I realize all I've been talking about here lately is baby. Other things just aren't happening in my life right now. I'm experiencing one of those weird blogging moments where I'm actually living and not theorizing as much about my thoughts/ feelings/ experiences. I'm one of those hindsight people--life happens and then I sit down and think about it. A lot. However, baby keeps happening and does not give me much time to think. Hence, many things are going on but at such a rate I can't keep up and process them all into coherent sentences. Pregnancy so far has been a roller coaster.
I realize I'm changing. I realize my husband and I just went though one of the hardest things in our marriage. A time when I was basically incapable of taking care of myself and he handled almost everything on top of work. And I cried on him a lot. I won't lie, I was miserable. And let's not even talk about the sex. Actually, there wasn't any--so there isn't much to talk about. But I know it took a toll on our marriage. I mean, in the first trimester it's not that I didn't desire my husband. Sex just hurt! And that has never happened to me before in my entire life. I don't know what changed down there but something did. Luckily, the second trimester seems to have straightened things out more or less. We are still progressing. We are still moving forward.
Yesterday I had nausea again for half the day that made me so worried the whole last three weeks were a dream and I was going to be sick for another 6 weeks. But it was just for a few hours. Why? I don't know. Oh well.
How are you guys doing? I don't want you to think my life is all bad. I've been crocheting. I've been dreaming of buying baby things (and there are A LOT to choose from, ohmygoodness) and I've been thinking of names. I'm happy. But I'm learning and growing and changing so fast! I just want it to slow down so I can write it all out and process it. I'm a processor. That is one reason blogging helps so much. And I love the advice and feedback you all give me. I really, really do.
