Day ONE of school!

Today was the first good day in a long time. Reuben had a one day illness and Esther is on the mend. But she broke out in spots! Remember in January when I had a spotty Esther? Esther is spotty now but they are pitted and more itchy. Poor Esther. Hopefully she will be better soon. These spots are on the backs of her legs, arms, and much less on her face than before. Why? I can only guess. At least she is feeling better, although a bit itchy. Whatever it is, I hope it isn't contagious and I hope she heals soon. I suspect HFM, but I'm not an expert.

I don't think its chicken pox given that Reuben and Becky are spot free and have never had chickenpox. Reuben had one day of a fever and feeling ill but he's back to himself today.

My 5th grader and 2nd grader!

Anyway, we started school. Today we did just the "together" subjects, or what I call morning time. We did devotions and prayers, poetry, hymns, bible verses, picture study, phonics, paper sloyd and painting. Then I did some math with Becky. Tomorrow we will start to add in the other various subjects and get the ball rolling! I'm so excited. 

My health is really not good these days. Hoping it improves soon. I like to give 100 percent to my family and when I have a stomachache, no energy, high blood sugar, and/or an allergy attack I can't do that. And sometimes I have all those things at once, and even more...little problems that drive me crazy, like eyesight issues, pain that comes and goes...breathing issues...sigh. I don't like thinking about this. 

I need to learn to rest, and be happy with the body God has given me, but I do wish my body could do more, like go out in the evenings and have time for friends. Sometimes I feel so stuck and at those times I have to remind myself of what I do have: a lovely family, a beautiful house, an amazing hardworking husband and an atmosphere of peace and joy that I can cultivate and grow. God really is good. 

Last week was really hard as it was also the due date for the baby I lost in October. I kept thinking "I should be holding my newborn now. I should be introducing the new baby to Esther and she'd be a big sister" and then I'd start crying and it just wasn't a good week.  Miscarriage is never easy and I am so tired of having them. Another reason my body sucks and I wish I was healthier. I'm not getting any younger, and while I am so blessed to have three beautiful children who are amazing and spoil me every day--I always wanted a big family--and as time goes on that dream becomes less and less of a reality. Some day soon I will hit menopause, probably in the next 5 to 8 years, and then it won't be a maybe or a if but a dream in the past that can never come true. And that is hard to face. When I had my first miscarriage I was in my 20s. My last one I was 37. I am now 38, and wondering what is next. I've had seven miscarriages and I miss each baby. 

I didn't want to end on such a sad note, but Esther is throwing a fit because her kombucha cup is empty and my full cup sitting here next to me isn't at all the vogue she was dreaming of. 

Okay...

 Well, um, hi. Everything is terrible.

First off, Esther has a temperature of 103 and it's our first day of school. Can we all laugh together? So I don't start crying? Reuben is sick too, but not as a bad. Becky feels better after her herb bath.

School? Yeah, didn't happen. 

Screen time? Yeah. Uh. Let's not talk about it. Esther is two and only wants me to hold her unless she's listening to Elsa and Anna sing. Or Bluey. She loves Bluey. I think we watched at least 12 episodes today.

I did notice that I made an error in math in my budget post so I fixed that and I deleted the title of my last blog because no, there will not be a part two to our last week of summer vacation, because that was full of arguing with my husband and crying and being so anxious I couldn't move...but we won't talk about that.

Everything is fine in that department now. I think. Communication is hard and this is 13 years of marriage in a economy that's beyond dumpster fire and I have three children (who are wonderful) who desire food at a bare minimum of three times a day. Why is everything so expensive? 

I'm going to make cookies now and who cares if we are all getting sick, this is a cookie kind of day. 

It's a good thing I have Jesus. 

Budget July 20-26th

Last week we ended up with $140 leftover. This week we had 1,100 for the week, with the $140 added that made 1,240.

We wanted to pay our home taxes this week--they are due in December and that's always a bad month to have an extra bill with Christmas. But we were not able to swing it. 

What we Spent July 20-26th:

• Credit Card Payment $200
• Tithe $50
• Homeschool Stuff $33
• Hobby Lobby School Supply Run $111
• Natural Path Visit / Supplement Purchase $170
• Chick-fil-a for the kids $22
• Taproots (bought electrolyte powder x2) $75
• Savings $100
• Walmart $212
• Withdraw from bank (fun money/ farmers market fund) $100
• Pizza night for kids and hubby (I can't eat it) $38
• Gas $31  

All together that was $1,142 which means it was $98 from our budget. And I didn't get to Krogers for some groceries I really needed. Um, this week caused me to be really introspective. I don't think I"ll be going to the natural path again, we can't afford it--she is 145 an hour and I also purchased a probiotic. (I love my natural path though and she's helping me a lot with my health but yes, it is an added expense). 

I forgot hubby bought these bins to organize his shed...

We ate out twice, and we probably shouldn't do that while we are trying to get our budget under control. We did need the homeschool supplies. We have been out of oil paints forever and our paintbrushes are literally glued together, we needed paper and clay for earring making (that is what Becky chose for her craft this term) but I suppose I could have waited to buy a few other of our school supplies until next week. We also could have cut back on Walmart. We did buy a $40 box of diapers with our groceries but that $18 sweater I really wanted I could have done without (but it's so cute and it goes with everything I own, and it would be perfect for fall!). I could have only bought one electrolyte powder--see the kids like a different flavor and I hate that flavor and last time I only bought their flavor so I wanted my flavor but we also needed theirs... but...but... you see how it goes. I use the powder at the gym every week.

SO this week was a disaster in slight impulse shopping and eating out. And we had no bills going through this week or it would have been a nightmare. 

Honestly I think I forgot to check our budget when I was out. Each time I was like, this seems reasonable, and it wasn't until I got home to clock it in that I realized we were cutting it really close. 

I'm sitting down doing our budget for next week on paper right now--the 27th of July to the 2nd of August and we really need to pay that tax bill! And we have to pay off our credit card in the next two weeks and that's another $346... So, next week will be interesting to hash out...