Monday, September 8, 2014

Except Me

Everyone seems to know what they are doing except me.

Did I miss a memo? An E-mail? A large florescent sign with an arrow?

Okay, okay, I'm sure there are others who are lost. No one has it all together all the time.

But I feel so strange. I wonder a lot if my life would look any different if I were more sold out to Christ. I wonder if I'm playing to much in the world or if I'm doing His will. I wonder why I have such drives and dreams and excitement over...knitting hats. How can I use knitting to show how much I love God? Does God care that a ball of rainbow colored yarn makes me swoon?

I don't know. But I still dream.

I mean, I know there is nothing new under the sun. But I make commitments.  I live to please. I Get It Done. I plan the next thing. My calender is full and then I forget to meditate on Him.

But He is all there is. He is all there should be on my horizon. There is nothing more important than giving my life to Him every day without fail.

I don't think I'll ever have all the answers but I know who I want to be my compass. And my boat. And the oarsman. And the sun, sea and sky.

Dear Lord, I really pray You will make me more like Yourself. I want to know You. I just lack motivation sometimes. And I am learning that I'm not that good at compartmentalizing my time.

*This post was brought to you by I Might Be Doing To Much and has been extensively edited by Mr. Anxiety. If you need me I'll be trying to get all my ducks in a row while probably writing really weird stream of consciousness blog posts. Bye!


Deanna Fike said...

i have no clue what i'm supposed to do either. for the most part, i know what my talents are, but i'm not really sure how i'm supposed to use them when i rarely have free time.

Kristin said...

I know exactly what you mean...I'll be in church and the preacher will be talking about using your talents for God. And I think, talents? I don't think it's a talent of mine, but I just want to knit all the time. :)
I have no idea what I'm doing, either.

Cody Doll said...

I know exactly what you are talking about. I get how knitting can't be "praising" Him inless you knit a bible verse on the hats. I feel the same way with my art or anything else.
Yet as I was thinking about your kitting, there are many ways that you could use knitting to praise him. You could knit them for donations, like homeless shelters, thrift stores, handouts and churches. If you could get your church in on it then it would even better.
All that aside, hope you are doing okay. It sounds like you need a brain dump. And what I mean by that is taking a few pieces of paper (or through computer) and writing down everything in your head. Everything. Then in a day or two go back and figure out what can be done today, later, ect and what is just ideas. Or at least that is what I do when I have that feeling. Hope that helps!

Carolynn said...

thank you for this comment. Right now I'm listening to squirrels run around on my roof and thinking that it would be a great relaxing thing just to write and write and write :) hugs!

Cody Doll said...

I totally get that! hugs!