Sunday, November 22, 2020

Gaps diet [Week 5]

I'm being super honest in these posts about my body and Gaps, SO if you don't want to hear about constipation, enemas, food cravings and general complaints about my life, don't read this post.

It's week five! I took a two day break on week five. I was dealing with a lot of stress, so I had some bread (sourdough) and also some fruits. It wasn't that bad. I had a return of my autoimmune symptoms of course, with some stomach pain, but was able to go right back to stage three the next day. And I really needed the break and am not going to guilt myself over a few slices of homemade bread and an orange.

I have cautiously added back in some dairy nearing the end of week five. A few spoonfuls of yogurt, some sour cream and even some homemade kefir cheese!

This week I was tired a lot. Tired of this diet. Tired of soup. Looking forward to eating a normal diet. I'm trying to remain positive and optimistic, but I just feel worn out and I never want to see a bowl of soup again.

Also, beet kvass tastes like beets soaked in water for 8 days. I plug my nose when I drink it.

I know I am being negative Nancy here but everyone else can eat whatever they want, and I'm jealous. Next week is thanksgiving and I think that will be a hard day for me for sure.

Anyway. Enemas are nothing to be scared of. They are not fun, but also not that bad. That is all I will say on the subject. 

So, how am I feeling? It seems like a double edged sword. Either I can eat healthy and emotionally feel like crap but feel physically well, or I can eat what I want and emotionally be positive but my body is a wreck of a chronic illness. I am trying to think of Gaps as a one-day at a time thing instead of the big two-year picture, but it's hard not to get overwhelmed. There is so much to remember. Soup to make, stock to prep, veggies to cut, things to ferment. It's a lot! I'm struggling, and that's okay too. I think if I make it to the full gaps diet I might be okay for awhile. The full gaps diet reminds me of a paleo diet, and I did that for four years! Surly I can survive on a full gaps diet. I just have to get there, which means I have to buckle down and stop cheating and go the course so I CAN get there.

The goal is a physically and emotionally healthy me, and hopefully she exists somewhere down the line.

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