Adjustments

I think I am burnt out a bit from homeschooling. I'm feeling better and more hopeful mid-week today, the warm weather is making me smile. And yeah, mourning the loss of whole food groups (beef/dairy) due to Alpha Gal...is part of the process of acclimating to my new diet. The most important thing to remember is, I'm going to be okay. And I can thrive, I just have to adjust and get over the learning curve. 

Our dryer broke so I am enjoying hang-drying my clothes. I actually find this peaceful. Except our 200 cloth tissues--that's no fun. And, for some reason the clothes smell bad when I hang them outside. They may be staying damp too long, Virginia is very humid. Or maybe there is something wrong with our washer. I will clean the washer and see if it helps. Brian says he will try to fix our dryer this weekend and then I won't have to worry about smelling like algae...or old socks. Whatever it is? 

The kids are cycling through a little cold. No fevers, just sore throats and sinus issues. I'm giving Narayani War (1M) and also Narayani Sinus (30C) homeopathy to the kids, and our nettle/oatstraw "sick tea" and lots of steamy hot baths. For myself, I did two garlic enemas, sick tea, and fire cider. I also took the homeopathy but I forget to re-dose myself often...so I am not sure if one dose did anything. The garlic enemas nipped it in the bud for me in 24 hours! The kids do not want to try an enema, and I respect that. But I still tell them how amazing they are so perhaps they can do them to themselves when they are an adult.

For the kids, the illness seems to last three days, with the end of the first day and the second being the worst, with the third day a recovery day. 

I quit our Monday co-op. It was a great co-op but I can't do an all day co-op from 10am-5pm. It just won't work. I have tried to reconfigure our lives to get it to fit and it's impossible, especially with my chronic fatigue. Monday is the day I try to get as much done as possible to get myself set up for the week in case chronic fatigue hits and stays. Usually I don't have chronic fatigue Monday until noon, if it comes. Because of this, Monday can't be our busiest, out of the house day. It wrecks the whole week. 

The Monday co-op used to be only 2-4pm which was perfect. I’m sad they changed! We still have nature group twice a month, and church, and playdates…so my kids won’t lack for friends.

It's sad, but I have to make the best decision for our family. I know this is the right decision, even if it hurts. Reuben was a bit sad about not going back but Becky, my introvert, was relieved. And Esther really doesn't care...

Before we all got sick, Reuben learned to make a fire with a magnifying glass. All by himself. I was amazed! Here he is with his park friend who trumped him in chess just an hour before, making fires. And we did it safely, put it out completely before we left, and had a lot of talks about fire on the way home. So don't worry. 

God is so good. I'm making spaghetti for dinner--sans meat for me. I might make myself a salmon on the side...been craving it lately. I need to make sure I am getting plenty of calcium foods and iron. And I'm taking a really good supplement for both those...hoping it can help. I don't know how my body will do without its daily deluge of raw milk, but I am hoping I'll be okay. 

This weekend is Brian's 41st birthday and I'm so excited to celebrate him.

I Got Ahead of Myself

The highs and lows of a chronic illness are extreme. I was so thankful to find a cure for my debilitating allergy attacks, hives, asthma (I haven't used my breathing tea since I went mammal free) and middle of the night mild anaphylaxis...its been great. I definitely think I have alpha gal. 

But in my excitement I thought maybe some of my other symptoms might go away too and I find myself kinda sad today that I still have chronic fatigue. 

Today I went on a play date with another home-school mom, it was my first time meeting her and it was awesome. She has a 9 year old who loves to play chess and my 10 year old also loves to play chess. Her son beat mine three times! Reuben had a blast though, he wants to keep trying and playing. But there was my chronic fatigue making it so hard to concentrate. And hard to walk. And hard to keep track of my kids. I just wanted to go home. We stayed 2.5 hours and then I was a couch potato for an hour and now I am making roasted yams, fish and broccoli for dinner. 

I think chronic fatigue has been one of my hardest symptoms. It comes, and never with any kind of warning. It stays and then just disappears one day maybe for 24, 36 hours or sometimes a week. It always comes back. Sometimes I start the day okay and by lunch have chronic fatigue...

Today I am trying to focus on the good. I am better! Even a little bit counts! The hard realization that I am still sick is just life, and facing reality is better than trying to ignore it. My life won't look like the life of a person who is healthy. Not everyone is going to understand that, and that's also okay. 

I can still have dreams even with a chronic illness. They may be modified, slower dreams, but I can still dream them.

And I can still raise beautiful babies. God's blessings are so evident in my life. He is so good and he has been good to me, too.

What Chronic Illness makes hard: being intimate with my spouse, cooking, cleaning, parenting, homeschooling, going to church, volunteering, going out of my house, laundry, exercising, driving, moving, standing up, concentrating, singing...

What Chronic Illness doesn't make hard (for me): sunsets, warm days, reading books, listening to music, enjoying chocolate, smiling at my husband when he gets home from work, making lists, hugging my babies...

There is still joy to be found even in the hard parts. Thanks be to the Lord!

A Random Assortment of Updates

I forgot so many things at the store yesterday. Do you ever do that? Anyway, the kids and I were headed to a birthday party so I sent hubby to the store to get eggs, sour cream, and salt. Yes, we were completely out of salt. On a day that I also decided to make bone broth! 

Birthday Party Fun!

Anyway, its now Sunday and I just realized we are also out of cream cheese! We always buy cream cheese! Every week! What was I thinking? 

It has been a crazy 6 days. I don't know officially if I have Alpha Gal, but I really think I do. I suppose I should go in for a blood test to confirm my self-diagnosis. I think I have had it for a year. That was the first time I noticed having these awful allergies. My symptoms are random allergy attacks, like in the middle of the night sometimes! Asthma. Itchy throat, itchy ears, hives on the top of my mouth, stomach bloating and fatigue, constipation...when I have an attack of these, I usually am laid up in bed for a day. Or two! In the past month I have even had trouble breathing. I have been at my wits end to figure this out...

I also have other autoimmune issues like type two diabetes and IBS-C that I have had for years and years, but all the other symptoms that I listed above are new from the past year or so. 

I have now been mammal-product free for almost one week--I started last Monday--and I feel a lot better. My allergies are way better! I also feel less stressed about what in the world I am going to eat. Also, I was using a tallow lotion and tallow toothpaste and I need new lotion and toothpaste! I'm trying to read the ingredient list on everything that goes on my body or in my mouth. I just realized while writing this that I also own a tallow based hand soap...that will have to go.

We have a relaxed week of homeschooling coming up, and hopefully I can do some organizing. I need to make a list of home-school books to buy over the summer. I need to do some shopping for our summer plans--weeks spent by the pool! I want to get some snack containers and thin towels like turkish towels...anything to make lots of time spent in the sun easier. We also need to buy sunscreen, but we have two whole months until the pool opens to plan it out. 

Oh, and I'm also planning a garden. It's going to be great, I hope! We shall see...the garden plot is tilled and ready and now I'm just waiting on the weather. 

God is good and I am hopeful that as I continue to cut out mammal products I will continue to feel better...and better, and maybe I can have a summer with energy that is not spent in bed, or crying from allergies. One can hope?

I am content with what God gives me. Every day is a gift. 

I'm going to lay in bed and eat chocolate.