I was a Facebook drama queen. I loved my Facebook groups. Responding to all the bickering about marriage, kids, broken washers, lost puppies, spouses and jobs felt purposeful. I liked polling the masses through a well-worded Facebook status when I had conflict. I even enjoyed giving and receiving likes. Is what you said witty or thought provoking? Like.
I felt good about myself when I received likes on my status too. And comments. I checked my notifications like it was part of my religion.
In short, I created on Facebook a whole little world just about me and what I like and my opinions, complete with pictures.
I am sure there are people out there who use Facebook with boundaries in place and update their status intentionally. I was not one of those people. I know most people who use Facebook are not those people. Or Facebook would not be the gossip-centered cesspool that it is.
Here is what I have learned. Instead of posting in my Facebook mommy group about how upset I am about my husband doing X Y or Z, I should instead talk to my husband. Venting about whatever my husband did that infuriated me with a bunch of strangers on the internet won't solve or defuse the situation. So why did I participate in this style of gossip?
I have realized that the reason I make those types of posts is because I enjoy simmering in injustice against my husband and having people tell me I am “so right” to feel that way and “they completely understand” my anger. I have found it's easier to feel justified about how hurt I am than it is to actually talk to my husband about the problem.
Today I was reading my bible (you should try it sometime) when I was hit by a bombshell revelation. No, not the biblical kind (I mean, I am not adding to the word) but a personal growth kind of revelation. All this time I have been going to Facebook like it's the source of wisdom. Do I have a problem? Make a post about it. Receive feedback. Am I bored? Check my notifications, groups and messages. Am I angry? Happy? Sad? Update my status with the appropriate emoji and wait for people to comment. Do I need to vent? There is a group for that. And I am in it.
Instead my process should look like this: Do I have a problem? Pray about it. Communicate with the people that the problem actually pertains to. Am I bored? Seek out God and his purpose for me. Am I angry? Happy? Sad? Read my bible and thank God for my blessings. Do I need to vent? Pray. My prayers should be that I don't speak in anger.
Now I am not saying that Facebook is the cause of my problems. Clearly that is my heart. But it has provided people with an easy way to indulge in gossip and selfish behavior.
I could pray and make an edifying post that glorifies God, for sure. But do I? Has that been my track record? Maybe 2% out of 98%. Honestly, it is so much easier to vindictively type away on my computer than it is to go to God with my problems! Facebook allows me the ease of throwing God to the side and gratifying my flesh in the comment section.
Well, I am done with allowing this idol in my life.
Take a good look at your own Facebook habits. And the types of comments you see on your feed. And perhaps log out and see how you feel.
I'm not going back.