Saturday, August 31, 2013

Music Update

So, I thank you all for the music suggestions you gave me in my post last month. Some of them I didn't like, but that's okay. Many of them I flat out loved. I've been checking out 1-2 bands a week (because more is just music overload).
(source)
I guess I'm one of those people like really likes listening to the same thing over and over again. Switching it up confuses me and "turns me off" to listening to music. Not sure if that makes sense. I've been buying those I love on iTunes. So far I've bought the new Civil Wars CD (its great, but they are playing it e-v-e-r-y-w-h-e-r-e I go, from the bookstore to the coffee shops, so frankly I'm a little tired of it. I also bought Sucre--LOVE them, thanks Emorie.

Next month I am going to buy Currents, Eisley's newest CD, and something by Explosions in the Sky, and everything by Kate Rusby. I wish I could buy them now, but that's why we have a budget. :P

So what didn't I like? A few people said First Aid Kit, but I didn't really like them. Can't really say why. I also did not like Death Cab for a Cutie. But music is wide as a rainbow and as different as snowflakes, so I'm not that worried. I'm just really happy to have new stuff to listen to that I adore.

Thanks guys!

Friday, August 30, 2013

Last Weekend, THIS happened!

So, like most earthlings, I have a bucket list. No, I haven't posed it online.  Mostly its boring and full of goals like "be more organized" and "sew more things." But last weekend I got to experience one of the more specific goals on my list.

behold the noms

Yes, please
Now, before you go "wha?" and screw your face up like I'm crazy, let me explain. To a strictly organic hippie and sometimes-vegetarian like myself, Trader Joe's is like a 24-hour Apple boutique that also sells chic matching iPhone covers to a Hipster who just found $1000 lying in an open gutter. Or Trader Joe's can be likened to a bookstore to someone who was read only half of the first "Game of Thrones" and suddenly has access to purchase the ending. Or a glass of cool, refreshing water to a desert traveler...or a lifeboat to a drowning....okay, you get the idea. 

It was everything Sabrina and others have told me it was! Sadly I couldn't buy any cold products, but I did purchase some naan and other dried goods!

Classy in the Produce Section
In short, I loved it. Trader Joes, why are you not in my town? Why, why, I ask? I love your brightly colored organic soups and amazingly yummy naan bread...please, please, I beg of you.... build here. I promise not to shop anywhere else. Well, except the farmers market. And Krogers. Because, I love my Krogers.

I was able to visit this amazing store because I was two hours away from my home, participating in a very lovely wedding with my best friend. Who has now been married for almost a week. Ahh, the honeymoon phase.

This was my first visit to Trader Joe's. It shall not be my last, unless fate decides to tragically part us.

*If you know me in real life, please go to the Trader Joe's website and request one to be built here. Please. I mean, it only takes like 5 minutes.  Whats holding you back?

Wednesday, August 28, 2013

Do you like to Read?

So, I will admit to being a bit of a book snob. I have six shelves worth of slim, attractive volumes, all ordered neatly by author and category. Only, now I have three shelves. And I'm drowning in books.

I really need to get rid of some! If you like fantasy/science fiction, and would like me to send you a box of books, let me know! Because I will be more then glad to part with some of mine!

No, you don't have to follow me. Or send me anything. Or even tweet this (but you can if you want to).

Here are some of the books I have. All books are in used condition, with no writing or highlighting. Very readable and no tears. If you want any of these, leave me a comment with those you would like and then e-mail me your address. My e-mail is moonofsilver@gmail.com. I'll cross through the books as people take them.


Books 
  • Green Rider and the sequel First Riders Call by Kristen Britain
  • Shades Children by Garth Nix
  • The Goddess of Yesterday by Caroline B. Cooney 
  • Guenevere Queen of Summer Country by Rosalind Miles 
  • The Merlin Effect by T. A. Barron
  • The Seer and the Sword by Victoria Hanley 
  • Deep Wizardry by Diane Duane 
  • Beauty by Sheri S Tepper 
  • M'Lady Witch by Christopher Stasheff
  • The End of Summer by Rosamunde Pilcher
  • Green Angel by Alice Hoffman
  • Childhoods End by Arther C. Clarke 
  • After the Rain by Norma Fox Mazer
  • Ashes to Fire (a Lent Devotional) 
  • The People of the Sparks by Jeanne Duprau
  • The Telling Pool by David Davies 
  • Imaginary Girls by Nova Ren Suma
  • Life as we Knew It by Susan Pfeffer
  • The Singer from the Sea by Sheri S. Tepper 
  • Bounty Hunter's Daughter by Phyllis de la Garza
  • Dante's Inferno 
  • A Room with a View by E. M. Forester 
  • Sheet Music by Kevin Leman
  • Ianhoe by Walter Scott
  • Downbelow Station by C. J Cherryh
  • Voyage of the Mourning Dawn by Rich Wulf
  • Fair Peril by Nancy Springer 
  • Auralia's Colors and and sequel, Cyndere's Midnight by Jeffrey Overstreet
  • Peter and the Starcatchers by Dave Berry and Ridley Pearson
  • Cyteen the Betrayal by C. J Cherrryh 
  • A Song for Arbonne by Guy Kay
Even if I already sent you books, if you want more, by all means let me know!

August Cara Box

This month's Cara Box was seasons of life! I had a ton of fun putting together a box for Sarah. I really hoped she liked it! And, I received a box from Kendra.
Kendra sent me this really cool cup that has my name and a sewing machine on it, and these awesome hair ties! Thank you Kendra! :)

Cara Box

Tuesday, August 27, 2013

My Biggest Fear

Are you ever afraid of something?

I'm extremely scared of needles. I hate shots. I hate having my blood drawn. I am so scared of needles that I'd really rather just stay home and suffer then go to the doctor where they might decide to poke me.
(source)
I know, its almost statistically impossible to die from having your blood taken, but for some reason I become convinced every time that the nurse is going to accidentally kill me. And yes, I do feel a bit silly afterwards--no matter how real it feels at the time. My logical brain chanting-- its not going to kill you--is always trumped by the  feeling that I'm about to die a terrible and very theatrical death.

Do you have any unreasonable fears? Or is it just me? I'm also afraid of eyes. No really. I hate it when people touch their eyes or take their contacts out. Eww.

Anyway, that brings me to a story. The story of the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me.

So, I had to get blood work done. I knew I had to get it done, but I hadn't made the appointment yet. I cried in the shower thinking about making the appointment. I cried after the shower, hoping God would intervene and I wouldn't have to make the appointment. I called my husband and told him I was about to make the appointment. His encouraging texts made me smile through my tears.

My plan was to make the appointment some time tomorrow or the next day (it had to be within 48 hours) when my husband was on lunch so that he could be there. My best friend Larkin was supposed to come over today and we were going to tie dye. It was 10am. I dried my tears and called.

Nurse: Oh, that's easy. Just come by in the next 30 minutes and we'll take care of it.
Me: You mean right now? 
Nurse: Are you busy?
Me: ....no.
Nurse: Okay, see you in 30. Click
Me: OMG!

It was two hours till my husbands lunch. He was in meetings. He couldn't come. My mom lives an hour away and was at work. My sister has two kids. I was going to have to go alone.

Words cannot describe he sheer amount of panic I was feeling at that moment.

Wait--I thought, I'll call my friend! Frantically I called her. I was still crying. I really wasn't kidding when I said having blood work done was my first and greatest fear. She didn't pick up. She keeps different hours then me, usually staying up until 1 or 2 when I go to bed at 10. I called again. And again.

Finally I called her roommate. I bought my wedding cake from her, so I still had her number. She picked up! She seemed kinda confused as to why I wanted her to wake up Larkin, but she did. Yay. And Larkin wasn't mad at me! Double yay. She said she would come. The clouds lifted. I might survive.
Besties
So I picked her up and she talked to me and held my hand while the doctor took my blood and, basically saved me from a terrible and painful death by syringe. Haha. I really would have totally freaked without her.

Whats your biggest fear?

Monday, August 26, 2013

10 Things You Should Know About Marriage

One of my best friends got married this past Saturday. So, Larkin, this post is for you. And yes, even if I've only been married a year, I've still got things to share!

10 Things You Should Know About Marriage
  • There will be a point in time when you will look at your spouse and realize you have to take care of them for the rest of your life. You will wake up next to this person (usually) every day, and go to bed with them every night. Suddenly, you must be responsible and remember to feed them, so they don't eat an entire bag of chips for dinner while you are busy writing a novel. You have to pick up their dirty socks. You have to clean their toilet. Sometimes this revelation might cause you to panic. Don't worry! This is a normal occurrence. You picked this person to spend the rest of your life with, remember? Dwell on God's wonderful blessings, instead of on the toilet paper they forgot to refill yesterday. Spend time recalling the days when you would have given anything to be with them, to pass an evening in their presence. They are still that same person. Just now they suddenly think its okay to pass gas right next to you.
  • You will run out of furniture to have sex on.
  • Marriage is like going on a diet. No, really. When you first go on a diet, you think: oh, soon I'll "arrive" to "thin". But then you realize that no, diet and exercise is a lifestyle. You don't ever truly arrive--and just like you have to plan your meals or schedule in a hour for yoga, you have to daily make time for intimacy and companionship with your spouse. Get-thin-quick scams are just like Disney Princess movies--there is no one-time deal to happily ever after. So drop the diet pills along with your surface-level attention and dig deep. Know that marriage is work--not necessarily hard work, but the kind that requires a lot of determination and focus. 
and kissing skills
  • It is never to late to live your teenage dreams! Go lay outside on a blanket and watch the stars. Sit on the ground and watch a movie with dinner. Pick up cheap takeout and eat it at the park. Go "window shopping." Make out at a drive-in theater. Just drive and listen to music! The world is still yours for the taking.
  • One day your spouse will say in public something you told him privately. Sometimes this will be hilarious but most often it will be embarrassing. And awkward. Especially if he says something about one friend to another friend, thinking it public knowledge.
  • Your spouse is not your child. As much as you may think that he may be better off not drinking that coke, or eating three brownies for desert, he is his own person. Respect that.
  • Remember love is a choice.
  • Don't wait for your spouse to do something special for you. Do something special for him! Give him a card. A back rub. Spend time with him. Kiss him. Tell him he is handsome. Make a candlelit dinner. Pay a bill you don't normally pay. Buy him new underwear if his are falling apart. Pray for him. Affirm him. 
  • Some stereotypes are true. He will never own enough power tools. You will never own enough dresses.  
  • Lastly: you will have so many inside jokes. Did you leave your fish running? 
Any other thoughts to add?  

Friday, August 23, 2013

Rainbow Circle Scarf


I finally finished my circle scarf! I knitted this with one skein of Malabrigo yarn--so beautiful. I plan on wearing this a lot. It's really soft and can be looped 1-3 times around your neck, depending on how cold it is.

All I did was cast on 10 stitches, and knit the right side, and purl the wrong. As I went along, the fabric rolled up (as all knits do) to make a nice and cozy and thick loop to warm my neck this winter with rainbow glory.

I'll be sure to have a picture of me actually wearing it, as soon as the leaves start to fall.

Thursday, August 22, 2013

Dress Refashion

I found this black dress at Goodwill, and decided it would be perfect for a remake! I wanted something dark to wear my new galaxy leggings with.



And, yes, the first thing I did was remove those terrible white buttons. Then I added a high-low hem, with a line of lace on the bottom (you can't really see it) and I also added some lace to the top. Somehow when altering this, I made the bust really small. I had to squeeze into it. 

I am sure you will see this dress make an appearance in a more photogenic setting one day, but for now this is all you get. My husbands computer area and me. Hah. 

The finished dress reminds me of something out of the 20s, kinda flapper style? I really like it and can't wait to wear it out somewhere!

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

Peachy

A few weeks ago I went to the park to take some pictures for the sole purpose of redoing my blog. I also got completely caught in the rain! It was fun. And wet. My camera got a little moist and I was worried, but it was fine. And, I was in such a hurry to get it in the car I didn't get any pictures of drenched Carolynn, only of sunshine Carolynn. Hah.

I am wearing a dress from Ross, Dress for Less, and a handmade "pineapple" crochet shawl, made by my friend Paula from back in my college days. (Where have you gone to, Paula? I can't find you on facebook anymore)

Anyway, I finished my circle rainbow scarf for winter/fall, and started on reconstructing this little black dress for the blog--and am eagerly awaiting the marriage of my best friend this weekend!


I shot these pictures in manual also. Manual, I've found, is annoying because I tend to move around when doing self-photography, and that makes pictures a bit blurry.


Anyway, other then getting ready for my friends wedding and the beautiful fall weather, I have been reading Crazy Love by Francis Chan and trying to pray daily. I don't want to be a lukewarm Christian---I want to be sold out to Christ. But so often I run away from him, because its hard and I'm lazy and afraid. I need to learn the value of hard work, of pursuing God with all my heart every day, instead of just ignoring him and thinking I'll do it tomorrow. Its frustrating. By Christ alone, I will get there. If I let myself get in the way, I won't. I always appreciate prayers--for God to be my center, that I will trust in Him alone, and be a good steward of all he has given me. 


Tuesday, August 20, 2013

Around My Home

Today is a relax day. I have a knitting project with my name on it, as well as a dress refashion to finish! With that in mind, I'd thought I'd share some pictures of my house today. It is always changing. My new favorite addition? This lovely Panda rug from ModCloth!


It's the perfect bit of cuteness for my kitchen, and it is nice having something cushy to stand on when I'm doing dishes. Yesterday, I ordered my first dress from ModCloth--they were having a 70% off sale and I couldn't resist snagging one for that price! I'm sure you guys will see it soon!
My husband bought me beautiful flowers!!
A knitting cast on for a very loopy rainbow scarf I am making! I plan on wearing this all the time this fall. Its going to be a circle scarf, one that you can twist around your neck multiple times.
Last week, my mom brought over all the books I own that I left at her house when I married. I really need to invest in a new bookshelf. For right now, I am picking through the books--some to thrift, some to mail to friends, and a large portion that I just can't part with right now.
Have a great day, dear world of the internet, and I'll see you tomorrow!

Monday, August 19, 2013

The Ability to Reproduce

Recently I've been reading a lot about pregnancy. Many of my online friends are getting ready to welcome their little ones into the world, and their blogs are full of hopes and dreams and tips on how to stay thin and loose postpartum weight while juggling their dimpled newborn. And I'm happy for them. So happy it hurts sometimes, because I'm a little jealous too.

You see, I really want to have a baby. I've wanted Brian's baby ever since I spied him across the coffee shop, where we met for the first time. Odd feeling. I thought, because until that moment I'd never wanted babies. Even in previous relationships, I really wasn't interested in procreating. Ever. 

But after marriage, I felt for the first time financially and emotionally ready to start a family. I couldn't wait for those two little lines!
Our Wedding Day

I thought it was easy. Get married. Have unprotected sex. Boom. Baby. At least, that's what they always tell you in high school. It just takes one time, girl, one time.

It doesn't help that every woman in my family has achieved pregnancy with a drop of the hat. I've been thinking about dropping hats for months and still, nothing.

I'll be honest, I used to look at people who were dealing with infertility or complications with pregnancy with mild sadness and a large helping of relief. Oh-I'm-so glad-that-will-never-happen-to-me. But, it is happening. Because it has almost been a year, and I'm not pregnant yet.

The past 8 months or so, I've struggled with questions like

Why do I feel so ashamed?  
Is there something wrong with me?
Why isn't this working?
Maybe this month I'll be pregnant?

I even have the names picked out. For a girl, Larkin Elizabeth. For a boy, Sage Alan.

To make it even more complicated, last night I saw this on Pinterest: “You haven’t really lived until you’ve tucked your kids in.” What? I thought, to myself, Maybe I'll never know what that joy feels like.

It’s hard to ignore the fact that there’s a whole segment of the online population categorized as “mommy bloggers," and not feel like I'm missing out on something. And, as a young married women, it's beyond annoying when people ask me when I'm going to have kids. What do I say? We are trying, but nothing is happening? We want kids? Maybe later? Mind your own business?


To be honest, I'm a bit angry over all these expectations and feelings. Because not every family has to have children in order to be complete. Contrary to that pin, you can live a full and abundant life without ever tucking anything into a bed. On the other hand, I need to realize that everyone with a kid is not pointing the proverbial finger at me. It's just a fact of life that some people can have kids and some people can not. No one is judging anyone, and nor should we.

If you are struggling with infertility, I have some things to say to you. First of all, its not the end of the world. When I started researching infertility, I found a ton of blogs where women talk about themselves as if the entire world is over because they cannot grow a child in their uterus. They say things like "I've failed as a women," and "My life will never be complete." Yes, I understand that when you want to have a baby, the inability to produce one is sad. But it is not the end of the world. You shouldn't feel bad or ashamed about something you have no control over. You are still a complete person. While their might be something biologically wrong with you, there is nothing wrong with YOU.

The fact that you can't have kids should NEVER stop you from living life to your fullest! Do you hear me? Go out and dream other dreams! Live other lives! Don't obsesses that you might never have a biological child. IT'S OKAY! Really. And don't let this tear apart the relationship between you and your husband.

One of the things I've learned is to never make sex completely and totally about having a baby. Sure, its okay to plan and its okay to have sex in order to have a baby--what I'm saying is, don't lose the romance. Don't lose the spontaneity, the fun, the passion! The most annoying thing I think I can hear is "well, I guess we should have sex, since you might be ovulating"--or, "I hope this time I/you can get pregnant", or (after another month of Aunt Flo) "all that sex was for nothing!" Sex with the love of your life is never for nothing, and it should never be just a tool used for having a baby. Don't bring expectations into your sex life--keep that intimacy free of worry and fear so that you still have a place to totally open and at peace with each other.

we so silly!
I realize that a year of infertility and a few miscarriages are nothing compared to many other heartbreaking stories I've heard. I have not been to the doctor yet about my struggle, but I do plan on going. I want to try to have a family, and I'm determined to rejoice, no matter what the outcome. So what, I can't have kids? I will focus on the fact that I am still alive, breathing, creating and knitting and living.

Sometimes I think that perhaps I am destined for a different fortune--a different kind of life then the normal "have 2.5 kids work, retire, and die". I am determined to be excited no matter what happens. Having kids isn't the only way to live. This life, these dreams I have--this is my adventure, and I won't squander it just because I happen to have a few unfulfilled expectations along the way. Instead, I will change my focus, blaze a new field, and keep learning, dreaming, and trying to be who God made me to be. Because, as a christian women, I'm going to trust God completely with my life, kids or no kids.

I'm not going to spend my years thinking I've failed. I'm going to live with no regrets. Will you?

To read all my posts about infertility, click here! 

Thursday, August 15, 2013

Shooting in Manual Mode

Lately I have been trying to shoot in manual mode on my camera. I won't lie, it's difficult to get the lighting, focus, and aperture right for my pictures. But this is an necessary step if I want to grow as a photographer. By shooting in manual, I can eventually learn to take pictures in the sunlight.


Oh, and don't worry, guys! I have not given up on my book (yet). At don't plan to. Thank you for all your sweet comments on my funny (but oh, true) story yesterday. I never knew I would learn so much about myself...or that it would be so difficult to accomplish this goal. More on that later. Just know, right now, I kinda...feel sorry for my husband (I love you babe). Uh, I can be a mess when things aren't working out my way. I think sometimes we all need to be reminded we aren't the center of the world. And that some things aren't the end of the world. Even if it feels like they are. Oh, and that hard, difficult things are worth striving for.


On that note, I am redoing the blog, today! Just for fun. Hope you like it!


As I change, so does this space. Thank you for coming along for the ride! Also, did you guys know about this giveaway for a 250$ etsy gift card? I entered--its through the Etsy facebook page and totally legit!

Tuesday, August 13, 2013

What Writing a Book is Like

Cue idea. Cue idea getting stuck in your head. Very, very, stuck in your head. In fact, you can't stop thinking about it. You've talked over the idea with your husband so many times that when you open your mouth, he starts talking about how great your idea is, just to make you shut up.

Decide to Google idea. Picture of Twilight appears. Drat. Already taken.

Cue another idea. A better idea. Realize you might have the next multimillion dollar book idea resting between your ears at this moment.

Allow yourself several minutes of self-congratulation. Envision movie, made of said idea. Movie does not include Kristian Stewart.

Continue to chew on idea. Stew with idea. Several months pass, and then one day husband mentions The Idea. Is it done? Can he read it? Should he pick up a bottle of wine tonight to celebrate The Idea? Warning lights go off in your head. What, doesn't he know these things take time? You can't rush a masterpiece!

Create a diversion. Wait, is that bacon in the fridge? Why, yes it is! Let me get you some.

But one day, hiding from the idea is just to much. It is time to write! Now or Never! The late bird gets the...oh, wait, never mind.
My hand is clearly about to fall off.
Decide to make an outline. By using the internet. Wait, what were you doing?

Obviously, the idea included googleing funny pictures of cats. And instagraming a picture of your toes. Feel affirmed when "madebychipmunk" favorites your photo. It must be great to be you.

Wait, is it lunch time yet?

But, the whole world is waiting for your idea! You really need to get writing. But it can wait until after lunch, right? Boy, the idea sure makes you hungry.

Remember why you are writing the idea. Because its in your blood! And, you are going to make money! Over lunch, envision your amazing life. Your husband will be able to retire early, and you'll buy a beach house and write from the Bahamas, while sipping margaritas!! Tell this to husband. Husband quotes Office Space. No salt for the margarita, but it had salt on it, big grains of salt, floating in the glass... Facepalm your husband.


Feel slightly better.

Wake up one morning to 11,536 words. Wow, that's quite an achievement. Make obligatory Facebook post about how far along you are. No one cares.

Two weeks pass.

Does the soft glow of your Macbook count as sunlight? Realize you don't remember the sun. Open a window. 

Decide to read husband The Idea. He thinks your names are weird. Have a marital blow out over the names of your fictional characters.

Decide to change names.

Declare today an no-writing day. You are going to shower. And shave. Twice. Maybe run to the super market. You know, for Oreos. And chips. Why don't your pants fit?

Now comes the time...the time to proof read what you've written. I mean, its not done. But you should get started early, right?

Hey, that's pretty good. Oh, but you really spelled that wrong. And is that the right tense? What is a tense? How are you supposed to keep track of things like tenses when writing? They can't expect you to do that, can they?

Realize your sentences are garbled strangers. Aliens from another planet must have invaded your idea and switched them around. Change them. Oh, but then it doesn't flow right with the next one! Change that too. Fudge, this whole paragraph is awful! How come you didn't see that before? Ok, just skip it. Breathe. It's okay. After all, you have 11,536 words. What could go wrong now?

But, wait, this one is awful too! And, why is your character so annoying? Why would she do that anyway? That's just dumb. Cross it out. Clearly she wouldn't do that. That could never happen. And why is she so different over here? Did she have a complete personality meltdown? What? Oh, this is terrible. Realize no one is going to read your book, because it sucks. It. Really. Sucks.

Contemplate the quality of your life. Your existence has no meaning. Cry.

Later, file idea away, under heading "worst idea ever." Eat entire container of ice cream.

Repeat from beginning.

And that, my dears, is what writing a book is like.

Monday, August 12, 2013

Knitted Purse

I made this geometric purse with 100% wool yarn. I really like the bold colors and my fun button.
It's lined with a little piece of jersey knit fabric that I sewed up and inserted into the pouch. I didn't sew it in or anything, I just placed it inside. Works perfectly!
My favorite part is the back. I tried a colorful, two-tone tribal pattern for the back! For those of you who don't knit, this means I knitted with two yarns--held two in my hand, one working yarn and on free yarn, and then switched them to alternate the colors. It wasn't as hard as I thought it would be--getting the tension right is a little difficult at first, but it was very easy and I'm  going to try it again on a bigger project.
I hope to perfect these and sale them in my shop!

Saturday, August 10, 2013

Update?

I've been reading a lot lately! And writing. I'm really going to publish a book. Yesterday I had a very vivid dream and now have ideas for two more books! My novel is about 10 pages now. So many pages to go. I have to have at least 50 thousand words. Fifty. Thousand. Alas, since I don't have word, all I can go off of is my Notepad--and it looks like I probably have maybe 500 words so far.


Anyway, how is everyone doing? I'm really excited about fall; its just around the corner and happens to be my favorite season. Said everybody, always. I love the crunchy leaves and earth-tone colors, they always pair well with my hippie clothes and I  think I could live in skinny jeans if it was socially acceptable.


Oh, these pictures are dedicated and inspired by Oh Whimsical Me, because she always poses with a book or a coffee cup. Go say hi to her. You won't regret it. (And you'll probably leave hungry for vegan food)

In other news I'm going to update my webpage this week. I usually do a new design every 3-4 months and I can't wait to see what happens! Eeek! 

Friday, August 9, 2013

Don't Give Up

Don't give up. I know you just started exercising, and nothing seems to be happening. Every day you look at yourself in the mirror and think, why am I even doing this. I'll never be skinny. Don't give up. Don't compare. Your body is beautiful. Tone it and let it reach its full potential. Know that you will never be someone other then yourself. And that's okay.

Maybe skinny shouldn't be your goal. My goal is fun. I have fun jumping around in Zumba and making an utter fool out of myself. I have fun glorifying God as I swim laps. I try to work out because it should be a lifestyle, not a means to an end.

I never weigh myself. I don't care. It's not about reaching a "perfect goal". I'll never be perfect. One of my breasts will always be bigger then the other. My nose will always be slightly crooked. I have stretch marks and pimples and spider veins and hardly any chin. But I'm me.

It's not about you. Being healthy is about glorifying God. I'm a christian. I don't want to go to waste, or to give in to gluttony or greed. I want to live an active lifestyle because an active lifestyle is good for God. If you aren't religious, it still shouldn't be about you. Put the focus outward--take the stress off yourself, take the criticism elsewhere.

Are you living the lie that skinny is worth starving for? Don't live that lie--or even the lie that real women have curves. Real women can be a size 2 or a size 22. They are round and tall and rectangle and small and pear shaped and apple shaped and funny and smart and... It's not how you look. It's who you are. Really.

I just started the 30 day shred about a month ago. I know, it says 30 days, but I'm doing an every-other day, or every-two day, because, honestly, I haven't exercised in awhile. It's hard. I want to give up sometimes. I can't see any difference yet. But you know what, I'm going to keep going.

Thursday, August 8, 2013

Tie Dye and a Bust Fix

I haven't dyed anything in almost a month! I'm not buying Rit dye anymore, but last week I found three bottles on my shelf and decided to give it another go just to deplete my stock. (I now use Dharma Trading Dye, and I'll do a post about that soon)
Anyway, I found this super cute stonewashed denim dress from Target, on clearance for $8. It was a size 14, and definitely too big in the bust, but I knew I could take it in. The ultra light-blue color didn't really compliment my skin at all, and I really didn't like how you could barely see the cute embroidered design! So, I got out my last bottle of burgundy red RIT dye and dyed it.

Well, the color stuck all right, and it's beautiful; but it turned out purple. I am convinced that the makers of RIT dye must be really lax in either their labeling or they must not be watching their dye concoction at all. Maybe they'll just like, this one looks red, right? Perhaps its a huge running joke among the employees that people buy their dye that really is only one color with different labels all over it. My blue always turns purple too, and earlier when I googled this it seems lots of people have that problem. Either way, I'm still happy. I like purple, and I went in with no expectations.
The bust is still to big--it was really hard to get a picture showing you how the bust is falling off me, with out revealing myself all over the internet. The extra fabric that I'm pulling to the right just makes the top hang if I let go.And yes, in that picture I am wearing the dress fully zipped up, and still the the top is about four inches too big. Now, usually I'd just take in the sides--but this dress has a side zipper, so I can't do that.
What I did is add two strips of black elastic on the back, to pull it tight. It's still a tiny bit big on top, but nowhere near as loose as before.
Anyway, I love my new dress! The white design part didn't dye, of course, because they used polyester thread, so it shows up really well. I love it! And I can't wait to wear this to church on Sunday!
Have you ever dyed anything? Let me know, and give me some pointers! 

Wednesday, August 7, 2013

she said my webpage was ugly

I love color. Its fun. Its bright, and cheerful and full of something I can't name. It draws me in. I love putting a lot of color into my home, and its something that really attracts me to vegetarian food. Its usually so vibrant with fresh fruits and veggies.

My closet definitely reflects my love of color.
I made this shirt a long time ago--it was one of the first wearable garments I constructed all by hand, from drafting my own pattern to picking my own colors. And I love it.
I don't understand this new minimalist movement. A few days ago I was in a coffee shop, talking to a random 20-someting about the difference between Blogger and Wordpress. She wanted to start a blog, and was in a discussion with a male to the table on my right. I said, "Hey, I blog!" and she asked what platform. We had a little discussion about blogger, that ended with me showing her my blog. "Wow," she said, "It is so cluttered...I mean, so colorful. I'm definitely going with Wordpress now, they are much more whiter and open".
"Blogger can be whatever you design it as" I said quickly, pulling up Wifessionals, a blogging friend of mine whose design is very minimalist. My new coffee mate looked critically over the open page I showed her, and said "That's exactly what I want! Look, how cute! And trendy! And white. That's what a website should be." I smiled politely, and she walked off with her drink to another part of the shop.
Then I fumed a bit. I didn't like her critical comment about my website being cluttered. I like my site the way it is. Sure, it isn't perfect, and its not minimalist--but I'm not a minimalist. And I'm far from trendy. Don't get me wrong, I'm not bashing anyone who has a "minimalist" type design. I do appreciate those--and read several blogs that employ this style into their design. It's just not me. And I don't like the idea that there is only one way to be creative, only one way to plan a website, being circulated. I don't like being judged for a bit of color in my space. My blog is very much a lot of bits of me, fun and zany and colorful and loud all at once.
But maybe I'm reading to much into her words that she spoke about a site she only saw for a fleeting second. But I feel like she saw me walk past her and hated my outfit.

Tuesday, August 6, 2013

The secret to Eating Healthy

 If you know me at all, you know I love eating healthy. Eating healthy to me means making sure most of what I eat is organic and all natural. I don't drink soda. I rarely eat sugary treats like candy (I do have quite an obsession with dark chocolate, through.) I try to abstain from eating fried foods. And, I try to make sure my food is mostly fresh veggies and fruits, and that things like starch and gluten are a smaller part of my diet. I fail a lot, and I mess up and loose track, but I always keep trying. And I feel great.

Anyway, I think I've found the secret to eating healthy. I'm serious. What I'm about to tell you is 100% full-proof! (And probably not a secret)
Don't buy anything unhealthy.

That is it. Really. Huh? Uh, well let me explain. You know that large bag of Oreos you ate yesterday when the kids were sleeping? What if you'd never bought it, but instead purchased a bag of apples? If you don't put it in your house, it won't find its way into your mouth. Sometimes I'm so lazy I just want to pop something in the microwave...or sit on the couch with a bag of Doritos....but I can't. Because my fridge is full of spinach, and humus, and I have fresh tomato's from the farmers market. So I make a sandwich and feel better about myself, my body, and my lifestyle. There isn't a Doritos bag in site in my house, and this is done very deliberately.
Another rule to eating healthy is never to settle when it comes to eating out. I do not eat fast food. Sure, I have, and when traveling sometimes I still do--but I try to as little as possible. I actually try not to eat out, but sometimes a girl's gotta date. Her husband. And not have dishes. Because I really hate dishes. But we always go to a healthy, sit down place, with yummy vegetarian food on the menu for me to scarf! Noms!

So, that's a quick overview of my food preferences. What are yours? I'd love to know!

Some of my favorite recipes:
What is your favorite healthy recipe? Please share!
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