Tuesday, September 25, 2018

Life Update

Whenever I have time to sit down and write I never feel like writing. And when I do feel like writing I of course can't, because children. Or life. Or something. Right now Reuben is playing on the playground and Becky is asleep and I think I should write something, but a topic alludes me.

I've been reading a lot of Victorian literature lately. Right now I am reading Can You Forgive Her by Trollope. It sure is an interesting read and full of many political and relational insights. I'm about halfway through. I want to read more of his works, but this was the one I started with. I've also been reading Charles Dickens. I just finished David Copperfield. This work of fiction has blown me out of the water! I must own and read all of Dickens works. He's amazing. I never gave him two thoughts before, but now: I am hungry for everything he wrote and plan to read it all.

Not having internet is...interesting. At it's worst it is only inconvenient. I can't Google things whenever I want. I can't mindlessly check out on the internet. I have not watched a single YouTube video since we canceled it and I miss watching my favorite YouTubers. But it has also been oh so healing and soothing to my soul to not have internet at home. My day feels less rushed. I feel completely unburdened by the noise that is media. I don't care a bit about the “social” aspect of the internet anymore, and I realize that in light of Eternity and God maintaining a "online presence" is minutely insignificant and not worth my precious time. Living without the internet is bliss. However “inconvenient” it is I know I made the right decision for myself and my family.

Another thing of note that has occurred: I quit the keto diet. I originally did keto due to blood sugar issues and I loved it. But I quit loving it. Keto became a burden, a diet that I felt I “had” to do. I “had” to do it because my husband was. I couldn't give up because I'd be letting him down and letting myself down. All my friends knew I was keto, knew I loved it. I couldn't just quit, could I? Furthermore I knew the second I started eating carbs again I would gain 20 pounds and become intellectually stunted.

Eventually I just realized I was being stupid and I quit. It was as easy as that. Right now I am doing only dairy and gluten and refined sugar free, and I have picked up yoga and it's going great. I have only weighed myself once in the past three weeks. I am enjoying sandwiches. I have not gained 20 pounds but I can bend over and pick up toys without feeling vertigo, so thanks Yoga. But I could wax eloquent on the sandwiches. I have eaten either a peanut-butter and jelly sandwich or a hummus sandwich or a cheese toasty (vegan cheese) for lunch, with a side salad, every day since I quit! I also made chili the other week. I have not had beans in over five years. There was a party in my mouth and a tear in my eye when I took that first bite. I plan on making more chili next week. My toddler hated it, but hey, more chili for me. Whoo!

Becky is eight months this September and Reuben is a solid three. My husband is turning 34 next year and I am ever daily traveling to 32. This sounds so old! Thirty two. I think of my mom when I think of that age. I was 11 when she was 32. As much as I wish I had kids when I was younger, I know my younger, unsaved self would have been a horrible mother, so I am glad I was spared that adventure. Having kids as an older woman has its pluses and minuses for sure, but from my perspective it's all pluses for me. Sure, it would be nice to be out of the pregnancy phase (we want more kids) and have that behind me in my 20s, but I know solidly I was not ready for kids at that age. I wasn't ready at 30 either—but God was there with me and I was adaptable enough that I listened to him. I wasn't in a listening frame of mind in my 20s.

That's a life update. How are you guys doing?