Dietary Woes

I think what it boils down to is that I'm just afraid of change. I think that is why I have been resisting these serious allergies. I don't want to own six different types of flour or learn how to make gluten free sourdough. I want my body to just work like everyone else's bodies...

For a long time I was able to tolerate einkorn flour with no issues. Now when I try einkorn flour I get a massive asthma attack about 30 minutes later and inflammation problems, especially in my legs. It hurts. I have tried it three times over the past few months and each time the same reaction. Devastation doesn't begin to cover the scope of my emotions. 

Something changed in the last year somewhere and now I cannot have einkorn flour or einkorn products. I must adjust.

All of our cookbooks have arrived. I am starting at a tower of four gluten, dairy, egg and soy free cookbooks and hoping they hold the answers I need to organize my culinary woes.

Here are our allergies:

Me: Gluten, alpha gal (all mammal products including butter, milk, cow...even trace amounts)

Becky: Severely lactose intolerant. Chocolate, Eggs, Chicken and all bird products (like turkey) (and something else hurts her we have to figure it out....) Her allergies are all gut allergies and present as severe stomach pain, vomiting...you get the idea. It isn't "oh I have a stomach ache" it's her doubled over in pain crying and not able to eat for several hours bad.  

Reuben: mildly lactose intolerant. Anaphylactic to avocado, and raw banana (he can have cooked banana) and even someone eating a banana next to him can majorly bother him. He gets a tight throat, mild hives from beans, some melon, kiwi, and uncooked bell peppers and peppers of any kind. He can have cooked peppers. I have never tried to cook the kiwi and give it to him. He cannot have most beans but lentils and garbanzo beans are fine for him. He also has a latex allergy. 

Brian: severely lactose intolerant.  has the bean allergy but can do lentils. He can do garbanzo beans the first time I sprout and cook them but cannot eat garbanzo beans as leftovers. I don't get it. He also seems to react to tomatoes and chili powder... but says he loves them and please don't worry about it (I worry about it)

Esther: The pea in the pod who seems she is just mildly lactose intolerant. A blessing, a ray of sunshine in the midst of our sea of food woes. May she continue as thus and enjoy good health forever more. 

How did it get so complicated? I am overwhelmed just reading this yet here I am the nurturer and main cook in our home and I somehow have to make meals that deal with all of these things...good meals that nourish my growing children and also don't take up too much time because we are also homeschooling...

Anyway, please pray for me. The stack of books is calling and I am about to crack them open and make a meal plan for the next three days. We are going to start working through these books and attempt to find staples to sustain us.

The books I bought (from thrift books) are:

1. Nourishing Meals by Alissa Segersten
2. An Allergy Mom's Lifesaving Instant Pot Cookbook by Megan Lavin
3. Allergy-Free and Easy Cooking by Cybele Pascal
4. 150 Allergy-Free Recipes for Everyday and Entertaining; Pure Delicious by Heather Christo 

I'll let you know which one we like the best.

We have been gluten, dairy and egg free before in 2016 and 2017. We can do this again. It's hard, it is expensive and it's a lot of work but I know I can get in the groove and we can thrive. I just need to get there. We are no where near yet...

Here is to next week and new trends and...I'm about to drop like $200 on gluten free flours and rice noodles. 

I just want to know...does it get better? 

I hope it gets better.

Also isn't this coat (found at goodwill for $2.99 with the matching hat) for Esther adorable? She is obsessed and so am I. 

Pumpkin Patching

We had a great few days so today I decided to run errands after school was over. 

actual photograph of how we did school today, snuggled 
under heating blankets with half-eaten breakfast

The school day dragged on, Friday is always hard. It's still a school day but its almost the weekend. Mommy is tired. Everyone is tired. But here we are still showing up! We didn't start until 9 which is unusual for us but I needed a quiet morning to decompress.

And by decompress, I mean from my life choices, which I love. But I digress.

Anyway, I made the kids bagels and myself bean and rice tacos with guacamole. It was perfection, only broken up by a few tantrums because we are all still human. 

After school, everyone was excited to go out! We ran to Taproots first and bought lip balm and a few other necessities, like lotion. Every fall I buy new lotion and lip balm because it really only lasts a year and I only seem to need it in fall/winter, when the dry cold weather comes. Also, we always loose the lip balm by Christmas and I have to buy more. Good thing it's only a few dollars? Oh, and I always like to buy a different lotion scent. This time I bought a vanilla one and it smells awesome and will live by the front door for everyone to use. 

I would like to point out everyone gets their own lip balm, but we all share the same lotion. For some reason this is a very important clarification. 

Everyone was pretty well behaved at this point but I was already tired of getting my toddler in and out of the car. Why is this so hard? She's barely three feet but for some reason it's like wrangling a feral octopus every time I try to go into the store. And it's sometimes a fight to get her to hold my hand. And usually I open the door to find her shoes and socks off and...well, every mom has probably done that treasure hunt. It's just a lot, and I wanted to go home at this point but everyone was excited about our next location...which was Hobby Lobby. 

Hobby Lobby is where it all fell apart, which is perfect when you are learning about entropy in your homeschool, or about God's everlasting grace, but also hard because I'm Tired, Forty Years Old (in January) and So Over It. Anyway, my three year old is completely feral. She doesn't know how to behave in public and I'm trying to teach her but I think I'm a bad teacher, or something. Perhaps we don't go out enough. Anyway, we were at Hobby Lobby. The kids really wanted these alcohol markers for coloring and Hobby Lobby had the best price. They had good packs of markers for $12.99 each and I got one for each kid. 

Esther asked every three feet if she could have something, whining and crying when I said no, carrying things around when I asked her to put it down...I was about to lose my mind. I think when she acted up maybe I should have just left? But that would have been no fun for my big kids. Everyone picked out a new cute coloring book after the markers. Esther wanted to run here and there and touch everything and ask loud questions about passersbys "What's wrong with that lady? Why is she so short? I'm hungry! I want a TOY" In true feral passion.

She is the best main character in her own story and she definitely wants to be the main event in a lot of other peoples stories too...

At the check out there was an elderly lady with a little poodle dog and Esther and Becky were obsessed. They wanted to pet the dog then they wanted to pick up all the candy and ask if they could have that and I was trying to pay and leave and it was just chaos. I'm sure the poor teenage cashier will never want to have kids, if she was paying attention. She seemed to be doing her best to disassociate from her entire job experience the whole time I was there; but who am I to judge. Working retail isn't the most fun...I remember.

Our third event of the evening was to get Reuben a Halloween costume. We went to the mall to visit Spirit Halloween but couldn't find it anywhere. It turns out it was over near Liberty University and we were in the entirely wrong place, but I didn't find that out until after dinner. Anyway, we couldn't find it and thus Reuben did not get a costume, which is fine but he was disappointed. We will continue looking tomorrow. 

We did get pretzels, which was nice. I got one for each kid after looking up if they had eggs in them to find out if Becky could eat them. It said they did not have eggs in them, but it still gave her bloating issues and a stomachache so I"m not sure what is up... I mean, it's junk food...

silly Reuben

Our fourth and final adventure was to the ratchet pumpkin patch on the way home. We drive by this tent-and pumpkin selling market/fun house thing whenever we head to piano and the kids are always begging to go. Reuben did go once with daddy when he was two, but I just haven't made it out with Becky or Esther who want their turn. Not that Reuben remembers being there at two... anyway, today was the day. I promised we would make it this year before they closed after Halloween and I'm thrilled to say I kept my word.  

The kids had fun and I enjoyed getting a little bit of sunshine. This place was a little bit sketchy but seriously fun and everyone had a great time playing on all the blow up rides that looked like they should have been retired last year...and were literally, in some places, being held together with duct tape.

And at that point I was utterly done. I loaded up my overly aired children and took everyone home to watch a movie while I puttered around the house and continued to contemplate my existence. 

So, here we are. We all survived and life is beautiful. I've put myself to bed with a pack of free2b sunbutter cups (hey these things are delicious and made in a dedicated dairy free facility) and next I think I'll read a book. The last two books I tried to read bombed spectacularly. Lady Anna was horribly boring--seriously could have been shorter. Which is sad because I adore Trollope but I guess not everything is going to be five stars...I also tried The Pemberley Chronicles and it is the worst writing I have encountered in a long time. It's like watching characters move from above. There is no feeling or dialog in the book. I gave up after making myself read a few chapters. It's really awful. How does this book have so many good reviews? I could not stand it!

Obviously if you have any book recommendations, pass them on? I need a new read.

Alas, the chocolate is gone and I need to brush my teeth and do some cleaning rounds before I head to bed. Tomorrow is an unusually busy day...Reuben and I get to try something new! 

I'm pulling the plug.

In March of this year is when I found out I had alpha gal (I'd had it for years and it had been getting worse and worse and I had finally figured it out) we went on two separate diets in our house. A month after I found out about alpha gal, I figured out Becky had it. Then a few weeks later I started miscarrying our 11th baby--my 8th miscarriage--which went on for over two months as I continued to stop and start bleeding. Becky's alpha gal is now in remission, thank goodness! Mine is not. Doing the diet helped me to discover that Becky had an egg allergy. She had been having stomach pain on and off before the alpha gal diagnosis (and certainly alpha gal was part of it) but after going on the homeopathy for 30 days she was able to eat meat and have dairy again without issue. Becky is also allergic to chicken, turkey and turkey eggs, and quite possibly all bird and bird products. I think this is because we kept feeding her eggs for so long without realizing that eggs were the problem. Ugh, mom guilt! Poor Becky. But I'm so glad we have now figured it out!

I finally sat down yesterday (in an exhausted heap) and decided that we are all going on the same diet with a few variations. I can't keep trying to make two meals or stagger leftovers, it's driving me crazy. I need to have brain space for homeschooling and I'm so tired of not knowing what is for dinner or lunch or breakfast...breakfast has been a hot mess for awhile.

We are all going to go gluten free. And everything we make will be dairy free. I will keep raw milk around for the kids to drink so that we have a source of calcium, but we won't cook with it. We will all be egg free and if we can manage this then all I will have to do is make chicken and beef when needed and beans on the side. (Brian and Reuben are allergic to beans) We desperately need a diet in our home that everyone can eat. 

I went on thrift books and ordered 4 "top 8 free" allergy friendly cookbooks and I can't wait to get them. I told the kids we are going to take these cookbooks and systematically go through them and find some meals we like and take the guesswork out of meal time. Yes, it's going to be hard. We have a lot of gluten things in our home that we will give to a friend as we transition. But we are going to do this and learn how to nourish each other and thrive. We will make ONE meal for everyone! 

A journey has to start somewhere, doesn't it? I have been gluten and egg free before, but only when I was either by myself and/or with small toddlers, not homeschooling. I'm glad I have a big 11 year old to help me who loves baking, and an inquisitive 8 year old who enjoys chopping and a toddler who just loves mixing things in a big bowl. 

I didn't want to do this--I don't want to make my kids who can tolerate gluten be gluten free or everyone be egg free just for Becky-- but there are just too many allergies to manage, so we are going to try consolidating everyone. And if it doesn't work better than what we are doing now we can always go back. 

I had a very relaxed morning today with my devotions and soup for breakfast. God is so good and I am trying to trust in him through all these crazy times...as we miss our Pastor who passed away in September and I just found out another friend is having a still birth, which is devastating. There is so much sorrow in the world.  Through it all God is there, guiding us home. 

Sick vacation

This is not the post I was hoping to write...we are all still sick. This was supposed to be Daddy's fall vacation week and here he is sick in bed with flu symptoms. Reuben, Becky and Esther are still on the mend as well, Reuben is almost well, but he had a UTI after his cold we had to deal with and I'm waiting to see if it is all taken care of. Becky and Esther are still coughing. It has been overwhelming to say the least! 

Esther has been waking up 3-4 times a night and last night I woke up with an alpha gal attack at 2am. We are all exhausted. I have decided to cut out all alpha gal products at home again by this weekend. It isn't working trying to do two things at home, I am suffering and it is unsustainable. I hope to be better in a month and if not we will have to figure something out for the health of our family. My kids need meat and I can't cook it, or be around the fumes from cooking it. Becky is allergic to eggs and chicken and Reuben is allergic to beans and avocado, kiwi, banana, bell peppers and some melons. It's crazy over here...

I called two acupuncture places over the week and East West Acupuncture is visiting China and not coming back until November--I made an appointment there for November 11th. Acupuncture Works is also in my area and they are also traveling until November. (hey, maybe they travel together?) But I have that appointment with East West already booked and that's a relief. Hopefully I can hang on for another month. I wonder if it will work? It would be nice to be all better by Thanksgiving. 

I'm slightly terrified of acupuncture, but I hate alpha gal more. I really hope this works. 

Esther is watching Pocoyo on YouTube with the big kids and I just heated up some leftover pea soup for lunch and I'm so tired of all the illness and the need for screen time. Praying tomorrow will be better.

I did get to do a little craft with Becky this morning after karate. She made a little stuffed rabbit and I made a Christmas tree ornament and that was so nice and relaxing. Then Esther decided to start screaming and clinging to my leg and it all went downhill from there. Three is a hard age, especially when you are sick.

Tomorrow might be better. But it might not. Who knows? I'm praying for healing, peace and rest for my little household, and for perseverance through all our allergies...and that I will stay well, trust in the Lord, and find the strength to clean the house...

Drostra Week

We've had a string of bad days lately and I am just so over it! So many annoying things have happened--little things, but they add up.

I tried to buy Panera for my kids only to find out everything has egg in it. Even the Mac and cheese has egg white powder added as a thickener. Mac and cheese does not need eggs in it! What is this nonsense? We did the drive through and they forgot one whole sandwich I ordered and I had to drive all the way back for a refund. Which took away the ease and rest I was trying to attain by using the drive through. 

I know, you are thinking: why didn't I check the bag? Esther was crying and Becky was asking me when we would be home and she was so upset that she couldn't have anything and I felt like such a useless mom because I was sure she could at least have the mac and cheese... and it was just chaos and I didn't think to check! The manager was rude to me on the phone when I called until she found my sandwich sitting waiting to be packaged--I guess she thought I was making it up for a refund. I clearly wasn't. 

Our hot water doesn't work sometimes. This is an issue with our solar panels and I don't want to get into it because there is nothing I can do about it. I do not like the solar panels most of the time. But I need hot water especially with sick kids that need herb baths, not to mention laundry and dishes...I'm sure my husband will fix it...eventually.

The next day we went to our chiropractor appointment only to find that we didn't have a chiro appointment. It is unclear if it was my mistake or hers. Scheduling issues happen I totally understand but on top of everything it just added to my overwhelm. 

Esther has finally caught the illness the kids passed around and she is very sick! I love her, and I have been trying to take care of her but clingy babies make for zero productivity which makes me depressed. This is not her fault. It is clearly a personal problem with myself. 

We have had one day of school in the last week and a half. The big kids are all coughing like crazy and I am running on very interrupted sleep due to sick Esther. Brian is also sick and I don't know why, but this is beyond my limit of problem juggling. All my balls are going to be dropped and I can't figure out why my brain is screaming at me and I feel like a failure.

Adulthood sure is fun sometimes. 

I know that not everything rests on me and I shouldn't try to hold up the world. It's okay to go slower when things are hard and this is a very hard season! So things are going to be rocky for awhile until we find our new medium. 

But sometimes it is difficult to see where to start.

I think I'll start with a chai latte and more Pepa Pig for the sick Esther...and heading to the homeopathy store to get some more remedies for coughs, colds, and stressed-out moms. 

I bought Drostra 30 and 200 and Rumex crispus.

Tuesday

Once again I'm sitting here listening to my children play, but instead of joy today I feel sad. Not for my children, nor for the weather--it's a gorgeous 60f outdoors right now--but for myself. I'm so tired of being chronically ill and fighting my body through the long homeschool days. We did a bit of homeschooling today and then I sat down and tried to see what I could do about some of my persistent symptoms. I always feel better with a plan.

For my chronic IBS-C I have decided to go down to two meals a day, and make sure one is blended. I'll eat a big lunch--I plan to have a salad daily with a carb side. Today it was potato salad. I love potato salad, and I also had a chickpea and chicken salad with delicious Greek dressing on it. Then for dinner I'll have something blended. Today it was a smoothie. Maybe this will get things moving and help me be less constipated. 

I also decided to take some aloe daily. I have George's Always Active Aloe and it didn't help me before but that doesn't mean I can't try it again. I'm going to take it around 3pm so it has a good long time to help my gut before my liquid dinner, and I'm going to start with 1/4 a cup daily. For dinners I could do a smoothie but I am thinking of doing blended bone broth soups. I could make sweet potato soup. I love soup, so this will be good, and good for my body hopefully. But also hard, because I will be making 2 separate meals some times. This way I can freeze the soup for me, and I can batch cook it on the weekends, but I'll have to make something for everyone else. Today I made Becky a bean and rice bowl and Reuben, Daddy (well, he isn't home yet but his food is done) and Esther had leftovers that included chicken (so Becky couldn't eat it). Our allergies are strange but here we are...

But, I know I've got to do something because living like this isn't sustainable. I just feel so downtrodden today. Will anything ever get better? What is wrong with me? Why can't I heal? What am I missing? Will these changes even help me or just torture me with food discipline... I wonder, and I pray. 

God healed me for one month in April and it was wonderful. Why could I heal then and now now? What am I doing wrong? I want to be well and have energy to enjoy a full life with my children. They are so fun and amazing and I wish I could take the hours I spend working on my health or lying in bed recuperating/resting and instead spend it with them. God is so good and I do what I can but one can always dream of more, right? I don't want it to be just dreams or wishful thinking. I want it to be reality, but I can't make it happen any more than I can make the moon rise.

But God can, and he is a God of beautiful miracles and if he wants me to live like this, I guess I will continue cobbling along and dreaming of the stars.  

I read Psalm 146 today. I'm almost through my read-through of psalms. Even though I've skipped some and also the entirety of that huge long psalm (I think it's 119)...I'll save those for another day. What book should I read next?

I love how when Esther gets "hurt" Becky makes a ambulance noise (neee-naaaah nee-nahhh) and pretends to doctor her all up. She just got knocked over on the trampoline (she's fine or she'd come get me) but she needed a big sister to patch her up for 20 seconds and now she's jumping in glee again. 

It's wonderful to watch her be 3.

Anyway, after all the sick yesterday Reuben noticed he'd lost his shoes. The ones I gave him. I was venting about it to three ladies at my church in a group chat because...those are my shoes. Yes, I gave them to him but also I wanted them back when he outgrew them and they were $200 leather barefoot shoes and now they are lost. One of the ladies said she thought they were at church and she would bring them to me after ladies bible study if so....isn't God's providence good? I was just mad but maybe his shoes are only at church. It's funny how things work out...

Do most 11 year old boys lose their shoes or is it just mine? 

Do most 11 year old boys wear their mothers shoe size? 

Reuben is going to be very tall, I think.

He started reading Black Beauty today, and though I know I read that book somewhere in elementary school I cannot remember a single thing about it. He says he knows it will be good because Charlotte told him it would be. 

Here is the only picture I've taken today--Esther this morning with her cowlick walking her pet yo-yo around the counter. 

I feel a little bit better. I think after I switch the laundry and remind Reuben to clean up his cookie-cooking mess, I'll play Stawdew Valley and hope my husband comes home soon...

Monday

There is nothing more beautiful than the happy noises of children playing outside, and no one can convince me otherwise. 

We have all been sick to varying degrees--Reuben the worst--and here we are on a Monday with the sun shining and everyone almost better. I'm not sure what we had--some type of sore throat/sinus problems but it also rained all weekend and with everyone sick it was a very cozy sort of hiatus.

God has been so good recently and I see him everywhere. Which also makes me feel like I'm going to die soon because how can I be this chronically ill but also full of so much peace? I'm not ready to go home to heaven yet, I want transformative healing to wash away all my inner complications... I want to see myself get better. I don't want this to be the end of my story.

Instead I keep getting worse and worse and wondering what I am doing wrong. It's been 14 years and I still have brain fog, chronic constipation, fatigue, bloating issues, stomach pain and gas, type two diabetes, blood clotting issues, 8 miscarriages, eye and teeth problems (and thats just a list of issues I had last week) and not only am I sicker than ever we are also broker than ever (thanks inflation) and busier than ever... home schooling with a toddler while I have anaphylactic alpha gal is not for the faint of heart. 

Yet I've let go of my anger, and of my expectations through the last 14 years. I can't go out at night, I can't have many friends, I can't do many things, at least not as many as I want too. Sometimes I put myself to bed at 11am and sometimes I have energy to wash the dinner dishes but not usually. I pray for healing and I try to do all I can: organic food, gluten free, holistic natural medicine. I exercise regularly. Right now I'm taking some probiotics to see if it will help...so far it has made everything worse! Ugh! 

I feel like I'm missing something but I can't see inside myself to see what I need. I don't know what to do! I have another doctor's appointment at the end of the month and I hope it can help. 

I don't know how I get through the day and I mostly try not to think about it and just do what I can and prioritize my family.

Anyway, today we had a reset day. Reuben had an orthodontist appointment and got his second set of Invisalign. He's halfway done! No one is more thrilled than he is. We did devotions and I made toast for breakfast. We read Magical Melons--which is the Caddie Woodlawn sequel--it isn't as good as the first one but we are enjoying it. I did a few chores and Reuben and Becky both had an herb bath, Becky upstairs in the girls bathroom and Reuben downstairs. I put lots of respiratory herbs in and I think it worked wonders (thank you Lord!) because they both are looking and acting much more normally except for the coughs...

We had a delicious lunch. I had salad with chicken and chickpeas and the kids had Mac and cheese, leftover pot roast, and peas. Esther in true toddler fashion ate only her cheesy noodles. 

After lunch we had rest time and everyone played Stardew Valley. I'm in fall of year 1 and Becky is in summer of year 1 and Reuben is in winter of year 1.

Becky doesn't plant anything and mostly mines to get money. Her commercial ideas certainly are interesting. 

It's dinner time now and I made fish and roasted veggies which is delicious. I'm going to eat and finish this blog post and then there is another round of cleaning and hopefully some knitting and crochet in my future. Also I finally got a picture of Esther in her new hat! I need to get a group photo. I wonder if I ever will?

We plan to homeschool tomorrow and finish out the week strong. That's always the plan and sometimes God has different ideas...and I just have to go with the flow. Like, for example when everyone was sick and I had an awful alpha gal attack and I don't even know what I ate! I told my husband we need to live in separate houses for my health. He laughed, but I wasn't joking. I wish I could figure out how to keep myself safe from the deadly alpha gal and also feed my family nutritious meals...instead one of us seems to suffer. 

Off tangents into my genealogy...

Sunday Brian taught our three year old how to drive. She is obsessed. It took her 15 minutes to not automatically crash but now she can do loops around the yard like a champ. She spent about 90 minutes yesterday doing it and again today and even though I know she will eventually get tired of it, I'm soaking it up! Yesterday I used that time to do a lot of school with the older kids and I was pleased when she wanted to drive today! We got a lot done that previously had been interrupted with pleas for water, bathroom help, snacks, coloring sheets, clothing changes, books to read...even when I try to help her not interrupt, three is just a hard age. Driving the car will help!

Esther does crash once about every 5-10 minutes and Becky, Reuben and I take turns helping her. Sometimes all we have to do is remind her to put it in reverse. 

After Becky was done with her school her and Esther played "taxi" outside with the car while I did a few subjects with Reuben before karate. 

Seeing her drive the little car brought back so many memories. It's been a long summer since Becky and Reuben could both fit in the car. Now Reuben can't fit at all and Becky has to fold herself up and half of herself is sticking out to fit! 

summer 2023

When Becky was five or six she had these amazing pink barefoot shoes and I had given them to a friend for her daughter to wear. The shoes have laces and I am convinced laces are the bane of every parent. It was at that time I decided never to buy my kids shoes with laces again! I do have two dyslexic children and I was over tying (and re-tying) shoes...of course both the older kids can now do it, but at the time I was angry and thus gave the shoes away thinking it would be forever and a day before Esther was 5 or 6 and could wear them and even if she could, would I want to put myself through the horror of tying toddler shoes 6 times a hour? My friend's daughter, Cozy, just outgrew them at 6 and a half years old. At church on Sunday she gave them back to me and they fit my three year old perfectly much to my complete and utter shock.

Esther is wearing clothing size 5 but still, this is ridiculous. Esther turned three in May. Becky wore these shoes when she was 5 or 6!! Becky (8) right now is a solid size 3 in shoe and Esther is wearing a size 10...that's what these little pink shoes are! Reuben (11) is wearing a woman's 8. 

Actually, Reuben needed new shoes and I just gave him two pairs of mine since I am an 8 and we didn't really have the budget for new shoes. He is thrilled.

I'm making chicken for dinner and just got done trying to research dyslexic math curriculum. Becky really struggles with math and I'm wondering if a different curriculum would help. She gets really anxious and stuck in a fear cycle when it comes to math and sometimes she will just cry! She does really well at math, we take it slow and she can do it. I know it takes a lot of concentration for her. She flips numbers and struggles to keep everything in line. 37 can be read at 72 and she still struggles with the teens. 17, 18...these numbers we read the second number first then the teen, and those are the only numbers that do that in English. For example, 28 you read the 2 first but 13 you read the 3 first. She will forget to borrow when it's 23 minus 17 she will do the 7 minus the 3. She tries to put two numbers in the ones place and flips a lot of numbers when she writes. Her brain is trying so hard and I think a different curriculum,  maybe one made for dyslexics, would help. If only I could find one... 

With Reuben today we read about Abraham Lincoln's assassination. My mom was always told she was directly related to John Wilkes Booth and I need to ask her about it next time she visits. I tried to look it up on Ancestry and I couldn't find it without paying, and I can't afford to pay right now but I'm fascinated and I might try to pay for it sometime in December...as a Christmas present to me!

As far as I can tell on my mothers side, I am related to William Arthur Meredith who married Olive Lafayette Chitwood (Parents John M Chitwood, 1848 and Lauren "Narley" Jane Reagan). They had three boys, Robert Allen Meredith, Cecil Meredith (my great great grandfather) and Frank Raney Meredith.

Cecil Meredith, born in 1904 and died in 1968, had one girl and two boys with his first wife, Thelma O Chesher (Parents of Thelma: Walter Anderson Chesher and Pearl Bowles). He had Cecil Jane (girl) Joe Martyn Meredith (my grandfather) and James Michael Meredith who was in the mob. 

Thelma with Jane

Cecil Meredith also married a second wife named Marguerite Sinz (1906-1999) and they had one child as far as I could tell named Beverly Clair Meredith.

Joe Meredith (my grandfather) his sister Cecil Jane (the baby in the above photo)
and James

So, Joe Martyn Meredith married Carolynn (who I am named after) Joe was my grandfather and he had my mom, Julie, who was the 5th and last child in his family. He had three other girls and one boy before my mom was born. She married Nathan Bullard and had two girls, me, Carolynn Ruth and my sister.

My grandmother, Carolynn Meredith, her parents were named Vivian Violet Klingenburg and Virgil Leroy Bevers. Vivian and Virgil had three daughters, Ruth who married my Uncle Fred. He was a Jew who escaped the holocaust and also spent time being in captivity in China (?) and eventually moved to California where he met Ruth. They had at least one daughter named Susan? Then Vivian and Virgil had my grandmother, Carolynn, and then Gail and Dianne. Dianne had Kelly, Michelle, Rebecca, Lori and maybe Leanne--two of whom were twins. I was contacted on 23 and me by someone named Jessica who was looking for information about her father (not related to me) but on her mother's side she was descended from Dianne. 

Back row, Left, Cecil Jane, unknown woman, unknown woman, Grandpa Joe and his little brother James
all of Grandpa Joes kids in the front, my mom is the littlest one in the middle. 

Genealogy is very confusing. Oh, and my mom did tell me who those two ladies were in the back but I have forgotten. Ooops. 

Anyway, there is also the fact that Brian's grandfather was adopted and I'd love to look into that too...

Is my life a joke?

Well here I am staring another week in the face and feeling tired and unprepared. I guess this is just my life now! At least I am used to it? 

It's not like I was lazy: I have two lunches prepped for myself, and lunch to send with Brian to work, and a vague plan in my head for the kids for at least one meal...we have fish thawed...maybe we will do turkey sandwiches for the other meal. I do not currently have turkey but I can run to the store during Reuben's piano lesson. 

The kitchen is not a mess but it's not perfect either. 

I think part of it is how chaotic school was last week. Someone was always having a meltdown and we didn't finish everything. Which is so normal but it feels like I'm still holding onto all the loose ends! How do I tie them up into neat bows when I wasn't able to check them off my list? Perhaps I'll feel better after tomorrow. 

I've had kinda a light headache all day too which has not helped my irritation. Since I felt bad, I laid down a lot, and the kids (and husband) went bananas without me to remind them about all the chores. Which did NOT make me feel rested, loved, or respected when I got up an hour later to find dishes covering the table and cookie mess strewn everywhere... and Esther had dumped out a board game... So, we all stopped what we were doing and cleaned up and then I had a minor lecture moment where I reminded everyone that just because I am resting does not mean they can shirk their responsibilities.

Sometimes I feel like the only parent in this household! 

I'm sure my husband feels that way too at times.

Anyway, I was able to crochet about 3 rows of a new hat and it's soft, pinky/purple and I'm excited to wear it. I'm also making dark yellowy/ fall vibe boot cuff warmers and hoping I get them done in time for winter! I also finished this hat and I love it. 

I also had a very bad health week. Fatigue and two alpha gal reactions...no fun. I'm so tired of having alpha gal. I need to call and schedule acupuncture but I keep overthinking it. If it doesn't work, this is my last option. There are no other options. I've tried two rounds of homeopathy and it hasn't done anything that I've noticed (the second round does seem to help me manage my alpha gal reactions, but does not cure the allergy) and all that is left is to try acupuncture. I hate needles, I don't want to try it, it's expensive but I guess I should. I have a feeling it won't work, so why waste money? Maybe God will surprise me. Maybe I shouldn't be telling myself it's hopeless when God is a God of the miraculous. 

Anyway, I am going to try it. Eventually. 

I do trust God, and I love him and I know he loves me. Alpha gal, chronic illness, homeschooling, cooking with our allergies and navigating the crazy inflation...while also trying to make time for myself and my marriage.....this is crazy! 

One step at a time...even if its a step backwards? 

Hoping for better energy and focus from all members of my family next week. And for days to be fun as we all glorify God together in this crazy world. 

I wore my new sweater to church and to the farmers market and I couldn't be happier with it! 

I think what I need in my life is less seriousness and less rigid conformity to my checklist. Chronic illness can't be managed with spreadsheets and timelines and neither can toddlers. Expect the unexpected and learn to enjoy the interruptions should be my new motto going forward.

At dinner today Brian told a story about how when he was 8, his dad lost his job and they had to move from Arizona to Pennsylvania and how his mom, dad and him and his little brother (7) all moved in with his Grandpa and Grandma for a year while his Dad job searched. It was his dad's parents they all lived with and when Brian turned 9, everyone moved from PA for VA where we now live, and 32 years later Brian is working at the very same company his dad got his new job at. 

It just reminded me that God sees the big picture even when we are stuck on the long, slow route to wherever he is taking us. God knows where we are going, and he knew that little boy who was moving across the country from Arizona to Pennsylvania to Virginia would one day meet a girl who had lived here practically all her life and start a family of their very own. 

I also laughed a lot because Brian's Dad was 40 when that all happened and here is Brian at 41 with a three year old and Ford Wind Star, and I think his dad if he were still around would laugh. According to Brian he did not think Ford cars were that reliable. 

But here we all are still in Virginia and enjoying being a family together and glorifying the Lord in our small ways.

Anyway...with run-on sentences.

I woke up this morning and I did not want to start school with the kids. But I did it anyway. Which is good, because habits and discipline are important but it sucks that doing the right thing didn't help my inner attitude in the least! I was a grumpy homeschool mom on the inside while on the outside I was throwing together carrot cake muffins for breakfast. 

Perhaps I should have given myself a better pep talk while muffining (but the toddler was serenading me and it was hard to concentrate) or added a bunch of chocolate to my grocery list. (You know, the list that is right now in my head and not written down, because I clearly have too many things going on...)

Well, instead of school I deeply desired to go lay in bed, crochet a hat and eat chocolate for an hour and then deep clean my kitchen while listening to my favorite playlist while my kids entertained themselves outdoors or whatever...but I did tell the government I would handle the education of my children... So, we started with handwriting, did typing, math, and piano. By that point the carrot cake muffins were done and I was so excited because I sprouted them and they looked amazing, even if made without eggs (Becky is allergic to eggs poor Becky) and also I had figured out what was for breakfast before 8am and thought that the hardest part of my day was now over...feeding our family with our severe and strange allergies is no easy feat. 

Everyone hated the carrot cake muffins. Except for maybe Esther she ate 3/4ths of one and you never can tell if a toddler is just in grazing mode or didn't like it. I couldn't eat them because I'm gluten free and I put butter in them so they were full of Alpha gal and so I couldn't even try one to see if they were actually gross or if my kids were just being entitled? After breakfast we did Math, Bible, Poetry, Devotions, Singing, Bible Verses, Literature, Sex Ed and History. 

One of my kids had some severe attitudes which did not help our transitions go as smoothly (think crying and panicking over the fact it was Monday). Also, me too, me too but I didn't show it and was On Top of that Parenting...Anyway, after the meltdowns were done and I had finished taking the toddler potty for the 5th time, I let Becky go because she was done and we moved on to just Reuben's subjects which today included Dictation, Latin, Grammar, Spelling, Bible, more History and Literature. 

We just finished about 85% of our schedule and took a break for lunch (loaded nachos) where I decided to try this delicious new vegan cheese sauce I bought on a spurge...It's so good. I've gotten it before but ate it all myself and this time told the kids I'd share with them, since we were also out of sour cream. The kids were excited to try it though Reuben did ask me to check if it had beans in it. He is allergic to beans. I did make beans for the nachos but left them on the side...because everyone else loves beans. Seriously, feeding my family is crazy. I told him I would check but lost track and sat down and served everyone and he tried some as I was picking up the jar to read it. I immediately freaked out as the Primal Kitchen "No Dairy" Queso dip did not have beans but did have avocado oil in it. My son is anaphylactic allergic to avocado! Cue panic, we give him a totally new plate and he's very upset with me. I usually check everything I buy to see if it has avocado oil in it as unlike avocado flesh that is green you can't see if something has avocado oil in it. 

He had only one small bite and the dip only had a very tiny amount of avocado oil in it--it was an ingredient in an ingredient and...boy did I feel dumb. But we always knew this could happen and were prepared. He said his throat felt itchy (but I think it was just stress) but I gave him his medicine (Apis, Carb acid, Urtica all in a 10M) and he seems fine now. It's been an hour and we are watching him. 

I've also read that a lot of things that say they have avocado oil in it when tested do not actually have avocado oil in it and I've never prayed so hard in my life that this would be true for Primal Kitchen's Queso dip. Oh, what a crazy day!

I guess I can't have that dip anymore. Which is fine. And I'm glad Reuben is okay! 

My nerves are fried from forcing myself through school with whiny, underfed kids (because the muffins were a bust) and then maybe almost murdering my son. Ugh. And it's not even 2 o'clock! 

While all this was happening I got an email that our raw milk is going up $2 a gallon. I almost cried. Our budget has been so awful lately and we haven't been making it and everything is going up except my husband's salary. I know I should be grateful that I can offer this nutritious food to my children and I know it's a privilege but this will make it $21 a week for 1.5 gallons of milk. There is also a delivery fee of $2.50 a week. And everything is going up. It makes sense but I wonder how long we can keep making it and how many more of things that I consider "needs" we will have to cut out. We have cut out all our wants in the past three years...I know everyone is feeling this way...I want to offer so much to our family and do so many things and we didn't even get to go on vacation this year. The kids wanted to go to the beach and we told them we would try for next year. The beach is definitely a want and not a need. 

And so many little things like we didn't buy any ice cream for the past 2 weeks (the kids tried making some) as our budget ran out of grocery money and ice cream is a want and not a need.

But I am trying to remain happy that we have food and clothing and a home to come home to, great books and wonderful family time. It can always be worse! Everything is unnecessary when it comes down to it and even on our budget we still do things like karate and ballet which many would say would be wants but for us are needs. Due to my chronic illness I need the kids to be in some type of P.E. class that I don't have to manage. But I digress and probably sound entitled. It's just hard to have our circumstances change and not to be able to buy or do the things I feel like we should (and used too) afford! I'm having trouble coping, obviously. If it would just even out I think I'll be okay...

Alright, I'm done talking about money! And homeschooling! I'm going to eat chocolate and watch YouTube until free reading time--we are reading through Caddie Woodlawn again. It's the best book ever and all the kids love it. God has us all in the palms of his hands and I worry way too much about what I can't control.

September is the new July

I'm supposed to look forward to doing my devotions but sometimes it feels like a chore that I force myself to do. I've been reading through Psalms. Does anyone else feel like Psalms is super schizophrenic? Praising God in one verse and in the next the depths of despair. Uplifted on clouds of glory and two phrases later begging God for one sign. It's just like my life.

Obviously it's been a humbling read-through and much needed. I'm up to Psalm 46, which was a soothing balm to my motherhood burdened soul. God is my refuge and my strength and help in trouble! Just what I require in this stage of preteen strife and toddler woes. 

Yesterday it seemed like every time I finally sat down someone needed something. That's always how it works. Sit down for lunch? The toddler needs a cup of water or suddenly has to pee, or Becky forgot her fork or someone needs the ketchup from the fridge. Last night I was so worn out--woke up at 5, went to yoga, full day of cooking, cleaning, and took the kids to karate and ballet. I made myself a vegan, alpha gal free cheese toasty and had just sat down when Becky appeared, wet all over with the hair dryer and brush and a request for me to dry her hair and braid it for bed. Then she cried because I asked her to wait 15 minutes so I could eat my food before it got cold. But, when I went up to help her finish her hair 15 minutes later (already feeling guilty for telling her she had to wait) she was fine and we had a happy bedtime routine without strife. I however had some whiplash to deal with afterwards...I need to stop letting everyone's moods affect me!

one cool morning; I wore my handknit sweater!

Brian has been home all week working on the siding which is amazing. He's amazing, and I am so glad it is finally getting done. I mean, it's only been 5 years he's been trying to do it. The original siding is only falling off our house in rotten strips...I may have some resentment I need to work through this evening...

We haven't done school this week, besides piano and typing lessons. With daddy home we decided to take a break. I think my nervous system needed one... it has been a full summer of emergency after emergency and it's nice to just to play and support Brian as he hangs siding. I've been reading The Prime Minister and I think it's going to be my favorite Palliser novel. I'm hanging onto every delicious word! It's so well written and I love it. It really needs a modern adaptation...there is one from the 1980s and I haven't seen it but maybe I should give it a shot after I finish the series. I'd love to see Lady Eustace on screen in all her glittering narcissistic beauty.

It's been in the mid-80s and 90s this week which just feels weird for September but I know fall is coming and I am just trying to soak up these last weeks of summer. Although, I do wish we had air conditioning in our car. I finished Esther's and Reuben's fall crochet hats, and am working on Becky's. 

We tried to get our budget under control. Next pay period will show if we did a good job or not...

I have no idea what I am making for lunch or dinner but I am sure I will figure it out. It's been that kinda week. 

Even though Daddy is working 9-5 on our siding, we are still trying to do a few fun things as a family. Last night we went to our favorite ice cream joint and enjoyed frozen sugar rushes during the heat wave. It was great. Daddy has been reading through Genesis in the evenings too, it's been sweet family time.  And we are planning some park and library trips for later in the week. God is good, and I'm learning how to rest in the calm after the storm. 

August

I have had so many thoughts about so many things the last few weeks and no time or energy to write them down. So here is my attempt to order the disorder of my brain. 

For starters, I am loving our smaller room. If you missed the moving post, we gave the girls the big room and it's been an amazing change. It feels like the kids have so much more space and sharing is easier. My darling introvert is enjoying her space more even with the toddler and the atmosphere of our house just breathes differently. The same goes for our room, in what used to be the old girls bedroom--I love how cozy it is, everything feels much more organized and we've been finding ways to downsize even more which is my love language. The "big room" is about 400 square feet and the small room that we are in now is around 200. So it was a change, especially since the "big room" has its own bathroom.

It's September, and I'm still healing and dealing with everything that happened this summer. Over the break I worked full time for the first time in years--being a nanny/babysitter for a 10 year old girl named Charlotte. It was fun, I hope she had a great time. Reuben and Becky and Esther had an amazing time with her and have a greater appreciation for art, horses, and wolves just because of Charlotte. I'm feeling a lot of guilt though. I did not get to do half of what I planned for summer, and I mourn that. I spent a lot of the summer having a long extended miscarriage and grieving the loss of our 8th and very unexpected baby. I am glad that the kids, and Charlotte, did not notice. The kids told me they had an amazing summer and can Charlotte please come over again next year? And we also spent all that time at the pool... it was a wonderful summer in many ways. 

We have a consultation for the snippy-snip for hubby in November, which I strangely do not know how to feel about, even though I am the one who has asked him to do this. I think it's because I would love another baby. Actually I would love three more babies in my forties but my health and body do not feel strong enough to endure more losses. I am chronically ill, and instead of getting better after 10 years of researching and work, I am slowly getting worse. It is sad. And very hard to deal with, but true. So here I am ready physically to say goodbye to more babies but not emotionally ready. And yet I am not emotionally or physically ready to say hello to any more babies either. Alas, life is once again a conundrum. Good thing I have tea and sunsets.

Summer to me felt like one long struggle between the miscarriage and trying to give the kids some normalcy. I was so glad that summer was over when August hit and I thought I could put all that behind me and delve into homeschooling! And then we started school...and sadly, last Monday, our Pastor passed away suddenly. It was very unexpected news and our whole church is grieving. He was on a sabbatical for his health--he had cancer twice in the last 6 years--and was expected to return in two or three weeks to resume preaching, and now he is gone. Please pray for his wife and four grown children and of course their grandchildren. Sadness and misery reins in August too! 

And now September is here and fall is just around the corner, though of course that could be many weeks off. With Virginia weather, we still could have a month of 90f weather just like we are having this week. Today it was 94f or something crazy like that... But the pool is closed now, we are done with PEMF, and ballet and karate for the kids (and piano) are in full swing in our little homeschool household.

hanging out in the heat in the car before piano!

After over a full decade of being chronically ill I am feeling very burnt out and ready for some relief. I've been praying for healing, especially from alpha gal and hoping that I'll be able to enjoy beef and raw milk again soon. I've been praying for healing for my gut issues and severe sinus problems, for energy and good sleep--to wake feeling rested would be nice. I'm doing so many things that are supposed to help and nothing ever seems too. It's very disappointing. 

I'm reading the next book: The Prime Minister by Anthony Trollope. I like this one so much better than the last one...for some reason I couldn't get into that one at all. I'm knitting fall hats and dreaming of cooler weather. 

God is good, and I know he is working out everything to his glory.

Becky made a cake from scratch today and the kids said it was delicious! She used butter and flour, so I couldn't eat it but I was fine with that. It was a pretty cake and we had a little tea party lunch with sandwiches and fruit. 

I am hoping September holds rest, some cooler days, lots of reading with steaming cups of tea...but most of all for contentment in my own heart through the trials that I know are still yet to come.

Updates

Well, we had our first week of school last week and we survived! I got about 75% done, which is awesome for our first week. Charlotte is back in school and everyone misses her. It's time to buckle down and work hard and look forward to Thanksgiving and Christmas break! 

So many first and lasts! Becky had her first dance class, she loved it, her only complaint was her shoes pinched. Piano started up again for Becky too, and Reuben's starts this coming week..and I also ordered the rest of the kids fall wardrobes, so much planning and fun shopping! I decided this year to wrap up each outfit and have them open them when it gets cold, one outfit a week. I might be more excited then the kids! Some of the outfits they picked themselves and some I picked as surprises...

I did all my shopping at goodwill and a few other local thrift stores first but was only able to find things for Becky, even through multiple weeks. The toddler and boy section just had nothing... I got the rest from the Carter's website which has very reasonably priced kids clothes! I also got Reuben a shirt from another website with One-One on it. (Are you my mum?) He's going to be stoked, Infinity Train is his current favorite show. 

Each kid gets 3 new fall outfits, except for Becky (since we went to goodwill) has six... so I may need to improvise a few other ones for the other two kids so it's even. Hopefully we can find some stuff over the next few weeks from Goodwill! 

We had our last swim at the pool. It's open one more week but I am not sure we can fit it into our super packed schedule. I made sourdough pizza to bring with us!

I have been keeping a food diary for Becky to find out her stomach issues--she has an allergy to chocolate and also to capsaicin (bell peppers) and to eggs. I'm hoping by omitting these ingredients her life will improve! She can't have paprika or any capsaicin products like chili powder...it's going to be an interesting transition. But if it helps her it will be so worth it. She gets stomach pain all the time and I have been having the worst time figuring it out. 

I still am gluten free and have alpha gal. Reuben is allergic to beans, avocados, bell peppers (but he can have them if cooked) bananas, kiwi and blueberries. We are a crazy household.  

I'm trying to make it to the gym and work on my chronic illness, figure out how to feed us all and homeschool everyone with a toddler in tow. No wonder I'm tired! 

I started on a new probiotic that will hopefully help me! I hope it does.

My miscarriage finally seems to be done and over with. God is good and I am so thankful...it's terrifying to be bleeding out of a part of your body you can't slap a band-aid on...and to feel helpless and unsure of what to do. I hope I never have to go through another miscarriage again for the rest of my life. I turn 40 this January so my menstruating days are officially numbered. 

I'm going to go reset the living room for school tomorrow. See you all later!

The Last Week

My mental health has been on a steadily downward trend this week. I mean, it's just life. But I know I've been struggling more than usual. And I want to give my kids the best parts of me, not the leftover bits! God is so good and I feel like a piece of mud an elephant stepped on. Which is not true, I am a beautiful creation of the Lord who deserves love, rest, and peace. 

We enjoyed our last week of vacation even with mommy's mental health issues. We went to the park--Esther got a splinter but I got it out when we got home. And I enjoyed a play date with my friend Mya and her little girl who is Esther's best friend. Her name is Thea and she's two! They are two peas in a pod.

I think my current issues are...recovering from my miscarriage. Not spending enough time outside or in my Bible. Being addicted to my phone and not having good boundaries with media. Not taking care of myself and instead living in an anxious stressed place where I just repeatedly clean my house and cry. 

In short, I need a break. I need a break from media and a few weeks without the internet. That, and going outside and sticking my toes in the dirt and reading my Bible will help. I need nourishment, not only of food (I want to make my delicious cabbage soup) but of the mind.

I've taken breaks before and they have been awesome! I'm going to take one now and I'll be back eventually, but I don't know how long I will need. I know this is the right choice! This summer was so hard and some detox from the internet should renew me. 

The kids made little clay creations this week and I did not take the best pictures. They were happy and their clay creatures were so cute! I need better camera skills.

One amazing thing that happen this week is I feel like we finally got Becky and Esther's new room organized in a way that makes sense. I love it and they are loving it too! Each of them has a desk, and each of them have little play areas and they each have their own closet. It's perfect and giving them the biggest room in the house has been a dream. I even love having the small room. It feels less chaotic and I love being close to Reuben. 

Becky's desk is under a window and since there are two windows in this room, Esther's little desk (which used to belong to Brian) is under the other.

Their room is so sweet and they are enjoying the space. I am hopeful Esther will spend an hour or two up here on her own during homeschooling. I've created a playlist for her that includes both Baby Shark and Jesus Loves Me. What more could she want? 

There are two more weeks until Charlotte starts school. She is still here 10 hours a day and we have really grown to love her. Esther asked today where she was. It's Saturday, silly, she's with her dad, and we will see her Monday. 

God is good and I'll make it through tomorrow--church always wears me out.

Here is to a few weeks of focusing on lifting my eyes to what really matters and maybe eating a lot of soup. 

I made a hat.

I haven't made anything in a long time, and it felt so good to be crocheting again. I started on the fall hats for the kiddos and decided this time to make myself one first. I don't have a green hat so...now I do! And I'm sure the kids will steal it a ton too. I made this pattern myself which means it was fun, has lots of mistakes, and I enjoyed not having to look at a printout or follow rows--except the ones that were in my head.

After taking these pictures I have decided that it would look better without a pompom. 

Oh, it made me so happy to create something! 

Summer Break Week 11

Next week is our last week of summer break and it feels surreal. Where did it all go? It seemed we started with potty training and then....Oh, I had a surprise pregnancy that ended in a surprise miscarriage that went on for over a month. That's where it went. I honestly thought about delaying school but I know the kids will want a full summer break next spring so, no delays are allowed! And we are all itching to get back into the swing of things. 

Everything we need to start school has been ordered and purchased, except for some play-dough for Esther which I may just skip, and the kids new math books. But they have a few weeks with their old math to finish up so I will wait on ordering those. 

Charlotte will be with us for the first two weeks of our school and the kids are super excited about that. Since I work one-on-one (after morning time) with each kid they will have someone to play with! 

We made these super cute felt wallets this week! What a fun craft.

The craziest thing that happened this week is Reuben fell while playing and on a rock no less and scratched the back of his head all up! It looked scarier then it was and he's okay...but boy did he frighten his mama! Also, heads are hard to put band-aids on. Who knew? He was pretty scared too when it happened but he's such a nice gentle boy, he was fine after resting.  But sadly he hasn't been able to swim all week due to his injury.

We were at a friends house and 45 minutes from home so after calming him down and stopping the bleeding I threw everyone in the car and drove all the way home. Thank goodness for rescue remedy, arnica and aconite! 

Here is to the last week of summer break, which starts...tomorrow. School, here we come!

Homeschooling Brain Dump: Becky

Becky is starting third grade this August. She loves crafts. Her least favorite subject is math. She will be doing felt creations for her hobby! 

I also have Becky taking over her breakfasts during most of the school week. Her favorite thing to make is sausage and eggs or eggy toast. She also loves yogurt and plain toast with butter.

I have gone back and forth about modifying Year 3 for Becky since she is doing 3-4 hours a week of the Barton Reading Program on top of all that is scheduled for Ambleside. I know Barton takes so much of her mental energy I don't want to overwhelm or unnecessarily burden her but I am not sure what to cut out. Every book is so amazing and good and I get excited about reading it and I don't want to regulate it to a free read or put it back on the shelf. I am thinking of cutting as we go--if a week is too overwhelming I'll simply add the readings to next week or take more time. We will see where we end up in January and I'll reassess if we need more weeks for Year 3, I'm fine with adding in another month or two of school if needed. 

My goal for Becky is to have her reading at the end of Year 3. That is her goal too--she loves reading and writing even though she struggles with it, she really wants to read and write stories. She tries to write everything and she asks me how to spell it! Other than reading I just hope we have a good time and I can get everyone fed and arrive on time. Becky will also be doing ballet this term for her extracurricular as well as piano. We will be busy busy! 

Becky is amazing at narrating. She's a natural narrator and she also loves to be read to. I'll be reading her all of Year 3, and I'm excited to revisit the books. I got some good maps for Marco Polo this year and I also ordered a book of Leonardo's pictures--with Reuben I would Google them but now we have the book to flip through. 

Becky is an introvert so finding time throughout the day to give her space and let her nest in her room is a must. She thrives when she has quiet to contemplate and alone time is a much needed respite for her solitary soul. She also loves crafts and keeping her supplied with felt, glue, stickers, yarn, tape and scissors is her love language. 

Becky, I hope you have a great year 3 and I can't wait to see you grow a little bit more this fall. 

Homeschooling Brain Dump: Reuben

Alright I don't even know where to start...

Reuben just turned 11. He's on week 21 of Year 5 of Ambleside Online. We school him January to January, so he will start year 6 sometime in the next 3 months. He is brilliant in math. He really struggles with writing and spelling. He started the Barton reading program last year and started in box three to help with spelling. He's currently in box four. He's amazing at memorizing and he loves science and facts.

Here is his writing (it's a dictation) at the beginning of Year 5. I make him write three words he spelled wrong 3x each so the first line of writing below his dictation is my handwriting.

This is after Barton reading program box 4 and also 3 months of Equipping Minds: 

He still needs help with writing and spelling. He's doing so well with reading, math and memorization. He's amazing! 

Going back into homeschooling: I plan to finish out Term 2 of Year 5--we cut out Plutarch and Shakespeare due to all the Barton work. I want to add back in Plutarch and Shakespeare when we start Term 3 of Year 5. I want to finish Year 5 in November, but that will only happen if there are minimal sick days. 

Ambleside Online is going well. I read all of Year 4 to him--in the last term of Year 4 I started having him do his Bible reading on his own, once a week. In Year 5 we have worked up to him doing one reading on his own per day--usually Bible, but he has read Lewis and Clark (Of Courage Undaunted) and Abraham Lincolns World on his own, as well as a few others. I want to get him doing two readings a day by himself and that would leave me reading him 3 scheduled readings (We usually try to do 5 a day) by the time he starts Year 6.

I also want to add in map drills. We did a few of these and have not started back up in quite awhile. We do look at maps and I pull them out at least once a day, but I have not done dedicated map drills in many months. 

Reuben will be doing karate for his exercise and hopefully getting plenty of play by being outside, running, jumping on the trampoline and playing with his sisters. We struggle with getting enough outside time between my chronic issues and our busy lives.

I can't believe that he's almost halfway through all his school.

I set up this second cooking area in our home so the kids can use butter and dairy (which I am currently allergic too, thanks Alpha Gal) and they have been making their own breakfasts this week. I hope to continue having them making breakfast Monday-Thursday and that will let me focus on school prep in the morning. 

Reuben is doing origami for his handicraft next term!