Tuesday, December 3, 2019

a real gift guide for that mom in your life

  1. Free time. Please watch my darling angels while I go be alone somewhere. Don't text me.
  2. Gift cards to target. 
  3. Chocolate labeled "peas for little boys" or "very spicy mustard sauce". My kids know what a chocolate package looks like and I don't want to share, so slap a picture of veggies on it and we will be golden. 
  4. Noise canceling headphones
  5. Magical Sick-Away Sprinkle Salts. You know, that I can sprinkle on my kids food when they catch the flu so we don't have to go through that. 
  6. Mom-escape card. I'd love to see my toddler's face when I flourish this from my pocket. I'm sorry, Reuben, you can't whine here. I'm using my escape card, so take your complaining elsewhere and let mom drink her organic green tea in peace.
  7. Toy that does not make noise but entertains my children quietly for hours. 
  8. On second thought, toy that does not make messes but entertains my children quietly for hours.
  9. Husband that comes home and says "wow, you look super hot. But lets not have sex, lets just snuggle and then I'll do the dishes while you crochet. Also I bought you this organic yarn on the way home because you are amazing and you deserve to knit some washcloths." I can dream, right?
  10. Enjoy-A-Dinner family night package. Where everyone likes what I make and eats it with a smile on their face. 
Because we all know we don't need more starbucks gift cards and ugly sweaters....

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