Maybe they will eat it tomorrow

Sometimes as a mom I don't know who I am trying to be. It's like I'm just someone who makes meals or does laundry or watches 20-second reels and not a living breathing person. So much of motherhood is being a machine, because things need to be done...but obviously no human is a machine. Perhaps this is part of why we are all tired and depressed. Or maybe it's the reels. 20/30/40 second videos should be illegal. I can watch 10 of them and not remember anything I just saw. Seriously nothing good, or bad, is gained from a 30 second video. I don't know why I watch them. I try not too, but sometimes when I am particularly tired and bored suddenly I've watched 324 and my kids are melting down. 

Remembering to honor and cherish and care for the person inside myself is what I am trying to do, and that can't be done with Youtube or television or a motherhood podcast. Rest is so important. The mysterious soul that enlivens the body, the woman the mother was before she became that all-encompassing persona, needs to live. And living does include washing dishes, but also includes enjoying the grass and watching a sunset. 

Being a mother is amazing. But I'll be something after my kids grow up too. 

Anyway, I started reading Elizabeth and Her German Garden today but I only got three pages in because there was a lot going on. Just as I put my knitting down and picked up the book somehow Esther got kicked in the face by Becky and (she's fine) there was boo-boos to take care of and stress to calm down from and I never returned to my book. 

Today was crazy. I didn't know if I could do it all. We had bagels for breakfast and one kid just left theirs on a plate in the kitchen for hours...I finally threw it away around 3pm. Reuben had a dental appointment and he gets his arch expander out in October, which is a long way away but at least we have a date. Becky went to a little day camp for ballet but she said she missed me and doesn't want to do it next year...that's okay. There were a lot of kids there when I dropped her off. Last year there was about 1/3 as many and she had a blast! I think they overbooked this camp a bit and it made it too chaotic for my budding introvert who was expecting something different. Also, the camp was called Squish-mallow Ballet Camp and...Daddy and her designed a cape for her pineapple squish-mallow that she wanted to bring with her, which was so adorable. She spent all evening working on it with Daddy's help yesterday and was so excited to bring it to camp on Monday. 

If you've met Becky, you know she loves crafts. She's happiest painting or drawing or designing something and she loves to embroider too! So, the cape--she embodied "PINE" the back and I am just in awe of her! Anyway she said at camp she was made to dance 'hip-hop' and she wasn't allowed to bring her squishy mallow in to the dance room, which made her sad. Who has a camp named squish mallow ballet camp and doesn't let the squish mallow come? 

In unrelated news, I hate the word(s?) squish mallow. Why? Call it what it is, a pillow. Or a stuffed animal without arms/legs because that makes it easier, and definitely cheaper, to sew. 

Anyway, we wanted to go swimming today but it was overcast in the mid-70s, so I told the kids no at lunch. We had pbjs for lunch with grapes, leftover meatballs from yesterday, and pickles and hard boiled eggs. It was kind of a what's in the fridge lunch...the kids were bummed but they understood. I texted the three friends who had said they might be able to meet up but as I texted the last one she said she was still going, so I was like, why not? We'll still go. Maybe the pool will be empty and we'll have a blast even in the cold.

So we went. As I pulled up, a busload of children from a local summer camp was unloading. So much for the pool by ourselves, I thought. It's me, my friend, and 30 six year olds...but I mean, I can't be mad. It's a public pool and I don't own it. But I just had to laugh at myself and my very unrealistic expectations. 

It was cold, but we acclimated....and the kids had so much fun. I did too! We stayed for an hour and a half but I wanted to get home for Esther's nap, which she didn't end up taking...but I tried. Maybe she is done with naps. I can't tell. 

Since she wasn't asleep I let her watch bluey for awhile so I could knit and make dinner. The older two were playing Minecraft. 

I made chicken, rice and roasted veggies and... if you guessed that one of my children didn't eat my delicious healthily prepared food again, you'd be right. It was a different child from the one who abandoned breakfast. 

I saved it though. Maybe they will eat it tomorrow. Or I will. Food is too expensive to waste.

Then we had the adventure of Esther being kicked in the face that I mentioned above and the crazy roulette wheel of bedtime...I won't say bedtime routine. What we have is not a routine. We are all too tired for routines by 8pm. But now everyone is in bed and I think everyone, for now, is asleep but for me. I'm up realizing that I did not take a single picture on my phone today, so I don't have a picture for today's post unless I find one from a previous day...

Here's one from yesterday of everyone getting ready for bed and being happy, which generally we are unless someones hungry, too close to someone else, touching another persons toy, or suddenly realizing they have an hour and nothing to do with it. 

I'm being funny, but really. Motherhood is amazing, I am blessed, and I need more chocolate. 

Tonight I'll settle for this rose and mushroom tea. I know, it doesn't sound like it goes together, but it does. Trust me.

And that was summer break day 2, Week 6.