Sunday, July 5, 2020

more musing (EBV?)

Now that I have had a little bit of time to research, read and pour over my symptoms, I don't think I have lyme. I DO think I have either EBV or walking pneumonia. Luckily, the herbs for lyme are similar to those for EBV and WP.

Right now I am on day five of herbs. I felt a lot better day one and two, but on day three when I added skullcap, I started feeling worse again. I might be dosing my herbs too fast, so I am toning it back and reducing my intake (I'll up it later if needed?). I am also experiencing horrible abdominal bloating, which can be a sign of gut die-off or intestinal worms, or gas, or an issue with salt retention. I am hopeful the bloating diminishes as I scale back on the herbs. I joined a lyme group on Facebook, and while my protocol takes one week to get on the full doses of herbs, many are saying they took a month to ramp up. 

I did have some joint pain, but after researching I started taking nattokinase in the morning and this has eliminated that pain. 

Right now I am not going back to the doctor. I'm on about $500 worth of herbs and hopeful it will help. The only way we were able to afford this right now is that I owned many of the herbs already from when Brian had lyme last year. Our total cost so far this year has been around $200. 

I have dark moments where I feel I am never going to get better but I have good days too, and I am praying. This is a season, I hope. I want to get better. I want to enjoy life again.

This past weekend I was able to go hiking. It was a good day, a day of fun!! I had to lay down the rest of the day after hiking, but it was worth it. Both kids enjoyed being out and seeing a waterfall. It was Reuben's preschool graduation present. He starts Kindergarten in August, and my hope is still to homeschool him. In order to school him, I must get better. 

Please, please pray for me and our family as we all battle this illness. The amount of time I have had to devote to myself since my May miscarriage has been astronomically disproportionate to the time my family needs me. Many days I have been unable to cook or even to get out of bed. My husband has been working from home (if he had not been, I would not have been able to survive) and basically taking care of the kids while managing his zoom calls and office work. The TV has been on a lot. I had buckets of guilt over it but I am setting myself free. I am sick. Something is wrong, and I am, with the grace of God, hopefully going to find out what is wrong and get better so I can care again for my family. 

On top of all the herbs, I am also still trying to stay active by doing hot yoga and walking. The hot yoga is for detoxing. Sweating is amazing. It's hard to exercise when I am dealing with chronic fatigue. Sometimes it is the only thing I do all day. But I do it because I believe it is integral to my health. Hot yoga costs $100 a month. Batting a chronic and debilitating illness isn't cheap.

Here goes nothing. 2020 health crisis, I hope you go back into Pandora's box. And stay there.

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