Sunday, October 3, 2021

The problem with Stage Four (and other life updates)

FIRST of all, we have a working washing machine!!! I am currently doing ALL the laundry in our house and I don't have to worry a speck about the weather, the temperature, or if someone is mowing outside. I can clean every garment in my home at any time. I feel SO blessed. Also, we bought chocolate. I ate too much.

This week I started stage four of gaps. The juice kicked me out of ketosis and I am starving all the time!!! I am going to progress quickly though stage four and get to stage five and six so I can have fruit and get a little carb help...

So far I am doing very well. I am excited to make it. Last time I quit on stage four after 8 weeks due to the crash of being kicked out of ketosis and the resulting hunger. This time I knew it was coming and I decided to just press on to stage five if it gets too hard to manage. 

waiting in the hot car for daddy

Weight loss? I have lost 10 pounds on gaps in these four weeks, going from 155 to 145. I will probably gain it all back, so I am not buying new clothes. Or trying to think too much about it; worrying about my weight is not a problem I want to add to my plate.

How else are we? Homeschooling is going really well. We are starting week five of Ambleside Online tomorrow and Reuben is just soaking it up as am I. 

I also ordered books. Too many books. I went on a book shopping spree at www.thriftbooks.com and bought books I have been wanting forever and books I am excited about Reuben reading as he progresses in his reading level (we are up to three letter words guys!! This is so exciting!!) and a few books for myself that I have been eyeing for months. Its a fall cozy fireside book haul, maybe I will make a video when all the books come in. I can't wait. Books are amazing and we read so much as a family. I can't wait until Reuben reads too. He really wants to join me on the couch and leaf through pages.

I'm about halfway though Hunt, Gather, Parent and it is legit blowing up my westernized parenting bad habits. We have implanted two of the suggestions and I am shocked at how much it has changed our household. I can't wait to read the rest of the book. We bought it on audiobook to listen together; my husband does not read unless it is for work.

The first thing we did is--we now do chores together. Almost all of them. My three year old can wash all the dishes (if I put a chair at the sink for her). I had NO idea she could do so much with such happiness. And she is glowing, she is more joy-filled and seems to understand better her role and purpose in our family. We are spending time together doing these chores and I find I like it too! I was worried it would be more work or messy; but honesty it is helping me out so much. Reuben is able to do way more than I expected as well, from making whole meals by himself (with supervision right now) to washing dinner dishes and hanging up laundry. We are not to the "they do chores themselves without asking" part but I can see how we will get there. The main thing we are trying to do is exist as a family and not as individual parts (parents and children) but as a unit that all molds together. We are team members with the same goal in mind, not lone boatmen. Thinking of our family as being on the same team is realigning my own conceptions of parenting. I don't need to send the kids away to make dinner; they can help. They eat too. I don't need to "entertain" them while I clean, they can clean too, they live here. This is good for us.

The second part of the book is about anger, and wow, let me tell you it was like being slapped upside the head with a barrel of wet fish. I am gobsmacked. 

Basically, we shouldn't get angry at kids as parents!! I am working on my anger--not just managing it, but having less of it. I now expect my kids to make messes, be emotionally unstable--they are children. Just like I am teaching Reuben math in school, I also need to teach him to be neat, tidy, and control himself. I realized after reading this chapter that a lot of the tears my kids shed, and a lot of my frustrations are from me expecting my children to be emotionally competent forty year olds. They are three and six, we are not there yet. I must be patient and teach by example. Yelling and anger are not only unacceptable, they don't help the situation in any way. Anger is the wrong reaction to something my child does. They are trying to learn how to exist in the world; not fight me. Once again, I viewed them as "not on my team" and "other". Once I started to see that we were all supposed to be working together, something clicked. I am working on being an example my kids can see daily. 

I've only scratched the surface of this book. I will read it again, I will dig deeper. And I'm only halfway though and I need to return it in ten days to the library so I need to read!!

Anyway, the concepts in the book are revolutionizing our family! My thoughts? Go out and read Hunt, Gather, Parent. You will not regret it, I promise you. It is amazing. I have been telling EVERYONE about it. It's the only parenting book you need. 

We are on week two of no television!! It is going good. We are still playing Nintendo switch in the evenings and I plan on cutting that out, eventually. Soon. We aren't playing on the television but on the actual switch device, in case you were confused. The television is in the closet. 

How are you?

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