(during the first trimester, when I was sick 24/7) 
Me: Why did you do this to me?!?!?
B: For science.

(In bed, one night)
B: I can't wait until you give birth and we can throw that pregnancy pillow away. It takes up so much space.
Me: I'll probably still use it after birth.
B: *looks sad*
Me: What?
B: You used to snuggle with me at night.
Me: This has better breast support.
B: I can do breast support...

(during the second trimester)
Me: Why did you do this to me?
B: because you asked me to. 
Me: That's no excuse! 

(on an early Saturday morning)
B: Want to make another baby? *winky winky*
Me: That is the most unsexy thing I've ever heard you say. (I was 24 weeks pregnant at this point)
B: aw *pouts*
Me: Seriously, that makes me want to call and schedule you a vasectomy.
B: I was hoping for a more positive, outpatient kind of reaction. Like kisses.
Me: Then you should do the dishes. *goes back to reading book*

(during the third trimester)
Me: Why did you do this to me...
B: Minions!!

(one day when I was feeling particularly horrible)
Me: You made me pregnant, now make me unpregnant. (humor helps me cope)
B: Alas, I do not have that power.
Me: *cries through her laughter* (it was a really bad day...)
B: But I can take you out to dinner!
Me: Yay!

Me: *waddling behind Brian in the grocery store* Hey, you are leaving your mammoth behind.
B: Did you just call yourself a mammoth? You're not a mammoth.
Me: Elephant, then. Walk slower for the elephant. 
B: O_o

(Many times, during gestation of all months)
B: You're eating again?!?
Me: *Stares at him while eating*
B: I mean, you sure look nice today. 
Me: Good save. 

(At Target)
Me: I need to pee.
B: But we just got here. 
Me: Yeah.
B: And didn't you pee right before we left?
Me: Yeah.
B: Woah. 

 (Last night)
Me: I am hungry
B: didn't you just eat dinner?
Me: that was like 2 hours ago.
B: okay. want some chips?
Me: no. I want ice-cream.
B: We don't have any ice-cream
Me: I must have ice-cream!!!!
B: okay....
*takes me out to fro yo*
Me: This is the most amazing thing I have ever eaten.
B: You said that yesterday.

(At small group)
B: Do you want to go camping?
Me: *gives him a look*
B: What? does that mean no?
Me: I am 7 months pregnant I am not sleeping on the ground.
B: awww....


Breenah said...

It's beautiful how oblivious and caring men can be during pregnancy.

Brita Long said...

Bwahahahaha, this is HILARIOUS!

Molly Gibson said...


bgarpke said...

haha! I read these out loud to my husband and he laughed!

katie terry said...

Oh, I hear you -- "Graceful like a beached manatee" became one of my oft-used phrases about this time. That said, on a whim (unexpected long weekend!) we went camping for two nights when I was nine months pregnant. It was amazing -- honestly, the best sleep I've ever gotten on a camping trip. I'd been having regular-irregular contractions for a couple weeks, so I half-expected the trip to end with a mad dash back home, but everything went without incident. I loved that we did it, and that it set a precedent -- because, if we did it nine months pregnant, how much harder could it be to do with a munchkin? =)

Carolynn said...

I can't wait to go camping with my munchkin :P :P I am surprised you went 9 months prego tho!! you are brave, or probably just different than me! I don't like sleeping on the floor, hehe, but I DO like camping.

Carolynn said...

tee hee :P

Carolynn said...

yeah, lol