I would love to say I am still doing better, but the juxtaposition of good days and bad is like a badly hung pendulum that keeps smacking me in the head. I know it gets better. It is slow.
I am trying to cling to God, advocate for myself, make crock pot meals, spend at least some time with my older two kids, shower at least once week and stay off my phone.
It is hard. Esther is beautiful.
I'm down to pumping 3 times a day! The end is in sight.
I thought with two kids I wouldn't go through the "Who even am I" part of postpartum where like a caterpillar in a cocoon I become something...else. But I am defiantly experience this phenomenon. It isn't fun. But I suppose it is normal. Every kid changes the family dynamic and also the mother. Change is hard. Maybe if I could sleep more I could figure out what kind of butterfly I am going to be.
How are you all?
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